50 Snapshots
by poeticgrace
Summary: Fifty glimpses into the life of Eric and Vince - what was, what is and what could be. From the "Fifty Word" challenge.
1. 50 Snapshots

**Comfort:** Eric used to think that going back to Queens was the only way he could go home again, but walking through the front door and kissing Vince for five minutes in the entryway is now his very definition of coming home.

**Kiss:** Vince could pretend that all of this really began that time Eric kissed him after the party in Malibu, when they both know it's been going on for more than twenty-five years.

**Soft:** Turtle shuts the door softly when he sees Eric and Vince sprawled out on the sofa together, the indigo lights flickering brightly on the wall as Sports Center plays mutedly on the plasma.

**Pain:** It's only when Eric says "Sloan said yes" that Vince really believes that it's over for good.

**Potatoes:** "C'mon, Baby Bro," Johnny tells him proudly one night as he makes dinner, "everybody knows that mashed potatoes are the way to E's heart."

**Rain:** Vince's eyes are dark and wild as lightning illuminates the room behind him, giving Eric just enough light to see what he's grasping at as he tugs his best friend down by his tattered Ramones tee.

**Chocolate:** Eric only punches Turtle twice in the shoulder for stealing the expensive truffles Vince sent from the set in Paris for missing their first Valentine's Day together.

**Happiness:** The press of the cold metal ring on his neck as Vince kisses him for the first time as his husband goes down as the best feeling of Eric's life.

**Telephone:** His BlackBerry buzzes miserably across the marble desk, the only way Eric knows for sure that Vince is still sorry for laughing when Eric called him Baby at breakfast.

**Ears:** "I love your little elfish ears, E," Vince coos softly in the elevator, "and I don't give a fuck what Ari says."

**Name:** "Do you think they'd figure it out of I started going by Vincent Chase-Murphy professionally?"

**Sensual:** Kissing Eric with his eyes open while waiting for the limo outside the theater is the single sexiest thing Vince has ever done, even with the paparazzi buzzing fifteen feet from them.

**Death:** Eric holds Vince's hand so tightly at his mother's funeral that his knuckles are still purple four hours later.

**Sex:** "I've given you everything I have, Vince, and I think it's about time you start paying me back right now."

**Touch:** They used to touch like this all the time when they were kids, before they knew what words like "queer" and "fag" and "fairy" could do to a guy from Queens and his Hollywood Golden Boy of a best friend.

**Weakness:** His greatest weakness in life was his inability to say no to Vincent Chase, and that was how he found himself tied to the corners of his best friend's four-poster bed.

**Tears:** Eric's voice is inaudible in the dark as he whispers his confession, "She makes me almost as happy as you made me."

**Speed:** Vince only had a few seconds to think before the car careened head on into the truck, and Eric Murphy monopolized his every thought.

**Wind:** The Santa Anas always left all of Los Angeles feeling a little bit reckless, and the four boys from Queens were no exception.

**Freedom:** "I don't give a fuck what you or Hollywood thinks, Ari," Eric said before kissing Vince soundly on the red carpet at the Academy Awards, sending off a flurry of camera flashes around them.

**Life:** He wasn't sure of many things right now, but Eric Murphy was always going to be the best thing that ever happened to him.

**Jealousy:** "Even if I flirt with the girls a little, you know that I'm always coming home at the end of the night with you, E."

**Hands:** Vince held a cold compress to Eric's bloody knuckles as he looked up at him in wonder and said, "I still can't believe you punched out Harvey for me."

**Taste:** He still couldn't get used to flavored lip gloss again after the taste of Eric's mint chapstick.

**Devotion:** The longest relationship that either of them would ever know was the one they had with each other, whether it was business or friendship or something more.

**Forever:** "I was all in the minute I followed you out to California, Vin," Eric said one night in bed, "so of course I'm gonna roll the dice with you one more time."

**Blood:** Vince pricked his forefinger and pressed it to E's when they were six years old, entwining their fates for the rest of their lives.

**Sickness:** The guy at Al-Anon told Eric and his mother that his father's addiction was a disease, and years later, that's the only way to explain Eric's obsession with Vince.

**Melody:** Watching Vince sing to their daughter in the nursery, Eric still can't help but think he would have been an amazing Joey Ramone.

**Star:** When the bright lights fade and Hollywood has forgotten his name, Vince is happy to know that he will still be the leading man in E's life.

**Home:** Vince takes the first flight he can find back to Queens when Eric tells him that he just can't do this anymore.

**Confusion:** Eric tries not to think too much as Vince presses him against the bathroom door in Eric Roberts' rusty Winnebago, forgetting about the 'shrooms and focusing on Vince's tongue sliding past his lips.

**Fear:** "C'mon, E, I'll even buy you popcorn," Vince whispers in his ear one afternoon when they're thirteen and Turtle is trying to convince him to see _The Shining_, "and I won't even tell anyone if you need to hold my hand."

**Thunder:** He thinks about that old Garth Brooks song that his mother used to sing sometimes when Vince comes home late, lipstick smeared across his cheek and his collar smelling like Chanel perfume.

**Bonds:** Turtle agrees to be Eric's best man and Johnny's standing up there next to Vince and it's the four of them, just like always, against the world.

**Market:** Turtle still doesn't understand why Vince tells _Maxim_ that his favorite thing to do on a Saturday afternoon is go to the farmer's market with Eric, but it keeps him stocked with plenty of girls for at least the next three weeks.

T**echnology:** Five-thousand miles doesn't feel so far as Vince's beautiful face fills the screen of his laptop in Australia, whispering promises about how "It's only twenty-four more hours, Baby."

**Gift:** It makes Vince almost hard just seeing Eric twist the band of the ridiculously expensive watch he got him after _Gatsby _scored the Oscar nomination and even harder hours later when Eric's beneath him wearing only that.

**Smile:** Eric knows exactly what that Cheshire grin means, the one that tells him that they are both fucked...literally.

**Innocence:** Ten-year-old Eric had no idea what he what he was saying when he told Vince to quit the basketball team and try out for the school play instead, but that moment pretty much changed everything.

**Completion:** "That's a wrap," Eric just barely managed to say before Vince tackled him in front of everyone, kissing him deeply as a reward for wrapping his first film as a director.

**Clouds:** A puffy cumulus cloud and Vince's even puffier hair are the first thing he sees when he comes to after almost drowning at 4-H summer camp.

**Sky:** His eyes are so blue when he looks down at Eric hopefully, imploring him to just promise that everything is going to be okay as long as they still have each other.

**Heaven:** Eric can't help but think how right Johnny is when he comments that the Coq au Vin was a gift from God.

**Hell:** His mother's Catholic guilt is worse than any review when they finally come out, so they spend every Sunday that summer in the third pew at St. Agnes.

**Sun:** Vince's amused smile is so bright that E barely hears Ari call him the luckiest leprechaun cocksucker on the West Coast.

**Moon:** The moon looked the same in Los Angeles as it did in Queens, and sometimes that was the only comfort either of them had.

**Waves:** The need to have Vince in his bed comes to him in waves, ebbing and flowing in time to the moments when knows that he can have him and the moments that he actually does.

**Hair:** His black curls cascade over the pristine white sheets, and Eric realizes that Shauna was right – Vince would be a fucking beautiful Jesus.

**Supernova: **The critics and tabloids might say that Vincent Chase's star exploded when _Aquaman_ was released five years ago, but he would always trace that moment to when he was six years old and a mouthy Irish redhead from Queens agreed to be his best friend.

* * *

Author's Note: I will be using these 50 prompts over the next year to do 50 oneshots in the lovely but small Entourage fandom. Hopefully someone will actually read and enjoy these!


	2. Comfort

**Comfort. **

It was one of those endless days where it felt like California was kicking his ass, and the only thing Eric Murphy wanted to do was go home to his palatial home in the hills, sit by the pool with his boys and drink beer until the sun went down. Instead, he was stuck in an tumultuous round of negotiation calls with the studio over Vince's latest movie, and it didn't appear that either side would be giving up any time soon. He was unyielding in the minimum Vince would accept for playing a widowed father in the latest Nora Ephron rom com set to be shot in two months, even if Scarlett had signed on as the female lead and Gary Marshall was set to direct. It was almost guaranteed box office gold if they could land Vincent, but E wasn't about to let them know he was sold just yet.

"I told you that we weren't taking less than seven, Addison," he reminded the executive over at Sony, his voice deceivingly booming and demanding. The truth was that he still wasn't comfortable in the board room. The expensive suits and svelte haircut were still just a front. Inside, he was always going to be the mouthy Irish kid ready to throw down at a moment's notice whenever said anything about his best friend. "I know that you've been talking to Topher and Jake. If you really think that they'd be a better fit for your little pet project, I suggest you start calling their people now. Maybe they would be okay with accepting this shit offer you're trying to pawn off on Vince."

A victorious smile spread across his lips as he heard Addison sigh in defeat. Ten short minutes later, his assistant was bringing in a stack of contracts for him to review and have Vince sign. However, those papers would have to wait because he had a meeting with Charlie across town for lunch and then a two o'clock with the guy heading up post-production on the indie flick Vince wrapped up last month. He would swing through Ari's on the way back toward the house to sign off on some promotional stills the studio wanted to put out ahead of the big release next month.

Eric was already running a half-hour late when he showed up in front of the Ivy to find an annoyed Charlie waiting impatiently inside the front door. He tossed the keys to his beautiful new Aston Martin – an updated gift from Vince to mark the one-year transition in their relationship – to the valet and strolled into the restaurant. He was already in the middle of apologizing when Charlie waved his hand dismissively. After two years with the Murphy Group, Charlie was used to playing second fiddle to Vincent Chase. He figured that there were a lot lesser stars he could share a manager with and was just happy that Eric wasn't too busy to keep him on his client roster.

"I know, I know, you're sorry that you're late," Charlie grinned while leering suggestively at the beautiful, petite hostess leading them to their seats. Eric rolled his eyes and was reminded, not for the first time, of how Vince looked at girls up until a year ago. "So how is the career of the Mister? Is he signing on for that big romantic comedy with Scarlett Jo?"

"The ink should be dry tonight," Eric answered tiredly. He scanned the menu before settling on his usual lunch at the overpriced hot spot. His bank account might be larger these days, but Eric still budgeted every penny carefully. He knew that it could all end tomorrow, and he would be left trying to figure out how to stretch every dollar to cover Vince's lavish tastes. "Besides, I thought I told you to quit calling Vince that."

"Face it, E, you might as well be married to the man," Charlie teased before returning his attention to the pretty hostess and ordering a lunch that only made Eric wince a little bit.

After an hour with Charlie and a new script he promised to pursue on his youngest client's behalf, Eric was back in the Aston Martin fighting traffic on La Cienega while Oasis kept him company. He tapped his fingers in time to the slow beat and contemplated calling Vince just as traffic started to loosen up. "Dammit," Eric muttered under his breath as he missed his turn because some jackass in a Mercedes cut him off at the last minute. He made the loop one last time before pulling into the lot behind some hidden studio. He didn't even bother checking his hair as he slid from the car, setting the alarm on his way into the back door. Eric had given up needing to impress anyone last year, after Vince had gotten his first big nomination and they had been accepted into Hollywood high society. The boys from Queens had officially arrived, and when Vince had kissed him into the back of the limousine the night of the Oscars, it had quit mattering to E altogether,

"Murphy, you're late," Jamison declared as soon as he stepped into the editing bay. Eric rolled his eyes and shrugged, not really caring what the guy had to say. He was low on the totem pole in terms of the movie. Eric just wanted to see the trailer as promised and get over to Ari's. "Your assistant told me that you would be here at two."

"I did my best," he said unapologetically. He knew that it was past three now, but that's how things went sometimes. He hated to be late; his mother had ingrained manners in him from an early age. Still, he had learned that sometimes it was okay to make someone wait for you. He was on top here, not the other way around. "Let's see what you've cut together, Jamison. I'm hearing good things. Don't let Vince down."

"I don't see Vince anywhere around here," the older man replied as he pressed play on the computer. Vince's beautiful blue eyes illuminated the screen as the two-minute film preview started to stream. Eric watched as unbiasedly as possible, trying to think what he would have thought of the trailer when he was thirteen years old and sprawled out on the couch over at the Chases. Would he have wanted to see this movie? Just as the question passed through his mind, a flash of Vince entwined in Natalie Portman was enough to remind him that he would have loved this movie.

By the time the release date played on the oversized Mac screen, Eric knew that they had another hit on their hands. It was an indie flick, so that didn't mean a big open. However, it would be enough to keep Vince supplied with offers for the next year. "Looks good, man, seriously. You did a great job. I know Vin would love it. Do you mind burning me a couple copies? I want to show Vince and Ari."

Jamison went to work burning him a pair of DVDs while Eric snuck outside to check messages. There were a few from his office, reminding him of this or that, and a couple from different people wanting to talk to him about projects for Vince. The last message was from the superstar himself, whining about when was he going to come home and could he pick up a strawberry shake from that place that he loves, the one they went to three months ago after that meeting. If it were anyone else, they would wonder what meeting that was, but Eric knew exactly the place. He jotted a quick note on the palm of his hand like a thirteen-year-old girl, reminding himself to pick up a sweet treat for Vince on his way home...whenever that was going to be.

Thirty minutes later, he was riding up the elevator to Ari's office, counting the minutes until he would be back in his car and headed home. It was funny. Eric used to think that going back to Queens was the only way he could go home again, but walking through the front door and kissing Vince for five minutes in the entryway was now his very definition of coming home. It was the promise of that long kiss that convinced him to put on his game face and saunter into Ari's office as if he owned the place.

"Ah, Pizza Boy, we meet again."

"Ari, that was almost ten years ago. You seriously need some new material."

"The classics never get old, E," Ari reminded him before emptying the contents of a manila envelope onto his glass desk. "Shauna dropped these off an hour ago. The ones tabbed with the pink post-its are the ones that we think work best. Have a look at them and sign the release form."

Eric looked over the promotional stills. His eyes couldn't help but dilate a little in desire as he took in the breathtaking photographs of Vince. His boy really was beautiful. "Look good, Ari," Eric managed as he traced his finger over a black and white snapshot of a brooding Vince looking over his shoulder. Eric could remember watching the scene from the sidelines, knowing then that it was a perfect movie moment.

"You're looking at these like they're your own personal porn collection, E," Ari sneered. The truth was that it was a good thing that E was looking at them like that. If Eric was that turned on by a few promotional shots, it probably meant that the housewives and gays of America would agree with him. As much shit as he gave the Irish midget, his taste when it came to Vince was impeccable. He was right nearly every time, and it killed Ari to have to admit that. "Just scrawl your five-year-old signature on the contract and get going. Lloyd's going into heat out there from having one of his kind in the office."

"Fuck you, Ari," Eric said emptily. He was too exhausted to argue with Ari properly. He signed the form that Shauna had sent over. "Can I have these?"

"Sure, whatever, get out," Ari retorted, already on the phone.

It was another half hour and a pit stop later before Eric was finally pulling his car into the circle drive outside the house that he still shared with Vince, Turtle and Drama. The other cars were gone, indicating that he might actually get an hour alone with Vince before the other two morons got back. "Hi, honey, I'm home," he called jokingly as he came in the front door. Vince was on him in an instant, kissing him while getting the strawberry shake out of his grasp so that Eric's hands could find their rightful place in his dark curls. "Mmm, I take it that you missed me."

"I always miss you, E," Vince whispered softly before stealing another kiss. Eric smiled gently as Vince turned to take a long sip of his strawberry shake, making their next kiss cool and sweet. Eric finally felt himself relax, the stresses of his day melting away. It was just like coming home again.


	3. Kiss

**Kiss.**

Vince could pretend that all of this really began that time Eric kissed him after the party in Malibu, when they both know it's been going on for more than twenty-five years.

It was the night of Vince's 31st birthday party when he first noticed it. There were a million people in the room, music blaring in the crowded VIP lounge of some random beach house that belonged to some Hollywood producer Ari had found. The alcohol had been pouring for hours, and Turtle had managed to land some of California's finest. Girls were everywhere, spread out on red velvet sofas and grinding to the hypnotic bass line in pairs and trios on the crowded dance floor. A content buzz filled the room as the party-goers celebrated the birthday of some guy they only knew from movie posters and tabloid fodder.

Eric had been wrapped up in a lanky brunette with coal-black locks and ice blue eyes all night. If she were only a few inches taller and had a few less curves, she could have easily been Vince's twin. Eric didn't seem to notice, however, as she bent to whisper into his ear while they waited in line to order at the bar. Turtle had mentioned it when she had walked in the door, Drama's jaw had literally dropped and Vince hadn't been able to tear his eyes away. While the other two may have been intrigued by the resemblance, Vince was only left feeling jealous. If his best friend could fall so instantly for a girl like that, why couldn't he look at Vince with those same adoring blue eyes?

And so, Vince had left the blonde playmates on the dance floor and sauntered toward the bar. He slung his arm around E's shoulder affectionately, squeezing him to his side like he had a million times. Eric looked at him with a cocked eyebrow before shaking his head with a wry grin. "Allison, this is my best friend, Vince," he introduced the young woman. "You might have heard, but tonight's his birthday."

"Happy birthday, Vince," she smiled politely. Vince wanted to hate her, he really did, but there was something so likable about her. He noticed the predatory glint in her eye, the easygoing lilt to her Eastern accent, the careful but messy way she was put together. She was the female embodiment of him. "How old are you?"

"Thirty-one."

"Same as me!"

Vince rolled his eyes. "Of course you are," he muttered under his breath. Eric looked up at him again in confusion. He couldn't understand why his best friend was being rude. That wasn't like Vince at all. "Look, E, I just wanted to tell you that I'm gonna head out. There are too many people here. Johnny and Turtle are set up. I think I'm just gonna go back to the house and crash. I have an early call tomorrow."

Eric looked up at the girl as if he was contemplating staying behind. Vince couldn't wait around to be left going home alone, so he just shrugged and waved before turning on his sneakered heel and heading for the nearest exit. He tucked his head down as he wove through the crowd, letting the sounds drown out the questions bumping around in his brain. He never got jealous, certainly not of E's girls. It didn't make sense.

The cool sea air crashed over him as he hit the beach, his Chuck Taylors sinking into the sand as he treaded toward where the limo was idling nearby. Just as he was about to open the door, a single voice stopped him dead in his tracks. "I said wait up. Couldn't you hear me calling?" Vince shook his head without turning around. "Jesus, Vin, what the fuck's up with you?"

"Why her?"

Eric shook his head. "What?"

"You heard me," Vince shot back. "Why her? Out of everyone, why her?"

His best friend shrugged. Why was anyone attracted to another person? "I don't know, I thought she was beautiful," he answered truthfully. "There was just something that drew me in."

"Maybe because she seemed familiar?"

Eric thought for a moment. "Maybe, yeah."

"You really don't see it?" Vince laughed humorlessly. "God, E, she's me."

"You're insane. Is your ego really that big?"

"Why her and not me?" This question was quieter and far more loaded than perhaps any other in their friendship. Vince had thought about it once, fleetingly when they were still kids, before they knew what it was to be gay or straight or whatever it was that Vince seemed to be tonight. "It could have been me, E. It should have been me."

Eric took a few timid steps forward, the sounds of the party getting lost beneath the gush of the crashing tide. "How long have you felt like this?"

"Tonight, forever, somewhere in between. I don't know," he admitted. He didn't recognize his own voice. Gone was the usually confident guy who knew exactly what he wanted and how to get it. He didn't have E to figure this out for him. He just had to hope that his best friend would see it, too. "I just saw you with her and something broke. There were a million girls at that party, and you had to go for the one that was exactly like me. That has to mean something." Eric was quiet, unnerving Vince to uncomfortable proportions. He closed the gap between them and started to reach up to touch his best friend like he had so many times before. His knuckles brushed over E's smooth cheek. "Tell me it means something."

He was on the edge of telling Vince that this was all in his head, but then he realized he had turned his face involuntarily into Vince's palm. Even Eric couldn't deny that left to his own devices, his natural instinct was to find comfort in Vince. "Yeah, it means something," he finally allowed.

So maybe they hadn't figured it out at six or thirteen or eighteen or even twenty-five. Maybe it took countless one-night stands for Vince and a few serious relationships for Eric. Maybe it took two major cities on two different coasts, a string of box office hits and a couple of failures. Maybe it took one last straw. Maybe they had to go through all of that to realize that their longest relationship, the one they had with each other, was the one that really mattered. Vince could pretend that all this began with a kiss on a beach after the party in Malibu, but that was a lie. This kiss was twenty-five years in the making, and as E's lips met his, Vince knew that it was worth the wait.


	4. Soft

**Soft.**

Turtle had always struggled to understand the relationship between Eric and Vince. The three of them had been best friends since Turtle showed up that rainy day in third grade, a Yankees cap backwards on his head and a football tucked under his arm. He had followed them around the neighborhood and then around the world without question, understanding he ranked third in their friendship but wearing it like a badge of honor. He was fine with not being the most important person to either of them because he didn't seem to need them like they needed each other.

It was both a blessing and a curse to be a best friend to both of them because he was often the one that got put in the middle when things weren't going there way. This also meant that he was the first one to be brushed aside when things were. There seemed to be a lot more of the prior lately than the latter, especially since Vince's star was on the rise again and he was putting more pressure on E to get him the big-name projects that he wanted. Turtle had spent hours listening to both of them complain about the other, each trying to outdo the other when it came to bitching about their inconsiderations. Everything had come to a head last night when E had failed to get the number of some starlet Vince wanted to chase, and Eric had finally had enough that he actually fought back.

So, like he so often did between the two, Turtle had sprung into action. E wasn't the only one that was fed up. After making plans for the night at some new club with Drama, Turtle had locked the two best friends at the house alone and told them he wouldn't be back until the next morning. "You two need to fix whatever's broken here because we can't take much more," he'd told his friends, his arms crossed over his chest as he peered down at them sitting on the couch. "Things have been fucked up between you two for awhile. I don't care if you fight, scream, whatever. Just fucking fix it."

That was hours ago, and Turtle was home to see what progress the two had made. E's Aston Martin was still in the driveway, and it didn't look like it had moved all night. The television was blaring as he came into the house, a little louder than his hangover headache would have preferred. He started to call out to them but noted the time on his watch as he came into the den. It wasn't even eight yet and the chances that Vince was up yet were slim to none. He opened the door to the darkened room, expecting to find E asleep on the couch alone. Instead, Turtle shut the door softly when he saw Eric and Vince sprawled out on the sofa together, the indigo lights flickering brightly on the wall as Sports Center played loudly on the plasma.

Things start to snap into place, and he saw for the first time all the things that he had somehow missed before. Vince and Eric started fighting right around the time they took that scouting trip to Napa, and Vince came back with those teeth marks on his neck. It always seemed to get worse when one or the other brought a girl around and got better whenever she was sent packing. Theirs had always been an affectionate friendship, but he had noticed E sitting closer to Vince lately and allowing Vince to put his arm around his shoulders a little more.

He's still adding up all those little things when E comes into the kitchen in search of a cup of coffee. He ducks his head boyishly like he always does when he's stressed or embarrassed, his blue eyes avoiding Turtle as he pours a cup of Colombia's finest into the bright red mug. "How long?" Turtle asks finally, looking up at his friend over the edge of his own coffee cup.

Turtle sees the conflict in E's eyes. Telling the truth could cost both Eric and Vince a lot, but he couldn't lie anymore. Not to Turtle at least, not after what they had put them through. "Since Colombia off and on," Eric answers shortly, coming over to sit across the table from his friend. "Some when we were kids, even a little when I first came out here. But really, like where it mattered, since _Medellin_."

"And now?" Turtle asks, setting down his cup and reaching into the pocket of his shorts for a joint. This news was too big to take on completely sober. He wishes Drama was here. He would say something stupid and make Turtle feel less self-conscious about whatever he was about to say. "Are you guys back on? Did you fix it?"

Eric nods solemnly, a small smile playing across his lips. Turtle had seen that smile before, the one that he reserved only when he was talking about Vince. It was the same one he'd seen the night Vince had landed his first role in the school play and the time they'd gotten lost on the subway in Manhattan and when Vince bought him the Maserati. "Yeah, we fixed it," he finally says. "Thanks, man."

"Thanks for what?" Vince asks sleepily as he saunters into the kitchen, falling easily into the chair next to E and reaching blindly for his coffee cup.

Turtle leans back in his chair and watches his two friends fight over the cup of coffee, grinning at each other in a teasing way that promises that things really are good. He might never be the most important person in the world to Vince or Eric, but he was happy with the position he had been given. They might not need him like they needed each other. They just needed him before they could figure that out.


	5. Pain

**Pain.**

He's been alone for months now, abandoned by Drama with his television show and Turtle with school and Eric with his other clients. Johnny's been in the condo for a couple years now, and Turtle spent most the past year shacked up with Jamie across town. Vince only sees E these day's at Ari's office for business meetings, reminding him once again that he's basically living in the huge mansion all alone. He could deal with all of that as long as he had these moments, the stolen hours behind closed doors when Eric let his guard down enough to relax and Vince opened his heart enough to admit that maybe he could fall in love. Vince had counted on these moments since Eric had showed up in Los Angeles seven years ago, but now he wasn't sure what he was going to count on anymore.

It's only when Eric says "Sloan said yes" that Vince really believes that it's over for good. The other guys had seen it coming from a mile away, but Vince had held onto the vain hope that Eric would finally choose him and they could really be together. He knew all the reasons why not, how it was bad for his career and why Eric's mom would never understand. He got all the problems other people could have with what they had, but he had never fully comprehended why E couldn't give into it. He didn't seem to mind when he was under Vince, their bodies moving in perfect harmony as one. He was fine with the fleeting looks across the breakfast table and stolen kisses in elevators and the occasional hook-up in a club bathroom. All of those things were fine because they were on E's timetable, by his rules. It was only when Vince deviated from the plan and decided that this was something more than Eric started to have a problem.

"So this is it then," Vince says softly into the dark, his voice barely audible as he turns over on his side to face Eric. He can't see his best friend's face, but he knows he's there. He knows that E can hear the tears in his voice and that there are probably a few spilling out of his beautiful blue eyes,too. "You're really going to marry her? After all of this, after what we just did, you are still going to marry Sloan."

E's long exhale is the only answer Vince needs. "It's not like you and I can just be out and proud, Vin," Eric finally answers, his words coming out more like an excuse than an actual reply. Vince rolls away from in a huff, but Eric seeks him out a moment later. He presses himself against Vince's back, his short arms coming around Vince's longer ones so that their hands are clasped on his stomach. "Sloan loves me. My mom loves her, the guys love her. I love her."

"You love me," Vince shoots back. Eric can't argue because they both know it's true. He had loved Vince in one way or another since they were six years old, and no matter how old they got, that is the one thing that would never change. "You love her as a friend, but you are in love with me. You don't just do what we just did and not have it mean anything, E. I know you better than that. You wouldn't have risked everything with me one last time if there wasn't something worth fighting for here. You don't have to go through with this. You have other options. I'm your other option."

Vince sounds so weak and vulnerable that it breaks Eric's heart all over again. "If only it were that easy, Vince, you know that I would pick you," Eric retorts softly. His breath tickles the back of Vince's neck as he lays a gentle kiss at his nape. "I would always pick you. But you have a career that we have both worked very hard for you to have. This is what you wanted more than anything, and I will not take that away by being selfish now. You deserve to be a star, Vince. God knows that you've been the only one in my sky for most of my life. I just think that this is something that we have to do."

He's angry now. He could listen to Eric justify this if it were for his own reasons, but he's not about to let him pin this on Vince. "No, no way, not even," Vince argues, turning around in Eric's arms so that they are nearly nose to nose. "_This _is what I wanted more than anything, not some life that doesn't matter if I don't have you in it. You are the most selfless man I know, E. You give and give and give. I've always been the selfish one, and maybe this is my chance to do right by you. The honorable thing would be to step aside and let Sloan have you. But I can't, I won't. You belong to me just like I belong to you."

"You're just making this harder than it has to be," Eric says weakly. Vince's forehead is pressed to his now, his tears falling onto Eric's cheek as they both cling tightly to each other. Vince has never been this way with anyone in his entire life. He can't imagine ever feeling this much about anything else. "Fuck, Vin. This was supposed to make everything easier. I thought if I asked Sloan then it'd make it easier to walk away."

"And what? I would just stand up as your best man while the love of my life marries another woman," Vince laughs humorlessly. "I can't do that, E. Maybe if I thought that Sloan was what you really wanted, I could swallow my own want and need and wish you well. But she's not what you want, man, not even close. I'm not just what you want, I'm what you need. I have been since that night you showed up at my house in the first grade, begging to spend the night so that you didn't have to listen to your parents fight anymore. I took care of you that night, and I will take care of you for the rest of our lives if you will just let me. Say you'll let me, E, say you will let me."

The desperation in Vince's voice is something that not even Eric has heard before. He thought he knew all of Vince's tones, but this was completely new. "Hey, it's okay," he hushes a crying Vince, running his fingers through dark curls the way he know Vince likes. Vince lets everyone think that E's the one that has always took care of him, but very few people know that their friendship really began the night E let Vince take care of him. "Of course I'll let you, Vince. I don't think I ever really had a choice."

"Yeah?" Vince murmurs before leaning up to kiss Eric soundly, letting his sadness and gratitude mix with a content sigh against his best friend's lips. "You're not going to leave me?" Eric shakes his head, brushing his nose against Vince's in the most intimate of ways. He can't imagine going through with it, not after this. Vince's career wasn't the only reason he had proposed to Sloan. She was his safety net, but it was possible that just maybe, Eric didn't need that anymore. "Because I fall apart every time you leave me, E. I don't want...I can't do this without you."

"Me neither, Vince," Eric admits before turning them so that he's flat on his back and Vince's head is against his chest. He reaches blindly for his cell phone on the nightstand while his other hand cards through Vince's hair. He dials the number from memory, pressing the speaker button before resting it on his chest next to Vince's cheek. Vince's foot rubs along Eric's instep as Sloan picks up on the other end, stilling E's breath for just a moment before he can react. "Hey, Sloan, I think we need to talk..."


	6. Potatoes

**Potatoes.**

Vincent Chase had done a lot of things to impress girls. Not that it usually took much – the bat of his long dark lashes, a meaningful smile, the slight nod of a head – to get him what he wanted. He had sent flowers, lavished them with gifts, took them on romantic weekends halfway across the world. He had used lines from his movies to get them in bed, his VIP connection to apologize and his name to get them to look his way in the first place. All of that was easy to him. It came naturally to just use his charm to get what he wanted.

However, what wasn't easy for him was actually having to work to impress someone. It felt like he had been working his whole life to impress his best friend. Eric Murphy's opinion not only mattered to him more than anyone else's in the world, it often mattered to Vince more than his own. From the time they were six and Eric told him that he was stupid for liking Spiderman more than Batman, Vince had been working hard to impress E. Superheros and bicycles had been replaced by multi-million dollar movie deals and sports cars, but the sentiment was the same. Eric was still the center of Vince's universe.

"Johnny, are you sure I can' t just buy him another car?" Vince asked tersely as he blew his dark locks out of his eyes. He had been slaving over a hot stove for hours, working diligently with his Nazi of a brother to make a dinner that he wasn't sure was going to be even edible at this point. It had started out as a simple way to impress Eric rather than his usual protocol for attracting someone. Between Johnny's lack of patience and Vince's incompetence in the kitchen, it was pretty much a disaster. "I mean, I know that he really liked the Maserati and the Aston when I got those for him before..."

Johnny grimaced at his brother as he corrected his whipping technique. "C'mon, Baby Bro," Johnny told him proudly as he helped make dinner, "everybody knows that mashed potatoes are the way to E's heart."

It was true. The first girl that had ever been worthy of E's love, his own mother, had set the standard for mashed potatoes when they were kids. Over the years, E had devised a little-known test. If a girl could make good mashed potatoes, E knew that she was worth keeping around. Sloan had made amazing mashed potatoes. E still talked about them sometimes.

Vince tried to pretend to listen as Johnny went over the finer nuances of milk-to-butter ratios but found his mind drifting off. There were a pair of steaks marinating in the fridge, which he would grill just before E came over. Johnny had gone over blanching broccoli and helped him make the rolls from scratch. They'd managed to make E's favorite pie, complete with fresh whipped cream. There was a bottle of red on the counter, and Vince had even gone shopping on his own for new place settings special for tonight's dinner. Turtle had helped in his own way by sending over some flowers and a couple of candles from a little floral boutique just down the hill from the house. He had been smart enough to stay away from the house, though, preferring to hang out with some cute girl he'd met at the UCLA library last week.

"Alright, you think you got everything?" Drama asked two hours later, wiping imaginary sweat from his brow before throwing his stained apron on the counter. Vince nodded as he moved the steaks onto the clean plates. E would be here any minute. "Good luck, Bro. I know that you need tonight to go well. Let me know tomorrow if I need to kick E's ass for breaking your heart."

Vince pounded his brother's fist gratefully just as he heard the garage door go up. Johnny made himself scarce quickly, sneaking out the back so that he could go undetected. Vince's hands were actually shaking as Eric came into the living room, completely unaware of what was about to go down. "Yo!" E called as he came into the kitchen. "Wow, where's Drama? This smells amazing."

"I, uh, made it," Vince stuttered. He felt ridiculous as he brought over the rest of the food to the table. He was usually so smooth, but watching E stand there, with his wide eyes and rumpled collar and tongue sweeping across his bottom lip, it was just too much. "Sit down, take a load off. Stay awhile even. I made us some dinner."

"You made this?" Eric asked skeptically. He poked his fork at the steak while Vince poured them each a goblet of the expensive Bordeaux he knew Eric loved. He smiled at Vince happily as he took a long swill of the red wine. "Vin, this is kind of amazing."

Vince smiled affectionately as he carried the bread back to the table. "Glad you think so," he retorted, resting his hand on E's shoulder briefly before going back to the kitchen for the mashed potatoes. He heard Eric's breath hitch just slightly as he sat the bowl in the middle of the table. Vince had to admit that he was pretty proud of himself then. There were perfect little white peaks in the creamy potato, and Johnny had promised him that they would be good enough. "I made your favorite."

"I see that," Eric replied nervously. They had been doing this – being more than business and more than friends – for a month now. Only the guys knew, and they didn't even really talk about it to them. Vince knew that E worried that he was just fucking around, but it was more than that for him. It had been more than that for three decades, and it would be more than that for at least the next three. That's what tonight was about. That was the whole reason he made those damn potatoes in the first place. "What's the occasion?"

"Just thought I would do something nice for my boy-...for you," Vince retorted. He'd almost said the word out loud. He'd never said that before. He'd only really had one person he considered his significant other, and Mandy was married to some whiny indie rock guy now. This time mattered so much more. "Eat up, I don't want it to get cold. I worked really hard."

The two of them made quiet conversation as they ate. Vince was mostly silent, finding himself watching Eric's little reactions more than he was talking or eating himself. E didn't seem to mind as he smiled up at him over the edge of his wine glass or held his fork up in toast. Only the mashed potatoes sat untouched on his plate so far. It was pure torture. Finally, when he had speared the last bit of steak, E sat his fork down next to his dish and picked up his spoon. Vince leaned forward slightly in anticipation. Eric licked his lips before taking the spoon in his mouth. He seemed to consider the food thoughtfully before swallowing.

"Good."

Vince looked at him in disbelief. "Good? Really? That's all you have to say?"

"Yeah," Eric smiled. "They're good."

"I worked all day to make those mashed potatoes, and you're just calling them good."

"Yup," Eric retorted shortly, smiling at Vince proudly as he scooped another bite into his mouth. They ate the rest of the meal and dessert in silence. Vince was disappointed and Eric was smug. It wasn't a pretty combination. "Do you want me to help?" Eric asked as Vince stood to clear the table, but he only shook his head. He just wanted this to be over.

Vince leaned against the counter as he deposited the plates in the sink. He tried to ignore the way Eric's voice was repeating "Good" over and over again in his head as he looked out across the backyard at the sparkling lights of Los Angeles below. This wasn't how tonight was supposed to go.

"You could have made me mashed potatoes from a box and I would have loved them," Eric whispered against his temple as he came up behind Vince, wrapping his arms around him. It shouldn't have worked because of their height difference, but E seemed to fit Vince in a way that no one else ever had. "You didn't need to make a fancy dinner or the perfect gourmet mashed potatoes. I would have loved them because you made them for me. I would have loved them because they were yours."

He turned around in Eric's arms and looked down at him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, Vin," he promised. "Don't you know that by now?"

Vince thought for a moment before he nodded. He did know that. "It's just nice to hear sometimes."

"They were the best mashed potatoes I've ever had," Eric whispered. "You didn't just pass the test. With you, I didn't even need the test."

Vince wouldn't fully understand that little comment until hours later, after they'd made love and eaten pie in bed while watching reruns of _Viking Quest_ and making fun of Drama. "Wait, you love me?" he asked, keeping one eye glued to the screen as his brother wielded an ax and the other peering out of Eric in his periphery.

"Yeah, you moron, that's what I meant earlier."

"Oh, cool," Vince replied, reaching across Eric to flick off the television.

"Hey, I was watching that!" E snapped playfully as Vince crawled over his body. "Oh..."

"Yeah, I didn't get enough to eat earlier," Vince grinned. "I think I'm hungry for seconds."


	7. Rain

**Rain.**

It starts when they're six years old and Vince was about to get his ass kicked by one of the older kids in the neighborhood and a mouthy redhead named Eric showed up to defend his honor. It's sharing matchbox cars stolen from his older brother (Vince) and letting him hang out whenever his own house gets too crowded (Eric) and finding the best friend he would ever know (both of them). It's splashing through mud puddles on the way home from school and throwing snowballs at each other when the first big snowfall hits New York and sneaking into the pool on summer nights when it's too hot to even breathe. It's innocence at its best and somehow knowing that friendships like this didn't come along every day and finding the person you would lay down your life for before you could even write your name in cursive.

They're thirteen and it's the first time they've smoked a joint on E's roof after his parents went to bed and they're both feeling a little reckless as they trip over each other in the dark. It's a mess of gangly limbs (Vince) and the first prickles of facial hair (Eric) and racing hearts that just can't seem to catch a break (both of them). It's first kisses that they will never speak of to anyone else and the first hint of something more than friendship and questions that don't really have a right answer. It's nervousness and exhilaration and everything in between that can't be defined so easily with words.

It's seventeen and the night after high school graduation and they're both feeling a little nostalgic for the days that are behind them now. It's the hope of a better life in California (Vince) and the promise of making more of themselves than their fathers did (Eric) and sadness that this could be the last time that they're together like this (both of them). It's the last kisses that have to last them and the last thing either of them could ever picture being permanent and those last worries that they could never say aloud. It's the fear that they won't fall and the knowledge that they already have and the frustration that they can't make this work.

And then it's twenty-three and they're separated by three-thousand miles and neither of them has felt like themselves in far too long. It's the emptiness at the end of the night when he crawls back to Johnny's alone (Vince) and the way he misses his best friend when he's closing up the pizza shop (Eric) and how this isn't how it was supposed to end up (both of them). It's the late-night phone calls when Eric walks the darkened streets of Queens and the early evening hours when Vince is crammed between two girls in the VIP lounge and how it's the only time the distance doesn't seem to matter. It's whispered promises over telephone lines and reminders that this doesn't have to be forever and being scared shitless that maybe it will be.

It's twenty-five and stepping off the airplane into the salty beach air and seeing the only person they need standing right there in front of them for the first time in way too long. It's a long hug that he hopes his brother will think is just friendship (Vince) and a nervous glance around the airport terminal in case his best friend is recognized (Eric) and the easy way their arms find home around each other as they walk in the warm California sun (both of them). It's Vince's eyes that are dark and wild as lightning illuminates the room behind him and the storm giving Eric just enough light to see what he's grasping at as he tugs his best friend down by his tattered Ramones tee and the relief that they finally feel when they are back together as one again. It's how Eric won't walk away this time and how Vince needs him to stay and how they're finally going to do this for real.

They're thirty-two then and they both have careers that mean they should matter to the world and they're still hiding behind girls too pretty to draw attention to what's really going on. It's hands on thigh under dark tables during business meetings (Vince) and revenge kisses pressed against the dirty wall of a bathroom stall (Eric) and going home together at the end of the night in their oversized mansion where it finally feels normal (both of them). It's playing house while the rest of the world thinks they're just best friends and only letting a few select friends see what's really going on behind the curtain and the constant threat of being found out hanging above their heads. It's the idea of finally coming out and Eric being scared that it will ruin everything for Vince and Vince convincing Eric that, hey, this really is the best idea.

And then it's forty-eight and they have been together for thirty-five years and they finally have enough courage to do this, to lock it down and make sure that it will last forever. It's the brilliant smile as he thanks his partner after winning his second Academy Award (Vince) and a champagne toast to his fiancée as he celebrates taking over the city's largest management firm (Eric) and the adoring looks as the most perfect little girl is born into the world (both of them). It's late nights up with their daughter in the nursery and being too tired to make love after a long day of negotiating contracts and how neither of them could ever imagine being this happy with anyone else. It's having someone to come home to at the end of the day and someone who understands you even when you don't understand yourself and someone who has been by your side since you were just a kid.

It's sixty-four and a lifetime of hit movies and huge deals behind you and staying in together on a Saturday night to watch movies they loved when they were six. It's teaching their daughter to drive even though he's still not a great driver himself (Vince) and questioning the first boy that comes to take their little girl away from them (Eric) and waiting up until she finally comes home (both of them). It's how after almost sixty years, there is still no one else who knows them better and how life has thrown a lot of rain at them and the way that they have always managed to find the sunshine at the end of the proverbial rainbow. It's still being best friends with the guys that came up with them in the neighborhood and sharing the Hollywood dream with them forty years after you came out to California and watching your daughters gossip about their lame fathers with smug smiles on their beautiful faces. It's a family that is stronger than most are given biologically and bonds that have endured miles and years and births and deaths and a connection that has sustained not just the two of them but everyone around them for so long.

They're eighty-nine and the disease has spread and the doctors say that this is finally it. It's the hum of a ventilator in a sterile hospital room (Vince) and the constant beeping of a heart monitor attached to his chest (Eric) and the shrill screech of a flat line as life leaves the room (both of them). It's how they had done everything together their entire life and how they would leave the earth on the same day and why neither of them could imagine living even an hour without the other. It's tears that their daughter will cry as she tries to console their twin grandsons and the comfort she will find in knowing that they had each other and all the memories that they've built together over a lifetime. It's rain falling and the clouds parting and the sun coming out as the world spins on without them.

It's nine decades of friendship and love and complete contentment. It's finding a best friend at six and a lover at seventeen and a husband at forty-eight. It's finally coming home at twenty-five and watching their daughter grow into a woman at sixty-four and all the many moments in those years between. It's being scared of losing everything at twenty-three and knowing that's not possible at thirty-two and realizing that fear doesn't much matter at eighty-nine. It's more than either of them could have every imagined and all the things that they could have hoped for and it always felt like living the dream.

It's more than all that. It's a life. It's everything.


	8. Chocolate

**Chocolate.**

Eric only punches Turtle twice in the shoulder for stealing the expensive truffles Vince sent from the set in Paris for missing their first Valentine's Day together.

"Man, how was I supposed to know that these were some grand romantic gesture?" Turtle whined as he checked his shoulder for bruises. Eric had been on edge since Vince had left for Europe the week before. It was the first time he hadn't been on set with Vince every day for awhile, but it was more than that. He wasn't just missing his client or his best friend this time. He was missing his boyfriend, his partner, his other half. "Seriously, I know you are all wound up with sexual tension or whatever, but you have got to take it easy."

It was Valentine's Day, their first one officially as a couple and Vince was more than 5,000 miles away cozied up with some hot brunette co-star making a romantic European caper set in the most romantic city in the world. It was the first time Vince had insisted on being on set alone; not even Drama was with him. Eric knew that he shouldn't be jealous. Vince had had girls like the cute actress since he was thirteen, but they weren't the ones that he came home to at night. He could have had his pick of the litter, and he still chose the mouthy redhead runt from Queens. Besides, he kept telling himself, he wasn't jealous; he just missed Vince.

"I thought you were going out with that girl you met last week at S Bar," Eric muttered as he messed with the basket on the coffee machine. It was well past nine and Eric was wound tight enough that the last thing he needed was more caffeine. He just hadn't slept well in weeks and had come to dread crawling into their big bed alone. "Why are you still even here?"

Turtle tried not to be offended by his friend's question. The last thing he wanted to do was spend Valentine's Day with Eric, but it was pretty clear how screwed up he was over missing Vince. It still weirded Turtle out to see them together. It was creepy how they could be so into chicks one day and into each other the next. Still, he was loyal to a fault, and there wasn't anyone whose back he had more than Eric, Vince and Johnny.

"I just thought you might want to hang or something. Besides, Sydney already had plans with some guy she went to college with," Turtle shrugged as he took the basket from a frustrated Eric. "Alright, we are not hanging out here all night. I know that you don't want to go to a club but how about that dive pub on West Eighth? You can get piss drunk and we'll drunk dial Vince in Paris. It should be getting close to morning anyhow."

So they set off into the unseasonably February night. Eric managed to down enough drinks that he lost track after eight. He didn't mind Turtle hitting on the cute bartender or the impossibly bad Celtic playing or the bitter aftertaste of the cheap Guinness. He was so used to needing to control everything that it was nice to lose himself for just one night. When Turtle finally peeled him from the stool and hauled him out to the taxi waiting at the curb, they were both pretty far gone. Eric was pretty sure that the driver must have hated both of them by the time they crawled into the house.

It felt bigger than usual and impossibly lonely. Eric flopped into the overstuffed couch and allowed himself to wallow about how much he missed Vince. "I really miss my boyfriend," he said aloud to no one in particular. Turtle lifted his head slightly from the other end of the sofa and just nodded knowingly. "I'm gonna call Vince. I wanna call Vince, Turtle. Where's my phone? Can you call Vince for me? I don't remember how to use it."

While a high Eric was a silent Eric, the drunk version of him talked a mile a minute. Turtle wasn't as obliterated as his friend, so he could focus on the BlackBerry enough to dial Vince's private cell phone. It rang a few times before going to voicemail. He grimaced at the silver device before dialing again. "Voice mail," he told Eric. The redhead frowned at him and snatched the phone away.

"Vincent Chase, this is your boyfriend speaking. Remember me? Eric Murphy?" he babbled into the phone. "Did you know it's Valentine's Day? I guess you did because you sent that candy. You could have called me! Instead, Turtle and me went out and drank. I think we drank a lot. I can't really remember right now. Oh, and Turtle was my Valentine. Isn't that fuckin' hilarious? Can you imagine? Turtle and me!"

"Alright, man, I think you've said enough," Turtle reasoned before ending the call. He took Eric's phone and tucked it on the top of a bookshelf so that E couldn't make any more phone calls he'd regret in a few hours. "Are you gonna crash here?"

"Mmhmm," Eric said happily, reaching for the whiskey bottle he'd found in the liquor cabinet. He curled up on the couch with the amber bottle, nearly spooning it like Turtle imagined Vince spooned E. "Hey, Turtle?"

"Yeah, E?"

"I miss Vince."

"I'm sure he misses you too, E."

Turtle went back to the kitchen to turn out the lights and set the alarm. By the time he came back into the living room, E was passed out to the world, his mouth open and his legs thrown haphazardly over the edge of the couch. Turtle threw a blanket over his friend and then headed upstairs to his own bedroom. He couldn't imagine ever missing anyone the way E seemed to miss Vince. There was a time he thought that he might love Jamie like those two loved each other, but it had never been as unconditional as their connection. It didn't even creep him out all that much that he was still thinking about his best friends' relationship as he drifted off to sleep. All he had ever wanted was for all of them to be happy, so in a way, E and Vince finally making this work was almost like a dream come true.

Morning seemed to come way too quickly, and before Turtle realized it, the harsh rays of early afternoon sun were beating down on his face. He could smell coffee brewing all the way from his bedroom and the comfortable hum of voices downstairs. He wasn't in a hurry to leave his bed. He figured it was the television or maybe Johnny had stopped by. Turtle could definitely make out E's voice, but he knew that his friend kept a running commentary while he watched Sports Center.

After another fifteen minutes of vegging, Turtle finally crawled out of his bed and slunk down the stairs in a hungover mess. "Yo, E, what do we have in the way of breakfast?" he called as he came through the living room. Turtle rolled his eyes when Eric didn't answer. "E? Did you hear me....oh, whoa."

A disheveled Eric turned around, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. A bright crimson crept up his Irish throat as he looked at his friend sheepishly. Vince chuckled beside him, his hand still resting beneath the hem of E's shirt. He looked tired, probably from a long Transatlantic flight, and his hair was longer than the last time they'd seen him.

"Hey. Turtle."

"Uh, hey, Vin," Turtle replied uncomfortably. "Aren't you supposed to be, I don't know, in Paris?"

"I had somewhere I had to be," he shrugged. "Besides, I heard you ate E's truffles, so I had to bring him some more. I can't have you ruining my boy's Valentine now, can I?"

"Right, so, um," Turtle stammered. He had a killer headache, felt uncomfortable and just wanted to go back to bed. "I think I'm gonna give you guys some space and go over to Drama's to sleep off this hangover. You deserve to have your reunion in private."

"Thanks, man," Vince said, reaching past E to bump his fist to Turtle's. I don't leave until the weekend, so we'll all have to catch dinner or something before I go back."

"Sure thing," Turtle retorted before starting for the stairs. He was just about out of the kitchen when E called his name. "What's up, E?"

"Thanks for being my Valentine, Turtle," E smirked. "You were the perfect gentleman."

"Yeah, thanks for taking care of my man," Vince added, wrapping his arm around E's waist. "By the way, there is a package for you on the sofa. Just my little sign of appreciation."

Turtle looked back at his best friends one last time and thought maybe, just maybe, this didn't have to be so weird after all. Maybe he would never understand it but he didn't think he really needed to get it. They hadn't let the business ruin the friendship and so far, they hadn't let the relationship mess it up either. It was still the four of them like it had always been, hanging out and having fun and being best friends. Besides, those were fucking great chocolate truffles, and as long as Vince still needed to impress E, Turtle was pretty sure that they were all going to be able to reap the benefits.


	9. Happiness

**Happiness.**

The night that Vince finally asks Eric to be his forever, to make this twentysomething year relationship permanent, isn't really that special at all. It could have been any night last week or three years ago or a decade before in Queens or even the day they graduated from high school. It wasn't anything more than the two of them hanging out, watching stupid movies they loved when they were kids and drinking beers they'd snatched from the six pack Drama had left at their place the night before.

"So what do you think?" Vince asked just as Jack Woltz finds the horse head in his bed on the 52-inch screen. Eric is tucked neatly under Vince's arm, his head resting sleepily on his shoulder while they both struggle to stay awake. It's been a long week of reshoots on Vince's latest film, and the toll seems to be greater on E than the actor himself.

Eric raises an eyebrow at him questioningly. "About what?"

"After we wrap up the movie next week, I was thinking that we could take a little trip," Vince suggested. It'd been awhile since they had escaped from Los Angeles and if the perpetual wrinkle in E's forehead was any sign, they both really could use a break from the bright lights of Hollywood. "We haven't been to Italy for awhile, or we could go to an island or something. I just think we could both use some time away."

"Sure, sounds good," Eric answered with a deep yawn. Vince leaned over and kissed his head tenderly. His heart swelled at the smallest thing E did these days. He never knew how overwhelmingly sexy a little yawn from his best friend could be, but it easily counted as one of his favorite things in the world. "I'll talk to Turtle, have him set something up."

"Actually, I was thinking that it should be just you and me," Vince countered slightly nervously. Eric looked at him suspiciously. The guys had always come along for trips, even after they'd gotten together and started sharing a room. Once E had promised Turtle wasn't his type and Johnny had given his poignant supportive speech, things had pretty much gotten back to the way they'd always been. "You know, like a honeymoon or something."

An amused chuckled escaped past E's lips as he turned to look at Vince. "Uh, Vin, I think you have to get married to qualify a vacation as a honeymoon."

"Right, so maybe we should just get married."

"Yeah, right, fuck you," Eric laughed. It was the last thing he expected, even if it was something he had been thinking about himself for the past few months. He'd always wanted to be married with a house full of Irish Catholic babies. He'd just thought his kids would call his best friend Uncle Vince instead of Daddy, but this seemed so much better. "C'mon, Vin, that's not something I want to joke about."

"Who's joking?" Vince shrugged. Eric's face went deadly serious as he reached for the remote and muted the television. "I'm serious, E, we could do this, like, for real."

"Vince, I'm serious, too," E warned. He couldn't take if this was some fucked-up prank or another bet between Turtle and Drama. Vince knew how much marriage meant to him and how seriously he took commitment. It had taken his best friend months to even convince E that they were fully together. He always had one eye on the blonde in the corner trying to put the moves on his boyfriend or a careful hand on his thigh to remind the overtly gay busboy just whose bed Vince would end up in that night. Vince secretly loved how possessive Eric could be because it only served to remind him how much he was loved. No one had ever wanted, needed, protected, adored Vince like E. "You can't just ask me this and tell me it's a joke two minutes later. If you're really asking, you gotta be ready to hear the answer. You can't just take it back."

"Then let me ask you again," Vince proposed. He didn't drop to his knee or get some lovesick look in his soulful gray eyes. Instead, he cocked his head like he did when they were six and was trying to figure out what E meant when he called him pretty and bit his bottom lip like that time in Manhattan in seventh grade and Vince couldn't quite figure out how the subway worked. "Will you marry me?"

E didn't even think as he automatically blurted out, "Fuck yeah." So maybe it wasn't the most romantic response, but it resounded of the relationship that they shared. It was all Queens without any of the Hollywood jading. It was reacting from the gut and following his heart and all that advice his mother had given him in the taxi on the way to the airport the day he'd left for Los Angeles.

And as happy as happy as that moment makes both of them, it doesn't even compare to the way E feels exactly a week later when he and Vince exchange their vows with only Turtle and Drama and their moms there. The press of the cold metal ring on his neck as Vince kisses him for the first time as his husband goes down as the happiest moment of Eric's life. It's the one they tell their kids about years later when they ask how they met and when they knew and what it was like. They just don't tell them about the weeks after that moment, the ones in Fiji where it was just the two of them and a hut on the beach and twenty-eight days of pretending the rest of the world didn't exist. That's the memory they keep just for themselves.


	10. Telephone

**Telephone.**

If he let himself, Eric could probably trace his entire life back to the moment when he knew that he was different. It was a rainy day in the sixth grade, and Mrs. Adler had insisted that they play telephone rather than going outside to play in the mud. He'd been stuck between Vince and Jennifer Rossi, and instead of getting goosebumps when the pretty brunette whispered in his ear, a shiver coursed through his body when Vince's breathy words tickled his neck. It hadn't seemed significant then, but now, almost twenty years later, E was pretty sure that was the moment when everything changed. Maybe if he had said something earlier, he wouldn't have wasted those years in high school pretending to be enamored by Sarah Lum's milky skin or all that time when he first came to Los Angeles falling in love with girls that were never going to be right for him.

But because he was Eric and Vince was Vince, it took them some time to really figure it out. Surprising to them both, it was Vince that actually figured it out first. He was comfortable with the change immediately, transitioning into a relationship much like he did with any of the girls he'd chased over the years. He was relentless in his pursuit of Eric, lavishing him with gifts and stealing kisses in the backseats of limousines all over town. Every night was a new restaurant, and Vince made sure that E knew he was appreciated. He'd always been generous with his money, but now Vince was generous with his heart. All those longing looks and sweet words that were usually reserved for the girl of the hour were now saved especially for Eric.

What Eric couldn't quite get used to were the pet names, though. Vince could pull them off easily enough, calling him babe when he called from the set to check in or honey while they made dinner last week with Drama. The sweet words rolled off his tongue like they were made especially for Vince to say them to E. It was only when Eric tried to return the sentiment when things became awkward. The syllables were stunted when he called him anything other than Vince. He had tried out a few variations on the usual sweet names, but they had all crashed and burned miserably.

Eric's latest failed attempt had been that day over morning coffee, something that was still bothering him a few hours later. His BlackBerry buzzed miserably across the marble desk, the only way Eric knows for sure that Vince is still sorry for laughing when Eric called him baby at breakfast. It shouldn't have been a big deal, but E just sounded so uncomfortable saying it. It wasn't that he didn't feel that way about Vince. He hadn't yet put into words how he felt about the man.

"Alright, that's it," Vince announced as he barged into E's office, shutting the door behind him. He had been at the agency for a couple years now, and the staff was used to Vince and the guys showing up unannounced to distract Eric. "We are not leaving this room until you can call me baby without looking like you want to crawl inside yourself and I don't laugh at you."

"Uh, Vin, trying to work here," Eric reminded him, motioning at the stack of paperwork in front of him. Vince eyed the pile suspiciously and shook his head before crossing his arms in front of him. He clearly wasn't buying it. "Fine, baby, whatever you want."

Vince laughed and shook his head. "Really, E? That's all you got?"

A cool facade passed over Eric's face as he pushed his leather chair back and came around to kiss his boyfriend hello. Vince sighed contently against Eric's mouth as he danced them both backward and onto the couch. "No, I've got a lot more than that, Vin," Eric teased, running his tongue over Vince's bottom lip.

"See, that would have been a perfect time to slip in the baby part, E."

Eric pushed himself up onto his forearms over Vince and glared at him. "We're about to do this, and you choose now to criticize me?" His words are a little angrier than warranted, but he's frustrated. Things aren't supposed to be hard between them. They had never been before, at least not when business was going as good as it had been lately.

"I'm sorry, babe, I wasn't trying to make this harder for you," Vince said, and it sounded so genuine that E's heart broke a little. He allowed Vince to draw him back to the couch. They sat next to each other, and Vince actually reached out to hold E's fucking hand and it's almost too much. Eric turned and buried his face in Vince's shoulder, murmuring something incoherently. "What's that?"

"I love you, Vin," he said as he turned his gaze back to meet Vince's. It's the first time that either of them had said those words, and this time it's Vince who is unsure how to react. "I may not be able to pull off all that other stuff, but I think I did pretty good with those words. They're the only ones that matter."

"They're perfect," Vince whispered. The monologue was better than any that was ever written for a movie script. "You're perfect."

"Hardly," E shook his head, "but I think that's okay. Neither of us is perfect, Vin, but together, I don't know, we kind of are. I might not be able to call you baby without turning bright red, but I'm sure about this."

Vince smiled and kissed Eric soundly, his fingers playing with the soft hairs at the nape of his neck. "I love you, too, E," Vince retorted finally. "I always have, but I guess you knew that."

Eric smiled and nodded slightly. He had known that, Vince was right. "I know you do, baby."

Vince laughed and shook his head. "Nope, still doesn't work," he teased. "Try again."

"I love you, Vin."

"Yeah, that works," Vince grinned. "_Vin._ I like the way that sounds."

"Me too," Eric said as he turned and pressed on Vince's chest. Vince found himself flat on his back a moment later, a hungry Eric over him. "So, _Vin_, back to where we were earlier..."


	11. Ears

**Ears.**

Eric is seething as he stalks out of yet another meeting with Ari, one that ends with him snapping at Ari for yet another comment about his sexuality and results in Vince sneering at his agent before running after his best friend. The two of them had been playing tug-of-war with Vince for years, but there were some days when E felt like he was never going to win. He knew that Vince would never choose Ari over him, but Eric still hates it when Vince asks him to play nice with Ari. Vince was supposed to be on his side no matter what; that was the promise when they were kids in Queens and had stayed the rule in the years since.

"I love your little elfish ears, E," Vince coos softly in the elevator, "and I don't give a fuck what Ari says."

Eric tries not to notice how Vince stands a little too close and drapes his lanky frame over E's shoulder as if this were an everyday thing. "Yeah, well, it would have been nice if you had said that up there instead of saving that sweet shit for when we were alone," E snaps, and Vince recoils immediately. E brushes off the emptiness that surrounds him now that his friend isn't in his personal space. "Sorry, Vin, he just gets to me. It's how many years later and he's still using the same insults on me? I work with players bigger than him every single day, but when I step into his office some days, I still feel like the pizza boy fresh off the plane from La Guardia."

"I happen to like that guy as much as I like this one," Vince says softly as they step off the elevator and head for the private garage. It takes Vince everything he has not to reach out and grab E's hand. No one knows about them yet, not even Turtle or Drama and especially not Ari. They had talked about telling him soon, but after today's meeting, it was the last thing Eric would want to do. "Listen, why don't we not work for a few days? I hate how stressed he makes you."

"So take my side sometimes."

"I always take your side," Vince replies softly, clearly hurt at Eric's words. "C'mon, E, that's not fair. Just because I don't always stop you two from bickering doesn't mean that I'm not on your side." Eric stops walking and turns to consider this seriously. With a single nod, Eric pats Vince on the shoulder and heads for his car. He can't kiss him in public, not here, but Vince sees it in his eyes. It's an understanding. When they're safely on the freeway, Vin reaches across the console to rest his hand on E's thigh. The muscles tense and relax under his fingertips. "I really don't care what Ari says, E, you know that, right? I don't care what anyone says that's not you. Sometimes I think what you say is even more important than what I say."

Eric smiles at him as he pulls up to a spotlight. "That's called loving someone, Vince," he explains cockily, still surprised that he can talk so openly about something like this with the man sitting next to him. "And I do know that, though it's nice to hear sometimes. I just hate him so much sometimes. I don't know that you get what that's like. I put up with so much shit from him for you, and usually, I'm okay with it. But when he starts talking about you like you're just some project, I hate it."

It's then that Vince sees what has Eric really upset. While the elfish ears thing might have set him off, it's not really why Eric is angry. He's mad because Ari had tried to convince him to go for that sappy sports movie Disney had offered him. It was a bad script with a high paycheck. "Are you trying to protect my virtue, E?"

"More like your career."

"No way," Vince shook his head, "I'm not buying it. I've heard you defend me when it's about the business, but that was definitely more than that. That sounded like you protecting me. That sounded a lot like how you got in tenth grade when Turtle told you that rumor about Carla Harper when you were dating her. That sounded like a boyfriend."

The word was so foreign to him in relation to his best friend. "I'm still your manager, right? I was just doing my job, Vin. That would've been a bad move, and I can't believe Ari is still pushing you to go that route after all this time."

"We said I shouldn't do it, E," Vince reminds him. "I wouldn't have let him talk me into it. You've gotta have a little more faith in me."

"I do, Vince," Eric says before replying, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, E. I get it, we'll figure this out, I promise," Vince reassures him. They're both quiet the rest of the way home, only humming along contently to the songs on the barely audible radio. When they're finally in the driveway and Eric has killed the engine, Vince leans over and kisses Eric soundly. It's nice to be home where he can be with E without the threat of cameras around. "See, we already figured out that part."

"And what about that part?" E asks as he spots Ari gaping at them from the driveway, a pizza from Sbarro in hand.

Vince looks at his agent for a moment before leaning over to kiss E again. "I'm pretty sure that part will take care of itself."


	12. Name

**Name.**

Shauna sat on the red velvet sofa in the back room at Armani, a room so private that even some of the sales staff didn't know it existed. It was the room behind the VIP section, the one where ultra exclusive clients would go for fittings that no one could know about. While those sort of things were usually reserved for seasoned actresses nominated for an Academy Award or teen starlets fresh out of rehab, this particular situation called for the same kind of discretion. No one knew that she was here save for her two companions. It was certainly the last thing she had expected when her BlackBerry rang in the middle of her 6 a.m. yoga class. And yet, here she was, watching from her perch as her client tried on the finest that Giorgio himself had to offer.

"I'm just not sure about this hemline, Amber," Giorgio announced as he tugged on Vince's jacket impatiently. He was known as a perfectionist in the fashion industry and had insisted on flying in from Milan personally to attend to Vince's needs. There were few events more important than a man's wedding, and Vince had become one of his favorite men in Hollywood to dress years ago. "This silver tie is perfect for your eyes, Vince. You did a great job picking it out."

"He had nothing to do with it," Shauna piped up as she scrolled through the relentless list of missed calls on her phone. She should be at the office working on the schedule for the pair of television teen bimbos from the CW, but she had never been able to tell Vince no. Much like Ari, her first allegiance was to the tall and lanky drink of water from Queens. He was so much more than a job to Shauna, he was family. "It's his manager over there."

Eric rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he watched Vince turn on the pedestal. It was bad enough that he had been stuck in the clothing store for hours, but now he was being held responsible for Vince's fashion choices. He was already accountable for the rest of his best friend's life, so why not blame him for picking out a stupid tuxedo? "Look, how much longer do you think we're going to be here? Even the guys don't know that Vince is here. They're going to freak when they figure out what is going on. We need to get him out of here before someone catches wind of where he is."

"I assure you that my staff will respect Vince's privacy," Giorgio promised him with his thick Italian accent, looking at the two seamstresses assisting him with the fitting. The young women nodded obediently before jotting down measurements on their clipboards. "Mr. Murphy, I understand that you are just trying to protect your client but you should really relax a little. After all, I believe that Vince is your best friend as well. You should be celebrating this marriage with him!"

"Yeah, E, you should be celebrating!" Vince agreed. Eric rolled his eyes at his best friend as Shauna chuckled appreciatively across the room from him. "Aren't you happy for me?"

"Thrilled, Vin," Eric deadpanned before returning his attention to his BlackBerry. Turtle had already called a half-dozen times, not to mention the fifteen texts that were sitting unopened in his inbox. Ari had already sent him a couple emails, and Drama had left a voicemail a few hours ago.

Vince reached down and snatched the phone, tucking it in his breast pocket. "This is my day, E, pay attention to me," he teased as he admired his own reflection in the mirror. "What do you think, look good? I mean, do you think my bride will like it?"

Eric barely looked at him before waving his had dismissively. "You look fine, Vince."

"Fine?" Vince cried incredulously. "Fine?!? We're talking about my wedding day, E. I am about to commit my life to the person that I love most in the entire world, and you tell me that I look fine?"

"You're starting to sound like a girl, Vince," E warned him before appraising him again. "You look good, you know you do. C'mon, I don't need to feed your ego. I don't think the world can handle it getting bigger than it already is, man. Let's just pay for the tux and get out of here. I have stuff to do, and you're supposed to be reading that stack of scripts Lloyd sent over from Ari's office."

"You're talking to Vince about working during his wedding tux fitting?" Shauna asked Eric, her perfectly plucked brow arched. As the mother of three, she had that maternal guilt thing down pat. Eric looked down at his hands almost shamefully as she chided him, reminding E for a moment of his own mother. "Really, Eric? I would expect a little more out of you when it comes to your best friend."

"Look, I think I've done pretty good here. I was a good sport the first two hours, kept my mouth shut the next two and haven't complained these past two. We're encroaching on the seven-hour mark here, and while I appreciate that Vince needs the perfect custom suit for his wedding, I do have a life of my own."

Vince glanced over at Eric. He could see that his best friend was nearing a breaking point. "Alright, Shauna, ease up on E a little bit. He's right. I was supposed to read those scripts last night and I kind of put it off. I just got caught up in wedding plans. It's hard to do everything on the sly when everyone in Hollywood wants to know your business," he retorted. From anyone else, it could have sounded like a complaint. Vince said it so matter-of-factly, as if it were completely normal that he was planning a secret wedding. The last thing the tabloids expected was for their beloved playboy to end up in wedded bliss. "Giorgio, do you have everything you need from me? My manager here is turning into a caged animal."

The designer looked over his notes for a moment before nodding. He leaned over and kissed Vince on both cheeks per usual European custom and sent him on his way with a promise to call as soon as the tuxedo was ready to be picked up in a few days. It and Vince would be on a plane to Paris a few hours later. Eric expected the whole city to be buzzing with gossip about the wedding by the following morning. His head hurt just thinking about it.

The boys walked Shauna to her car before retreating to their own dark SUV idling at the curb. "Look, I know this sort of thing isn't really in the deal, but I really appreciate you coming along with me today," Vince told Eric as they pulled out onto Rodeo. "You only have to put up with it for a few more days and then everything will be over."

Eric leaned back in the plush leather seat and regarded Vince for a moment. "Vin, I've known you for 25 years. For as long as I live, it will never be over," he laughed. He was always stuck right in the middle of Vinceland. He had this crazy energy that managed to pull everyone into his orbit. "It's not that big of a deal. You need me there, you know I'm going to be there. That's how it's always been."

Vince nodded before turning to look out the window quietly. There was a car full of paparazzi driving along side of them, an everyday occurrence in the life of a movie star. While they could be a burden, Vince secretly thought he would miss the camera flashes if they were to ever go away. It was both perplexing and exhilarating to think that anyone cared enough to pay thousands of dollars for a simple snapshot of him eating lunch with the boys or shopping with E or working out with Drama.

Eric's cell phone rang as they turned onto Sunset to head for Le Petit Four for a late lunch. "Eric Murphy," he said without even looking at the screen. Vince could tell that it was Shauna by the way E held the phone a few inches from his ear. "Calm down, Shauna. I can't understand what you're talking about through all the cursing." Vince watched as E listened for a moment before turning a distinct shade of pale. "We're headed to the house now. Call Ari, meet us there."

"What happened?" Vince asked as Eric angrily disconnected the call. He made a sharp turn and maneuvered the car in the opposite direction back toward the house. "E, say something."

"Someone talked," E said shortly. "Everyone in Hollywood will know you're getting married by the time _Variety_ hits our doorstep tomorrow morning."

Vince tried not to panic. There was a reason that he had elected to keep this a secret. He was in love, but he didn't want his wedding day to be tarnished by hovering helicopters and social-climbing crashers. No one knew beside Eric, Shauna and the few people helping make arrangements. He hadn't told Drama, Turtle or his mother. With all this going on, he began to worry. What if his fiancée backed out? It'd be so easy for all this chaos to become overwhelming.

Shauna and Christy were already waiting in front of the house when Eric pulled up. Thankfully, Drama was filming today, and Turtle had some kind of study group for the business class he was taking. "Ari's on his way," Shauna told Vince as they exchanged kisses. Eric was wringing his hands, pacing the stone driveway as anxiously as Vince felt. "Jesus, Eric, settle down. You've got to get your head together before Ari gets here. I already briefed him over the phone. You need to be prepared."

However, Eric didn't have much time because exactly two minutes later, Ari was tearing up the driveway. He was already half way through a screaming tirade when he got out of the car, bypassing Vince and heading straight for Eric. "How could you keep me out of the loop, Pizza Boy?" he screamed. Vince was fairly sure it was impossible for anyone's face to turn that shade of red and still be able to breathe. "How the fuck did you forget to tell me that not only is my star client getting married, but he's fucking marrying another guy?"

"Hey, enough," Vince spoke up, slipping between the two to stop the conflict before it got any worse. He saw the way E's fists were balled up at his sides, a surefire sign that he was about to strike any minute. He gently pressed Eric back, their eyes locking as Vince did his best to put distance between the two of them and Ari. "Now listen, I'm putting Shauna in charge of how we deal with this. We are going to sit down and talk about it rationally, or I am just going to decide what to do on my own. Got it, Ari?"

Ari was still fuming but nodded silently in agreement. Shauna and Christy led Ari in the direction of the bar, leaving an exhausted Eric and anxious Vince in their wake. They followed Vince's team of handlers into the house and collapsed on opposite ends of the same couch in the living room. Ari downed a tumbler of scotch and then another before pinching the bridge of his nose in deep concentration. "Alright, we need a plan," he said once he had calmed his breathing down enough to where he could actually speak coherently. "What do you got, Shauna?"

"Do you think they'd figure it out of I started going by Vincent Chase-Murphy professionally?"

Everyone glared at Vince, no one harder than E. "Not funny, Vince," he said between gritted teeth.

"I laughed," he shrugged before returning his focus to Shauna. His publicist spent the next hour laying out her plan, with Ari adding his two cents here and there. Eric was mostly quiet, only nodding agreeably at the parts that seemed to work for him. Finally, after he had heard what they had to say, Vince leaned forward and looked at Shauna. "So, bottom line, what are my options?"

"You can come forward and tell your story. You can say nothing and deny everything. Or you can actually do nothing and not get married," she outlined. "Listen, as your publicist, I have to tell you that the last option is your best one right now. You have every right to be out and proud, but I think it's a little early to do that when you're still working through everything on your own."

"No way." Vince is shocked when those words come from E rather than him. "I am marrying Vince at the end of this weekend whether Hollywood likes it or not. He can do the interviews. He can say no comment. I'll support him either which way, but I'm not going to let you convince Vince that the best thing for him is for us to not get married."

"Honey, I actually agree," Shauna smiled genuinely. "As his publicist, I have to tell him that. As his friend, I'm going to tell him that I will work this however he wants me to because I know how happy you make him and you both really deserve to have this."

"Ari?"

The agent looked over at Vince when he said his name. "Yeah, okay," he agreed reluctantly. Like Shauna, Ari knew that Vince went far beyond the usual client-agent relationship. He was his friend, someone that he cared about in a way that most people would never get from Ari. Outside his kids and wife and probably Lloyd, Ari didn't really love that many people, but he loved Vincent Chase. "If this is what you want, if this is what you need, we'll make it work. Shauna and I will do our best to protect you, but you need to be prepared for the fall out."

Vince looked at the end of the couch where Eric was staring back at him, and he knew that he could deal with Hollywood throwing him away like yesterday's news as long as their relationship could make it through. They'd made it this far. A little gossip had nothing on a relationship that had outlasted most careers. "Alright, so we're getting married."

"We're getting married," Eric repeated. "Wow."

"I was serious about what I said earlier."

"What's that, honey?" Shauna asked as she looked up from the checklist Christy had already scribbled down on a legal pad.

"Do you think they'd figure it out of I started going by Vincent Chase-Murphy professionally?" he repeated. Eric only glared at him again. "What? It totally worked for Courtney Cox after she married David Arquette."

"Well, I'm no David Arquette," Eric asserted.

"Yeah, true," Vince agreed. "You're much hotter and funnier and probably even a better actor. Alright, so you can take my name. I think Eric Chase has a nice ring to it."

"Vince," Eric moaned, the two of them having their own conversation as if no one else was aorund. They'd always been like this, since they were six years old and had developed their own secret language. .

"I got it!" Vince announced. "Mr. and Mr. Vince and Eric Chase-Murphy."

"Oh, God, is it too late to back out?"

"Yup," Vince smiled, "you're stuck with me."

"Yeah," Eric replied affectionately. "I guess I am."


	13. Sensual

**Sensual.**

A thousand flashing cameras and Eric has never been so nervous. He's pretty sure that he could have a heart attack any moment, and Vince is by his side, totally unphased, looking sexy as hell in that Hugo Boss suit Shauna had sent over last minute. Turtle is behind him with some girl he picked up at lunch that day, and Drama is content to walk the carpet alone, not wanting some random hookup to steal his limited limelight. Ari is shooting daggers his way but plastering on a smile whenever Vince glances at his agent, something he's not doing so much now that all of his attention is focused on his best friend and manager.

"This is pretty cool," he says softly as they pause to smile for cameras, Vince's arm draped causally around his waste. He's standing a little closer than he usually does, taking up even more of Eric's space just because he can. Vince answers some question about his latest project and smiles for the photographer and nudges Eric gently to prod him to do the same. Just before they've reached the next camera crew waiting to interview them, Vince stops and turns to look at E. "You're okay with being here, right? I mean, like this. I know we talked about it, but I know it's a lot to take in."

And just like that, when Vince is being the same understanding dope that made him fall in the first place, everything shifts back into place and Eric is sure that everything is going to be fine. So it's Eric who reaches for his hand and tugs Vince toward the next reporter and laughs when she makes an awkward comment about their changed relationship and grins like a fool in love at the camera.

Half way through the movie, Vince gets up and hides out in the lobby, the usual premiere jitters coursing through his veins. Eric comes to find him, carrying a box of Red Vines like he did when they were kids and Vince would get freaked out by a horror movie. He's sitting on a bench below a huge poster of his face, looking like a scared fifth grader waiting for his mom to come pick him up.

"Nervous?" E asks as he drops heavily onto the bench next to Vince. He nods silently, takes the piece of licorice offered to him and rests his head on E's shoulder. "Vin, they are loving this movie. You know that you did good work on it. The critics are already talking nominations. Don't let it get to you. I know this movie was important to you, but it's amazing. It's gonna do well."

Vince looks at him and knows that he will believe it because Eric believes it and that's never led him wrong once in his life before. But that's not what's bothering him really. "This movie isn't even the most important thing I've done today, E," Vince says softly, reaching for Eric's hand and threading their fingers together just so they can be further connected. He is always so on for the public, for the cameras, for the paparazzi, even for the people in his life. But it's different with Eric. He can just be himself and decompress and be quiet with E. "You really think it's good, right?"

"I think it's amazing, Vin," Eric promises, leaning over to kiss his dark curls absently. "What do you say we blow off the rest of the movie and the after party? I happen to have an advanced screening DVD waiting at home. We could watch the rest of the movie in bed at home."

"What about Ari and Drew? He was a great director, I kind of owe it to the studio and him to stick around," Vince starts to reason before snapping his jaw shut. How often does E encourage him to blow of his responsibilities and obligations in exchange for an evening in bed? "You know what, screw it. There is no where else I'd rather watch this movie for the first time than in bed with you."

"Good," Eric replies before standing up and reaching out his hand to Vince again. Then there's that lopsided smile, the one that E only saw show up for the first time the night they kissed after an exceptionally long shoot on the very film they're about to go home and watch. "C'mon, take me home."

It doesn't take Eric asking twice before Vince is pulling him out the door and toward the curb to wait for the limo. There are still fans and cameras littering around outside, waiting to get candids of everyone as they leave the theater and head to the after party at whatever club is hot that week. For the first time in a long time, Eric doesn't seem to mind them and Vince doesn't even see them. Kissing Eric with his eyes open while waiting for the limo outside the theater is the single sexiest thing Vince has ever done, even with the paparazzi buzzing fifteen feet from them. And later, when they're home in bed and the credits are rolling, E rolls over, kisses Vince and promises that this is the that's going to be his Oscar nomination. And Vince is pretty sure that's the sexiest thing Eric has ever done.


	14. Death

**Death.**

It had been a long six months. The moment the diagnosis came down, Eric had packed a bag and took the first flight out of Los Angeles to come home to Queens and his mother. Vince hadn't been too far behind, setting up house on the floor of Eric's room much like he had when they were kids. They'd taken turns accompanying her to the hospital for treatments and keeping the house clean and cooking meals that somehow resembled food most days. There had been doctor's appointments and sleepless nights pacing the kitchen floor while Eric's mother fought to keep down even water. It had been a living hell, but Eric had been the perfect and dutiful son. And all that time, Vince had been by his side, dealing with everything that came their way as if this was his own mother because in a lot of ways she was.

And as quickly as that had all come about, it was over just as fast. She had been there one minute and gone the next. Eric walked around the house like a ghost for hours afterward, not saying anything as he acted on autopilot and started making funeral arrangements. Vince tried to talk to him, convince him to eat something, prod him to get a few hours of sleep. Eric looked right through him as he turned the worn pages of his mother's address book, calling distant cousins that he hadn't seen in years to give them the bad news.

It was only when Turtle and Drama arrived from California two days later that Eric showed any signs of life. He offered each of his friends a shy smile and hugged them briefly when they came to the house in the middle of the night. Eric didn't really say much as Turtle led him out to the roof to smoke up, something he rarely did these days but seemed to need more than ever. When he was nicely toasted, Eric managed to smile at Vince genuinely for the first time in a few weeks. Vince considered it progress and joined his boys in a round of shots around the small table in E's kitchen.

It was some time after four before the guys headed off to bed, Turtle crashing on the couch and Drama stretched out on the floor beside him. Vince took Eric up to his room and didn't say a word when E tugged him down to the mattress beside him. They had shared a bed a lot when they were kids but it had been years since Vince had spent the night by E's side. However, his best friend seemed to need it now, and Vince was all for giving Eric whatever he needed to get by.

Eric had already been awake three hours when the alarm beside his bed blared the next morning, stirring Vince from a dreamless sleep that could have extended well into the afternoon hours. "Hey," Eric greets his best friend softly, reaching over Vince's lanky frame absently to push the off button on the clock. Vince nods his reply and yanks the blanket up around his chin. It's January and unreasonably cold in Eric's bedroom. "So today is going to suck."

"Yeah," was the only response Vince could come up with that didn't make him sound like a total dick. He wanted to tell Eric that he was sorry that he couldn't fix this for him and hug him the way he should have the night that his mom died and fast forward this day so that neither of them would have to sit through the funeral. He'd easily take all of Eric's pain as his own because it was easier for him to deal with hurting than watching E seem so lost. "Why don't you grab a shower? I'll go down and make the coffee, figure out some breakfast and get the paper sorted out."

Vince doesn't leave the bed until he hears the shower turn on in E's bathroom. The kitchen floor is freezing beneath his bare feet, but he doesn't really notice. He's focused on starting the brewer and making eggs for Eric. It doesn't even register when the shower clicks off and Eric pads into the kitchen with wet hair and a half-buttoned dress shirt. Eric pours himself a cup of coffee and then one for Vince before collapsing into a chair at the table. It's only when Vince takes a sip of the dark brew that Eric realizes he's given Vince his mom's favorites mug, and that sets off an unexpected wave of tears.

"Hey, E, it's okay," Vince whispers as he kneels next to Eric and wraps his arms around his best friend. Vince is glad that it's just him and E for the moment because the other guys wouldn't know how to deal with E like this. Vince was the only one that saw Eric cry when his father died, and he would be the only one to see him cry now that his mother is gone. "I'm going to get you through this, I promise. You don't have to be strong. It's okay to lean on me. I am going to be there. I'll always be there."

Eric manages to eat half his breakfast before heading back upstairs to get away from everyone. Turtle and Drama look to Vince for direction on how to react and what to do. He just sends them back to their mothers' houses to get ready for the funeral and reminds them that the car is supposed to be there just before noon. Once they're gone and he's alone with Eric again, Vince climbs the stairs in search of his best friend. He finds Eric in his mother's room, fiddling with a pale blue tie in the oversized mirror at her vanity. His hands are shaking and he's near tears as he tries to perfect the knot.

Vince's eyes meet Eric's in the mirror. "Do I really have to wear this thing?"

"Of course not," Vince answers as he comes up behind Eric and takes the tie from him. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If you want to wear a Rangers jersey, I'll dig out my old Ramones tee and go casual with you. You get to decide how you deal with this, E."

"I don't want to go today."

Vince nods understandingly because he really doesn't want to go either. "If you want to blow it off, we can, but I really think that this is something that you need to do." He waits a moment for Eric to protest, but the way his shoulders slump tells him that Eric thinks this too. "You want to know a secret?" Eric looked at him for a moment and shrugged. "I'm kind of scared about today. I mean, I've been to funerals before, but it never really mattered if I was there. I think it matters today. I know how much you need me, E, and I am so scared I'm gonna fuck that up. I've been trying so hard to protect you or make this okay for you, but I don't think I can."

"Vin, you've been amazing," Eric replied. "All this time, if you hadn't been here, I don't know how I would have gotten through it. You're not going to fuck this up. You're there. That's all I really need from you. To just be there like you have been every single day since this whole nightmare started. You can't make this okay for me, but you can make me okay."

The air is heavy with things that neither of them are really to deal with, but Vince recognizes that this is a moment that has the potential to change everything. "You're the one who lost his mom, and you're comforting me. My ego really is that big, huh?"

The joke is enough to make Eric smile. He turns and lets Vince knot the tie around his neck. He reaches up and covers Vince's on his chest briefly, squeezing his fingers in a small sign of promise. "Thanks, Vin," he whispers, his eyes locking with Vince's again. "For being here...then and now."

The car comes thirty minutes later, and they're filing into the front pew within the hour. People stand up and say nice things about E's mom, an uncle and a few people from the neighborhood and her best friend from when she was a kid. Drama chokes back his tears and Turtle taps his foot nervously to an imaginary beat playing in his head. Eric holds Vince's hand so tightly that his knuckles are still purple four hours later. It sucks and it's hard but Vince gets Eric through it just like he promised.

After the funeral, after Turtle has gone to his mom's for the night and Drama is next door having dinner with Rita, Vince and Eric sit together on the couch still holding hands. The house is dark and silent as the cold January air seeps in through the single-paned windows. "When we get back to L.A., I think we need to make some changes," Eric says into the darkness.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea," Vince replies as E's head finds its way to his shoulder.

"I'm tired, Vince."

"I know you are, E."

"I'm gonna sleep now."

"Just sleep, E," Vince reassures him. "I'll still be here when you wake up. I'll always be right here."


	15. Sex

**Sex.**

"I've given you everything I have, Vince, and I think it's about time you start paying me back right now." Eric barely recognizes the need, anger and pain in his own voice. It's not like him to be this guy, but then again, he'd always been someone entirely different with Vince.

"E, c'mon, I don't want to fight with you anymore," Vince pleads. He hates when anyone is mad at him, but it's especially hard when that person is Eric. He's still seething in the aftermath of a terrible argument over their night out. There had been girls crawling all over the superstar, and Eric's jealous streak was a mile wide. He was good at playing the part in public, fending off the advances of the less beautiful best friend while watching his boyfriend flirt and dance with all the pretty girls looking for a night with a celebrity. He's usually content to let Vince take the lead when they're in public, but when they are behind closed doors and Vince allows the facade to fall away, it's Eric who has total control. "I said I was sorry. What was I supposed to do? She was drunk and she lunged at me. I couldn't push her away. You know how that would look."

Eric knows exactly how that would look. In fact, he's sat in countless meetings while lawyers, business managers, agents, publicists and anyone else with a stake in Vince's career has explained in detail how it would look for Vince and Eric to be honest about their relationship. Hell, he's even agreed with them for the most part. The business part of him got why it was important to keep it out of the public eye. But the part of him that was in love with Vince found it really hard to keep his mouth shut when some skank had her hand shoved halfway down his boyfriend's pants.

"I just don't want you to kiss anyone that's not me," Eric says finally as he sits on the edge of his bed. They're still doing the separate bedrooms thing, not that either one of them sleeps alone these days. They usually stay in Vince's room because it's bigger, but on the nights when they fight and Eric refuses to go upstairs, Vince seeks him out here. "Vince, do you know what it's like? Imagine a Playboy bunny with her hands all over me. Imagine watching that, knowing what kind of guy I was up until a year ago. I hate seeing them with you. It's too hard."

Vince knows what it's like to watch Eric with the roaming of delicate hands splayed over his chest. He knows what it's like to watch as E crane his head just so to deepen a kiss and to hear him bite back a sharp hiss of pleasure when a girl finds that spot right behind his ear. He knows what it's like to hear Eric crying out in the throes of the moment from the next room. He knows what it's like to hate all that. "Anything you want, E," he finally allows, knowing that he really would give Eric anything. Vince had been his hook, line and sinker from the moment E decided that he wanted Vince.

Eric is sure that he could give into the anger, make the sex dark and dirty like it always was after they fought. Or he can break the pattern tonight and give into the fact that, yeah, his boyfriend is hot and beautiful and women want him, but he is still E's. They can make love leisurely in the home they sharedwithout worrying about fans or cameras or industry people finding out. Just thinking about it makes him exhausted.

"I mean it, Vince, I've given you everything."

Vince kneels next to the bed and rests his cheek against E's thigh. "I know you have."

Eric's fingers tangle in Vince's curls. It still doesn't feel like his everything is enough. Vince turns his head slightly and presses a kiss on Eric's bare skin, just below the hem of his plaid boxers. It's tender and brings tears to Eric's eye. The moment is so tender, so intimate. If Hollywood could only see his boy now, they'd understand why Eric gives Vince everything. They would know that the beautiful movie star had been already been paying Eric back for years.

"C'mon, Vin," Eric announces as he stands up, reaching for Vince's hand. "Let's go to bed." They both know there will be no sleeping any time soon. Vince looks down at E's bed for a moment before darting his gray eyes back up at him. Eric shakes his head and nods toward the hallway. "In your room."

"Our room," Vince corrects pointedly. "From now on, I think, our room."


	16. Touch

**Touch.**

"God, I hate flying."

Eric opens his eyes enough to look sideways at his best friend. Vince's fingers are locked around the armrest of the seat, his elbow pointing not too gently in E's side. It's funny how quickly they had gotten used to flying privately, but there wasn't a commuter jet left to rent in all of Cannes. The city had been hit by the worst rainstorms in quite some time, and everyone was trying to get out of France to head back to sunny California. They had been lucky to get the last two seats in coach on the red eye flight back to Los Angeles in the first place. Between the torrential downpours and high winds, Vince had wanted to wait a couple more days, but Eric had insisted that they would be fine. The film festival had been brutal, and he was ready to get home.

"It's fine, Vin," E reminds him, reaching over to pat his friend's arm absently. He'd loaded Vince up with two anti-anxiety pills and a fully charged iPod before getting on the plane, hoping to catch a few hours of sleep before they got back to the States. Instead, he had spent the first two hours of the trip listening to Vince freak out and calming him down every time they hit even the slightest bit of turbulence. "Why don't you lean back and close your eyes? I think Turtle packed your eye mask in your bag. Turn on the Ramones and get some sleep."

Vince listens to Eric, pulling the black mask over his eyes and trying to drown out his worst fears in the driving punk rock beat of his favorite band. However, when he isn't any closer to sleep fifteen minutes later, he nudges E awake in a vain attempt to entertain himself. E pretends to be asleep for a few minutes until the plane does a decided dip. It's only then that his eyes go flying open and that Vince gets really scared.

"Whoa, what was that?" someone calls from a few rows ahead of them, and before too long, the entire plane is buzzing with concern. Vince has been through pretty bad turbulence before, but if the look on E's face is any indication, this is different.

"E, what's going on?"

Eric's worried gaze softens slightly at Vince's question. His voice sounds so young and innocent, like a child trying and failing at not panicking. "It's just the storm, Vince," E lies. The truth is that he doesn't know what to tell Vince because they both know that something is going wrong with the plane. The pilot's voice comes over the staticy speaker and reassures them that everything is fine. Everyone, including Vince and Eric, know that is a lie. Vince's eyes are wide with fear, and Eric knows that it's his job to calm him down. "You heard him, Vin, it's fine. Just sit back. We'll be back in California soon."

Just as Vince is about to close his eyes, the pilot dings on again and directs everyone back to their seats. Trays are tucked away, seat belts are buckled up and seats are put in the upright position. "Everything is not okay, E," Vince whispers. He's gripping the seat so tightly that his knuckles are white. Eric reaches down and pries his fingertips gently from the hard plastic. They used to touch like this all the time when they were kids, before they knew what words like "queer" and "fag" and "fairy" could do to a guy from Queens and his Hollywood Golden Boy of a best friend.

"Do you trust me, Vince?" The question seems strange and like it has nothing to do with the circumstances at the moment. However, he has to nod because there is no one that he trusts more than Eric. "Good, then trust me now. We are going to be fine. As long as we got each other, I have always promised you that everything is going to be fine. A little bump in the road hasn't changed that before, and I'm not about to let one change that now."

It was endearing the way E truly seemed to believe that he could control fate, and Vince knew that his best friend would go to the ends of the earth trying. Maybe that was all he needed to believe. "Okay, E," he replies in the same small voice as earlier. He doesn't focus on the way the plane bounces thousands of feet in the air or the muffled directions from the pilot or the sound of the rain hitting against the window beside Eric. Instead, he focuses on the way E's hand is warm in his and how their knees are pressed together in the close confines of their seats and how he feels safe as long as E is with him.

He lets this warmth come over him and encase him like a blanket. By shutting out the chaos around him, he can almost pretend they're seven years old and in E's bedroom, both trying to be brave while a thunderstorm rains down on Queens. And just like he did when he was a kid, he reminds himself that Eric will always protect him from the storm and allows himself to finally find sleep. The last thing on his mind when he drifts off is that he's really glad they have money now because Eric's skin has never been this soft against his.

And when he wakes up again, the clouds have parted and sunshine is pouring through the window. E's face is bathed in light, his eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Their hands are still entwined between them. "Hey, E, we made it through the storm," he whispers, nudging Eric's knee to wake him from his sleep.

Eric turns and smiles at him sleepily before looking back out at the sparkling ocean below. "Yeah, we did, Vince," Eric tells him. "Just like I told you that we would." They're getting close to New York, far away from the storm, but neither of them makes a move to let go.


	17. Weakness

**Weakness.**

His greatest weakness in life was his inability to say no to Vincent Chase, and that was how he found himself tied to the corners of his best friend's four-poster bed.

"Come on, E, just relax a little," Vince taunts him softly, his barely inaudible voice husky with desire. Eric can make out Vince's dark blue eyes as he crawls wantonly up the bed. His fingers trace up E's calf and over his knee, finding that spot on the inner thigh that drives Eric wild. Vince chuckles, causing his face to fall forward and his curls to tickle Eric's bare skin. "You still love that, huh?"

Vince knows that Eric still loves it because it is one of his trademark moves. Whenever Eric gets tense in a business meeting, all it takes is Vince sliding his hand under the table and up his leg to distract him. He's used it more than once during dinners with Ari. And usually Eric could grab Vince's hand and direct where he really wanted it, but the silk ties currently binding into his wrists prevented him from seeking relief.

"You know, E, you really shouldn't have bet against the Lakers," Vince teases him. This whole damn thing had started over a basketball game. Of course, it really didn't matter who lost; they'd both end up winners before the night was over. "I mean, you could have been torturing me right about now..."

Eric didn't want to tell Vince that this so-called punishment barely counted as torture. In fact, as he watched Vince swirl his tongue around his belly button, Eric was pretty convinced that he might have actually won without knowing it. "I never bet against the Knicks," Eric manages, his words stunted by a sharp inhale. "Unlike you, I still remember where I come from."

"I just know a smart bet when I see one, E," Vince replies as his tongue dips lower and then back up again. He smiles devilishly, a lot like the one he'd used in _Head On_ that had first driven girls all across America crazy. Eric had first seen it when he was fifteen and came out of the locker room sweaty after baseball practice. "Besides, I like watching you get like this for me. Only for me, right?"

"Only for you as long as you keep doing that thing with your tongue," Eric agrees. Vince is at his side now, his hands wandering over Eric's lower body while his tongue, mouth and lips work over E's collarbone and neck. Eric and Vince never really talked about this, whatever this was. They just let it happen when it happened. Sometimes it was for weeks at a time, and others, they would go for months without a night like this. Vince could be terribly romantic and sweet, or he could be demanding and intoxicating. Eric prefers both sides of him and all the ones between. "Yeah, just like that, Vin."

"Like this?" Vince asks, his hands grasping Eric forcefully while nipping on his earlobe. Eric nods silently as Vince pumps him a few times. "You like that, E?" Eric mumbles incoherently in response, his head lulling to the side while Vince fully took control. "What about this?" The question is low and I Eric's ear as Vince rolls on top of them. They are pressed together tightly, their bodies grinding in just the right places. "Come on, E, look at me." His eyes dart open and burn into Vince's.

Suddenly, Vince wants to feel Eric's arms around him. Vince is pulling at the silk desperately, his mouth locked to Eric's as he tries and fails to undo the binds. Eric ends the kiss and nudges Vince with his thigh. Vince knows to slow down his pace and finally gets the ties unwound. Eric's fingers tangle in Vince's curls instantly as one of his leg comes up to wrap around Vince's waist. They're rutting against each other like sweaty teens in their parents' basement.

It goes on like that for awhile and then it's over. Vince falls onto Eric's chest heavily, his body wracked with exhaustion. Eric strokes his bare back affectionately, murmuring sweet nothings to his satiated lover. It is this part, the afterwards, when Vince's softness came out. "Hey, Vin?"

Vince is barely awake but manages to turn his head to meet Eric's loving gaze. "Hmm?"

"I'm kind of glad I lost."

"I'm kind of glad, too," he smiles, reaching up to pat Eric's cheek. "I'm going to sleep."

A comfortable silence settles over the room, and before long, Eric feels Vince's breath become steady on his chest. He's still stroking Vince back but feels far from sleep.

His greatest weakness in life was his inability to say no to Vincent Chase, and that was how he found himself perfectly content to watch Vince sleep and feel his weight against him.


	18. Tears

**Tears.**

Vince had done it. He had followed his best friend to a restaurant and watched as he proposed. He'd hidden behind a fucking fern as Eric got down on one knee and asked a tearful Sloan to be his wife by the romantic glow of candlelight. He'd watched as Eric slipped the ring on her finger and as they kissed and as the small, intimate dining room burst into applause. Vince had watched it and then he had come home – alone.

Vince was still alone hours later, the lights off and the curtains drawn. The entire house was dark, pitch black and completely devoid of any real connection to the outside world. Eric knew something was off immediately. Rather than the brightly lit house that usually welcomed him home after a long day of putting out fires all over Los Angeles, he was coming to a place that felt far from a warm and inviting home. It sent chills up his spine as soon as he walked in the door.

Vince was sitting with his back to the door, his head in his hands and his body hunched over in a position Eric knew couldn't be comfortable. "Hello?" Eric greeted him, his voice small, feeble and almost scared.

His best friend was quiet for a moment before replying, "I know, Eric."

Eric felt his breath hitch. It wasn't that he had been hiding his engagement. It just wasn't the kind of thing he wanted to talk to Vince about – not after that night, not after everything they'd been through these past few months. They'd both tried to play the part of best friends, but something had been off and they both knew what it was. "I'm sorry."

Vince turned and looked at Eric, the moonlight cascading through the window and reflecting on his face. "You're sorry? Don't be sorry, Eric." His voice was numb, completely empty of any real emotion. "Don't apologize to me, not for this."

Eric could see the probing glare of Vince's blue eyes, even in the dark. He had always been able to find those eyes anywhere in any room. He sat down in the chair opposite of Vince. It'd be so easy to sit down next to Vince, to rest his hand on his knee, to pretend that it was that night two months ago when they'd found themselves in a very similar situation. Eric's voice was inaudible in the dark as he whispered his confession, "She makes me almost as happy as you made me."

Vince shook his head in disbelief. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could Eric come to him like this after everything? "I get it, Eric, I get it," he said harshly. "You want a normal life, a wife and kids, a house in the suburbs. A gay boyfriend doesn't really fit into the picture, does it? Listen, don't worry about it. You can still have the big movie career, and I'll be your best friend. I'll smile and play the Hollywood playboy role just like I always have. You can just forget what happened."

Vince had gone from numb to angry in a matter of seconds, and Eric didn't really know how to react. He couldn't feel the pain that Vince was feeling because he was dealing with his own stuff. It wasn't just that Vince didn't fit into the plan; he loved Sloan. Sure, he loved Vince, but he loved Sloan. He wanted to be with her; he had wanted to be with her from the first moment he met her. When he had proposed the first time on the way back from the trip, Eric had thought that was the beginning of everything. And then weeks had turned into months, and before he knew it, they'd been engaged two years.

A stupid party, a stupid fight and he was drunk. That was the night that changed everything. He turned to Vince just like he always had. He wasn't sure if it was the storm or the darkness or the sadness they both felt, but that night, Eric and Vince found a comfort they'd never sought in each other before. They tried to keep it up for awhile, but like everything in Eric's life, it eventually fell apart. Vince started to pull away, and Eric had gone back to what he had always known. Sloan was anxious to get married and Eric thought that maybe it was the perfect time to renew their engagement and find something permanent. It felt like it was finally time to grow up.

But Vince, poor foolish Vince, he had thought for some stupid reason that maybe Eric was going to the restaurant to break up with Sloan. He knew how he felt about Eric, and with the way things had been between them, he was certain that his best friend felt the same. That's why he had followed him that night, to comfort Eric after he broke Sloan's heart. He had to have been an idiot to believe that. He should have known that E was going to reconnect with Sloan.

For some damn reason, Eric believed that girl was his fate. As far as Vince was concerned, he'd found their mutual destiny when he was six years old. It was the only dream that he had ever wanted, and it mattered even more to him than being a big star in Los Angeles, having the big house in Malibu or having thousands of screaming fans adore him all over the country. Why have all that from afar when he could have Eric, this amazing and incredible guy who knew him better than anyone, right next to him?

"I'm going to marry her, Vin."

Vince looked up at him. "I know, E."

"She's going to be my wife, the mother of my children," Eric insisted. "She's going to be around for the rest of our lives, and I hope to God you're going to be around to share it with us."

"I'll be the perfect Uncle Vince to your kids, Eric. You don't need to worry."

"I tried."

Vince laughed humorlessly. "No, you didn't."

Eric shook his head. "Yes, I did, Vince, I tried. I wanted...I don't know what I wanted. Maybe I wanted it to work, maybe I just needed to go through this so I could really love Sloan. She loves me, Vince. She loves me the way I need to be loved. I don't know if you can understand that."

"You don't know if I can understand that?!?" Vince scoffed. "Eric, you know me. You know me better than anybody." Vince sighed. "How can you say that to me? I'd expect it from anybody else, but not from you, E." He chuckled again with false amusement. "Not from you."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Like I said earlier, E, I don't want you to say anything," came Vince's answer. "I don't want you to do anything. I don't expect anything from you anymore. Like you said, we tried. I guess I failed. It wouldn't be the first time, right?"

"Vin..."

"No, E, really it's fine." Vince was silent as he looked down at his hands. "I loved you the best way I knew how, and you said that she loves you almost the same way or as much or whatever you said. I guess almost is enough for you. I just never thought you'd be the guy to settle. Settle down, maybe, but not settle. I thought you'd want the whole package – the love of a lifetime to go along with the family and the partner. I kinda thought that's what I would be, what I could offer, but Sloan, she could almost give you that. I guess that's what you want...the nice wife you can take to church on Sunday, bring home to mom, show off at the country club, whatever. You don't need me anymore...not for that, not that you ever did, I guess."

"That's not fair."

"You're right, Eric, it's not fair. None of this is fair. It's not fair that the guy I love, the first person I've ever really loved, is going to marry somebody else. I thought it sucked when Mandy got engaged. I had no idea how bad this would feel. She was like a needle prick; this feels like someone cut out my fucking heart. I guess, without knowing it, Sloan kind of did."

"Don't blame her."

"Oh, I don't," Vince assured him instantly. "I don't even blame you really, E. Maybe I'm a little jealous and probably a lot jaded, but I'm happy for you because this is what you want. And I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone and probably more than is healthy. If this is what you want, if this is what it's going to take to make you the man you've always wanted to be, I will support it. I will support you until the day we die, and I can promise you that I will love you just as long."

Eric looked down at his tightly clasped hands and up at Vince and then back down again. "It's not that I don't love you, Vince."

"I know, E."

"It's just that..."

"It's just that this is too much," Vince finished for him. "And you're not sure that either of us can handle it. Honestly, neither am I."

"No, that's not it. I know that we could handle it. It's just that I'm not sure it's what you really want."

"E, you're the only thing I can remember ever wanting besides my career," Vince retorted. "All the rest of it came easily. The roles, the girls, the money, the fame – it was all just a result of me wanting to be an actor. With you, it's never come easy. I had to fight to be your best friend. I would have fought to be more than that, but I won't fight your happiness." Vince stood up and started to leave, but before he walked out completely, he turned to look back at E. "Are you sure that almost is enough?"

"I don't know, Vince," he answered honestly, "but it's what I've got."

Vince shook his head sadly and walked out of the living room. He could hear Eric's sobs as he retreated upstairs and shut his bedroom door behind him. Eric wasn't his to comfort anymore. What had proven to be the beginning of Eric and Sloan's life together was the ending to Vince's life with him. It wasn't easy by any measure of the word, but it was all he was left with. Maybe almost was enough for Eric, but it wasn't enough for Vince. So he would wait until the day his best friend woke up and realized that almost wasn't enough for him either. He knew that it would come eventually because he believed. He believed in destiny. He believed in never settling. He believed in Eric. He believed in love.


	19. Speed

**Speed.**

"Fuck you, Vince."

He could hear the words below the surface, the anger as deep as Vince had ever heard from his best friend. He was trying his best to come back up from the deep fog that had been weighing him down for as long as his short memory would allow him to remember, but every time he neared the edge of consciousness, the overwhelming undertow would bring him back under again. So instead of biting back his usual sarcastic reply, Vince had to concentrate all his efforts on barely twitching his fingers so that Eric would know that he was there. He was pretty sure that none of this was making sense, but then again, he wasn't really used to making sense of being in a coma.

The day had started off badly. He should have known better than to get behind the wheel. He was a bad driver on the best day, but after fighting with Eric over some movie he had thought he had wanted but hadn't gotten, Vince had stalked out of the house and headed down the PCH like a child throwing a fit. He'd lost control just a few miles from the house, tears blinding his gray eyes as he tried to navigate the dark SUV in the rain. Vince only had a few seconds to think before the car careened head on into the truck, and Eric Murphy monopolized his every thought.

Vince had played a guy in a coma once, the year before _Head On_ came out when he had a non-speaking part on that soap for a few days. It was basically a glorified extra role. It had seemed easy to lie there in silence then, but now, he wanted nothing more to come out of this and scream at his best friend just how sorry he was. He'd always heard how your whole life supposedly flashed before your eyes right before you died, but he hadn't been prepared for how that life would look upon reflection. Eric had always been there for Vince, no matter what horribly ugly things he had said to him, and now he was listening to Eric cry while he just waited for his best friend to wake up again.

He could still remember Eric at eight years old, all elbows and knees, in a scruffy uniform after he hit his first home run in Little League. Vince had been his biggest fan, even then, riding his bike a half-mile each way for all of Eric's games. He'd sit on the top bleacher where Eric could see him. He was forever looking over his shoulder before every at-bat just to make sure that Vince was watching him. They'd been trying to impress each other even in those days, and Vince had been in awe of Eric that day. Later on, when they were walking home and making all these plans for E's major league career, Vince could remember stopping at the corner of Queens Boulevard and Grand Ave. and thinking about how his best friend was going to be a star.

Eric wasn't always the star, though. Sometimes, he was a fragile kid who had to fight for everything he had. They still didn't really talk about that night junior year when E had shown up at his door, his lip split and bloody after his pop had a few too many down at Callahan's. Rita hadn't said a word as she sent him upstairs to find Vince. The Chase house had been unusually quiet that night. Eric hadn't cried until Vince had held the ice to his lip. It was the last time they'd slept in the same bed, E wrapped in Vince's arms while he sobbed like a baby. It was the worst night of Vince's life to this day, harder than all the Hollywood failures combined.

However, Eric had the same strength that his mother possessed, and that's how he got through all those long nights at Sbarro's when they were twenty-two. He was determined to make something out of his life, and working at the chain pizza place was the only way he could afford classes at the community college. Vince would come by after acting class to eat whatever leftovers Eric had saved for him. E would always be completely exhausted, his shirt stained with mediocre sauce and his feet aching. However, his face would light up the minute Vince walked in the door. Vince wasn't sure if it was a brave face or if E was always just that happy to see him, but it was kind of nice to have someone to always end the day with after the city had kicked your ass.

That was something he came to really depend on in Los Angeles, especially that first year after Eric came out and things really started to happen for Vince. He couldn't count the nights that had ended sprawled out next to Eric on Johnny's roof. It was all sun-kissed skin and cheap beer and crappy takeout while recounting bad auditions. Eric had worked at that little restaurant doing things Vince still didn't have the heart to ask about because there were some things E just didn't want him to know. He would always just promise Vince that it was worth it and someday he would take care of E in their old age and Vince seemed to believe it because Eric did.

For the most part, that belief was enough to keep Vince going for the next five years. It was only after Gus Van Sant had refused to let him audition that there was really a chink in their armor. They'd fought before – they'd fought a lot – but it was never like it was that day at Vince's childhood home. Vince had said awful things that day and Eric had met him blow for blow. Of course, the difference was that Eric had been right; he had given Vince everything. The fire in his eyes that day still sent shivers down Vince's spine. Kara was the only one who knew he'd thrown up after the fight, and she hadn't told anyone when he had cried out for Eric in his sleep.

Now, here they were at 32, and Eric was crying out for Vince. He was begging him to come back to him. It was only by looking back that Vince could see clearly. He could see where they had been and where they were now and where they were going. He could see what it was like to watch them together, how Eric looked at him like he was the only one in the world and how Vince thrived on being in E's limelight. He could see Eric now, so scared that he was going to lose his entire life if he lost Vince and clinging onto him tightly in hopes that it will be enough to keep him here.

"Fuck you, Vince," Eric said again, not meaning the words but unable to come up with anything even close to how he was feeling.

"Maybe later," Vince managed with a scratchy voice. Eric's face lit up with a brilliant smile as Vince blinked sleepily from behind dark curls. "I think we need to talk."

I know we do, and we will."

"You'll be here?"

Eric nodded and squeezed Vince's hand. Apparently he wasn't the only one who had been doing some looking back. "I'll be here," Eric promised, as if he would be anywhere else.


	20. Wind

**Wind.**

The Santa Anas always left all of Los Angeles feeling a little bit reckless, and the four boys from Queens were no exception. They had been fighting incessantly for the past few days, tired of being cooped up together after years of doing everything as a foursome. Even though Drama had been living in the condo for a few years and Eric had spent most of last year in that rental, hardly a day had passed since Vince's time in Mexico where the four of them hadn't been together. It was starting to wear on all of them, and the annual winds were just another catalyst to the fire that was brewing.

"We have got to get out of Los Angeles," Vince grumbled as he came down the stairs one morning for breakfast. Drama was already at the stove, commandeering a spatula as he worked his culinary magic on an omelet. Eric blindly handed his best friend a cup of coffee from his spot behind the counter. Turtle's face was buried in his arms at the table. "Look at the four of us. The weather has been amazing, and we have spent the last week here together instead of going out. I think a change of scenery would do us good."

"Can't, Vin, I got midterms next week," Turtle shrugged without looking up at his friends. He was overwhelmed with school these days and barely had enough time to sleep between all the studying he had been doing lately. He hadn't been out of town since Italy. "You guys should go without me, though. I'll be studying, so it's not like I'm going to even be around if you're here."

"Nah, man, I got that television movie next week," Drama reminded the three of them. He had been going on an on about the movie for weeks because he was going to be working on with one of those girls from _High School Musical_. He had failed to mention that he would be playing the starlet's father. "I couldn't go now even if I wanted to go."

Eric rolled his eyes at Vince, sharing a private moment like they always did when it came to the detriment of Drama and Turtle. "Yeah, Vince, you might as well count me out, too," he agreed. "Things are really busy at the agency. I don't really have time to get away right now."

None of these answers suited Vince at all. He was used to being the center of the group and having their lives dictated by his schedule. It might seem selfish, but he loved all the time that he got to spend with his friends. It was why he worked as hard as he did to build his career. "I can't believe that my two best friends and my big brother can't find time to spend a week with me," Vince pouted. Turtle looked up from his business textbook and shrugged while Drama mostly ignored him to add ingredients to the breakfast. It was only Eric that really seemed to take it seriously when Vince walked out of the kitchen.

He followed Vince out of the house and onto the deck. Vince was leaning over the railing of the porch, looking out over the sparkling city. The sun reflected off his sienna skin; he really was a living Adonis. "Hey, Vin, you okay?" Eric asked, causing Vince to only glance over his shoulder and shrug. Eric came over beside him and rested his hand on his back. "I know that being cooped up here is starting to get to you, and it's not that we don't want to go. We all would love to get out of here, but it's just a busy time right now. You're going to be starting on that new Mendes movie in a few weeks."

"It's not just that, E," Vince shook his head. "I know that we're together all the time, but I don't feel like we're all really together anymore. Ya know? I just wanted us to have a great week outside the city."

Vince sounded almost genuinely sad and that was enough to break E's fucking heart. "Alright, look, there is no way that Turtle or Drama can go right now, we're just going to have to accept that. I can probably rearrange my schedule and get away for a few days though. Where'd you want to go?"

"Italy." Vince hadn't been back there since he had wrapped the movie last year, the same summer where Eric had gotten engaged and then had his heart broken. The guys had come back the minute the film wrapped, only to find their friend on the downside of a month-long drinking binge. Other than going to work and calling his mother every Sunday like a dutiful son, Eric hadn't done much in their absence other than drink cheap tequila and expensive scotch. "You should have come with us last time. Why don't the two of us go back so you can see what you missed?"

And so, that was how Eric found himself now, sitting on a mezzanine and sipping a vintage Chianti with his best friend. They were about fifteen sheets to the wind at this point, appreciating the "bellos donnas" and the live music being played on the plaza below. However, it wasn't the beautiful women or the talented musicians that held Vince's attention; rather, he was completely focused on how happy his best friend was. Eric had even managed to pick up a tan and shed about twenty pounds of tension off his back in Italy, two things that were no easy feat by any stretch of the imagination.

Once they had finished dinner, Eric found himself being steered back toward their hotel. Vince's hand rested on the small of his back, and for a moment, they were just two ordinary guys visiting Italy. The residents of the small Tuscan town where they were staying didn't seem to care who Vince was. It had been a long time since he had been able to take a vacation that felt normal. Being here with E like this was the most normal feeling he could imagine, and maybe that was how his hand found Eric's on the way back to their suite.

Eric didn't say anything when Vince's fingers slipped through his. He just squeezed Vince's hand in response and smiled up at him sleepily. They stopped at a busy corner to wait for traffic, and Eric's head rested against Vince's shoulder. "This is nice," he murmured dreamily. Vince smiled in response and nodded, afraid to say too much in case it would wake Eric from his dreamy haze.

The truth was that this was exactly what Vince had in mind when he had asked the guys to go away with him. He knew that it would look strange if he asked just Eric to go with him, but he needed to get his best friend out of Hollywood. He had been waiting nine months to have this conversation with E, ever since the night when Eric had drunkenly kissed Vince after they'd seen Sloan out with a Gucci model at a premiere party. Something had woken up in Vince that night, but they hadn't talked about it since. Now that Vince was just a few weeks away from starting a project that he thought might change his career, he wanted to get his personal affairs in order and make certain that he had E by his side for the entire ride.

However, talking seemed to be the last thing on Eric's mind because as soon as they were in the elevator, he leapt on Vince hungrily. Even though he had at least six inches on Eric, Vince was rendered useless as E attacked him. He was pressed back against the wall of the lift, Eric's hands grasping everywhere as he attempted to swallow Vince whole. Vince couldn't do much other than sigh contently and give up control to Eric.

As quickly as he had been on Vince, though, Eric broke away and gathered himself enough to step off the elevator as if nothing had happened. He fumbled with the keycard nervously, his hands shaking so badly that Vince had to snatch it away to get the door open. When they were inside, Vince threw the card and his wallet on the counter before grabbing Eric by the lapels and pushing him back against the fridge. Eric started to protest but Vince silenced him with a kiss. "No thinking now, thinking later."

For the remaining six days of their trip, that became Vince's mantra. They spent their days shopping visiting museums and seeing the sites and their nights eating food, drinking wine and making love. Whenever Eric tried to sneak in a conversation about what it meant, Vince would shut him up with those five words and a long kiss.

Yet, it wasn't that easy when the plane touched down at LAX. The Santa Anas were still blowing, and it made Eric feel crazy again as soon as he stepped foot in Los Angeles. He couldn't reach for Vince's hand like he had all week to ground him. Instead, he had to hide behind his sunglasses until they were in the backseat of the dark SUV driven by Turtle. Vince could barely stand his twitchiness, so he threw his hoodie on the seat between them and reached for E's hand beneath the plush cotton fabric. Eric seemed to calm down a little as the other three fell into an easy conversation about the trip.

That night was the first time in a week that Eric had slept without Vince wrapped around him and it felt lonely. He thought about sneaking upstairs but then he'd have to get past Turtle's room and he had mentioned something about having to study for a test in the morning. He was too restless to just sleep though, so he decided to go outside to look at the night sky. Maybe some fresh air would get him centered again.

He probably should have been surprised to find Vince sprawled out on one of the loungers but he wasn't. The way he always seemed to end up wherever Vince was seemed to be innate at this point. He collapsed on the end of the wrought iron chair and looked up at Vince's bright blue eyes. "Couldn't sleep?"

"Missed you," Vince replied, reaching out to draw Eric back against his chest. It felt so natural that Eric couldn't help but wonder why they had waited so long to find it. "The winds always make me feel a little restless." Eric nodded against Vince before turning his face slightly to reach up for a kiss. "I wish we were back in Italy."

"Not me," Eric decided. "We have to figure this out eventually. We've waited a long time. I don't want to lose even another day with you, Vin."

That was all the conversation they needed to know that they were going to be together, long after the winds had died down and life had returned to normal. They talked for awhile and then made out a little and then just eventually fell asleep on the deck snuggled together. It was the best night's sleep Eric had probably had his entire life, with no alarm to wake him up or telephone to interrupt their intimacy or room service to bring their breakfast. It was just the two of them together...at least until Turtle burst out onto the deck with a confused, "What the fuck?!"


	21. Freedom

**Freedom.**

It was a month after Turtle had found them on the deck and just a week past that they had been together, but it somehow felt like the most permanent thing Vince had ever found. Every day was the same thing and yet something new at the same time. He was excited to discover all these tiny little details about Eric that previously only girlfriends had been privy to and relished in the glow that hadn't left E's face in exactly forty-three days. It was kind of perfect.

Being with Eric like this gave Vince a kind of freedom he had never known before. He finally felt like there was nothing left to hide, not that he had ever really been good at that before. It was just that he had hidden this part for so long from everyone, including himself. He never could have imagined that it would feel like this; if he had, he probably wouldn't have kept it tucked away for as long as he did. It was a crazy thing, finally living the life you think that you're meant to live.

Vince wasn't the only one who had embraced the newfound freedom openly. Eric had been open with Ari about it from the first day, going to the mattress to prove not only his loyalty but also his love for Vince. While the manager in him still kicked in from time to time, he managed to make sure that the boyfriend part always prevailed. That was the part of him that showed up the Sunday night of the Oscars, when Ari had tried to set Vince up on a date with a model-turned-starlet and Eric had only seen white anger burning behind his eyes.

"I don't give a fuck what you or Hollywood thinks, Ari," Eric said before kissing Vince soundly on the red carpet at the Academy Awards, sending off a flurry of camera flashes around them.

They had that cover from _Us Weekly_ framed in Eric's office at the agency. It accompanied the one they had shot for _The Advocate_ and another one from _Entertainment Weekly _on Hollywood's "New Power Couple." However, none of those professional photos found their way to the walls at home. No, those were reserved for snapshots of Eric and Vince hanging out with the guys and a special photo of them with their moms the night they came out in Queens. Hollywood might have accepted them, but that didn't even being to compare to the acceptance granted to them by their families.

And now, forty-three days later, Vince reaches for Eric's hand while waiting to cross the street on the way to Cartier, Drama and Turtle babbling on about some new video game as they trail not too far behind. It could have been any other Thursday afternoon at any point in their lives in Los Angeles, if not for the two of them holding hands. This was their sense of normal, and that was more liberating than anything.

True freedom for Vince Chase and Eric Murphy meant living their life just like they always had.


	22. Life

**Life.**

There had been a time when Vincent Chase had been a rising star in Hollywood, the guy with the supermodels on his arm that all the girls wanted to be with and all the guys wanted to be like. He had been comfortable being idolized because he was still just a guy from Queens at the end of the day, and whenever his head got too big, he had his boys to put him back in his place. He had come to California to make movies and meet girls; the rest of it had just come along once someone decided he was famous enough to be called a bonafide star. It was only after the money stopped rolling in and Hollywood forgot his name that he remembered that none of it really meant a thing.

His career had tried to recover after the mess that was _Medellin_, but when _Gatsby_ failed to garner critical or box office success, he was written off as another flash in the pan. He still had his paycheck from the Scorsese flick tucked away, so it wasn't like he was going to struggle any time soon. He had plenty of money to wait it out until the next script came along or while he decided whether he should go back to New York for a few weeks on stage. He was starting to miss public transportation, real bagels and cold weather – just a few of the genuine things he had never been able to find in California.

"E, maybe I should go back to New York for a few months," he suggested one night while they were sprawled out in the living room. Turtle was staying with Drama now that the boys had to downsize to a smaller house. It's just three bedrooms but still spacious and near the beach. "I'm not doing anything out here, and that producer is still after me to do his play. It'd be good to act again."

Eric looked up from his end of the sofa and shrugged nonchalantly. Whatever Vince wanted at this point, Eric would support. He just wanted to get him out of this house and back to work. It wasn't good for Vince's confidence to be cooped up all day, getting high and hooking up with whatever girl he happened to find on his way to the mailbox. "Yeah, sure, we could get back to the city for awhile if that's what you want."

Vince appreciated that Eric didn't even hesitate to agree to come with him. It was just assumed that he would pack up and head back to the East Coast if Vince left. They both knew that Vince had never been good at being alone, and the truth was that Eric didn't really know what to do with himself if he wasn't taking care of Vince. "What about the agency? We're kind of living off your salary, righ? I mean, I could get a draw from my savings to support us out there until I start making money."

"They have an office in New York, Vin, don't worry," Eric shook his head before changing the channel from some History Channel documentary to ESPN for a Mets game. "I promised you that I would take care of us until you figure it all out. I'm not in any hurry. I can do my job in New York just as well as I can do it here. That's why they have planes, right? Besides, you'd want to come back to see Johnny and Turtle, so you could come with."

Eric had done a great job of keeping Vince above water these past few months while he tried to figure out what he wanted to do with his career. When he had thought about doing that low-budget indie movie last month, Eric had been at every audition, practicing lines in whatever dingy little space the production company had managed to secure that day. When he had considered picking up a few foreign commercials, Eric had helped him narrow down the list of products and companies he was willing to promote. When he had been offered a few hundred grand to be on that reality competition show, Eric had been the one to agree that it was a bad idea, no matter what Ari tried to convince him. He wasn't sure of many things right now, but Eric Murphy was always going to be the best thing that ever happened to him.

"Do you ever miss the city, E?" Vince asked, hoping that Eric would confirm that he missed it terribly. It was the only way he could justify asking him for this, to give up the life he had so carefully built just for him. The thing that Vince didn't seem to get, the thing that Eric couldn't quite put into words, was that this life had been built around Vince. He was the center of everything for Eric. When he was off balance, they were both off balance.

"Sure, Vince, I miss it all the time," Eric lied. The truth was that he didn't really miss living in Queens because it wasn't home anymore. Home was wherever Vince was because other than his mother, Vince was the only thing Eric had ever really counted on. "Maybe if we go back, I could actually see some decent sports other than basketball."

Vince's eyes darted to the screen where the Mets were up by four in the bottom of the seventh. When Eric had started to cut corners, their satellite package was one of the few places where he stood his ground. Eric had to have his full sports package, complete with all the Madison Square Garden and New York channels that showed his hometown teams. It had quickly become one of their largest sources of entertainment.

"Come here," Vince demanded as David Wright hit a ball deep into the left field for a triple. Eric muted the screen as he sat up and leaned over the couch to meet Vince's lips. His pale fingers tangled in Vince's dark curls, humming contently. This was the other source of entertainment since they'd been enjoying in the new house. It was kind of Vince's favorite. "I want to go home."

"So we'll go home," Eric promised before kissing Vince again. "My boy will be a big hit on Broadway."

They leaned back again, only this time with Eric folded comfortably against Vince's lanky frame. Eric unmuted the television just in time for Barajas to take his turn at the plate. His other hand was entwined with Vince's against his abs, the whole thing so completely domestic that sometimes he still waited for Vince to freak out. But then he dropped a kiss on top of Eric's head and told him to turn it up and groaned at the 2-0 count. It was then that Eric was sure that everything was going to be just fine.


	23. Jealousy

**Jealousy.**

"Hello?"

"Ari just called, Vince. He said he saw Miss May with her hand half way down your pants in the VIP room at Les Deux. You do realize you're in public, right?"

"What, no hello? I didn't even know he was at Les Deux, E. Are you sure that he really saw me? Besides, I'm not even with Miss May! I'm pretty sure she was a Cyber Girl or something, not even in the magazine. And her hand is not down my pants, for the record. We were just dancing – completely innocently and in the middle of the dance floor. Turtle was around for fuck's sake."

"Kinda not the point, Vin. C'mon, you know the drill. You've got to act like you have some class in public. I don't mind you having a little fun, but I don't really want to start my day with another 6 a.m. wakeup call from New York when that hack writer wants to fact check your social calendar from the night before for Page Six."

"So don't answer, E, it seems pretty easy to me. Or just make up some story like you usually do. You know how to spin things pretty well. Hell, sick Shauna on 'em. They won't make the same mistake twice when she gets done with them. I'm pretty sure that so-called journalist from the Inquirer is still having nightmares over that shit they ran a couple months ago."

"Yeah, that was pretty funny. That guy from Us Weekly is still pretty jacked up after she reamed him last month for that writeup he did about you and Scarlett. Anyone who is anyone knows that you all have been friends for years. However, I can't say the same for you and this Playmate. Just tell me now, do I need to be ready for something?"

"E, I tell you everything. I know the rules. Do you really think that I am going to hide anything from you or that I would do that? Someone Ari knows probably saw someone that looks like me or saw us hanging out and assumed something was going on. I don't even know where that girl is at right now. I'm just hanging out, having drinks with my boys. You know, you could have come out with us tonight..."

"I told you that I have work to do, Vin. Unlike you, some of us actually have to put in hours to keep our careers going. Actually, I have to put in hours to keep _your_ career going."

"And I appreciate that, E, I do, but let's not pretend that I don't work long hours when I'm shooting. I pulled eighteen-hour days quite regularly on the Mendes film last year, and I'm expecting that I'll put in almost as many on this thing coming up. However, even with all of that, I still always manage to find time to spend with you and my boys."

"Alright, alright, enough with the guilt trip. This call wasn't about me being in trouble. It was about you and your little harlot."

"I don't know what you are getting all worked up about. Don't you trust me by now? You know the deal with me. Even if I flirt with the girls a little, you know that I'm always coming home at the end of the night with you, E."

"You better, you jackass. I have to watch people fawn over you all day. You live in the public eye, and I'm okay with that when the sun's out. But at night, that's supposed to be my time. I guess I'm just jealous that she gets to be with you tonight when I'm stuck here. However, you're right. I know that you'll be in my bed in a few hours. It's just that I am kind of in love with you, and I don't plan on sharing you with anyone."

"Now that's the E that I know and love. Put in another hour at the office. I'll have one more round with the guys and then beg off for an early meeting. I'll bring home this expensive bottle of champagne that someone sent over and we can have our own little private party in bed. What do you say?"

"I say that sounds like the best idea you've ever had."

"And I thought that kissing you after Ashton's birthday party was the best idea I ever had."

"Okay, second best idea. I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah, you'll see me soon. Love you, E."

"I love you, too, Vin. Hurry home.

_Click._


	24. Hands

**Hands.**

It should have been the time of their lives. The movie they had spent most of the past year making and the past three years chasing was finally premiering before the Hollywood elite at Cannes, no small feat by any measure of the word. However, what Eric had feared six months ago and Vince had tried desperately not to see had finally come to fruition, and their movie was officially panned by the critics, fans and industry professionals who had made it out for their screening. It was the disappointment of a lifetime, and it only pushed Eric and Vince further apart when they really needed each other most.

The two of them had decided to deal with it in very different ways. While Eric worked the crowds and did his best to secure his next big find, Vince lost himself in parties and being a celebrity. In fact, Vince had been drunk for most of the past week, and Eric had done his best to stay as far away from him as possible. It was clear that Vince didn't need Eric to be his conscious right now, and Eric couldn't stand to watch Vince destroy his life piece by piece. He still blamed himself for getting them in this situation in the first place. He had found the script, agreed to hire Billy and not fought hard enough when he realized how bad this was going to hurt Vince and his career.

It was only after Harvey proposed buying the movie that Eric started to believe they might actually be able to put the whole _Medellin_ disaster behind them. Although belligerent and incredibly obnoxious, Harvey knew how to turn cinematic trash into box office gold. With a few reshoots, a little editing and a lot of promotion, he seemed confident that he would be able to turn their failure into his success. The only problem was the low-ball offer the asshole had made just to poke at Eric and Vince.

"Come on, Eric, you know that your client needs this movie not to fail," Harvey leered at him. They were starting to draw attention in the bustling hotel lobby. It was supposed to be a lunch meeting to work out the deal but had mostly consisted of verbal abuse and berating. "Maybe if you had been fucking watching his back a little bit more instead of staring at his ass down there in Colombia, you wouldn't have to sell your little dream project for a dollar."

Eric had been quiet and calm for most of the lunch, but something in that comment set off the street kid still very much alive within him. He leapt across the table, grabbing the much larger man by the lapels. Fire blazed in his blue eyes as he drove the man across the lobby and shoved him against the wall. Harvey tried to struggle back, and for a minute, Vince was sure that the older man's weight advantage was about to work against E. However, Eric had always been scrappy and at the slightest hint of danger, he became a fury of fists. He landed a clean shot to Harvey's jaw before Vince finally decided to step in and pull him off.

"The deal is off, Harvey," Eric said, his voice eerily calm in the wake of the attack. "I don't give a fuck how much money I lose and what this does to my career. Nothing in the world is worth being associated with you on anything, even if it is a total fucking disaster."

He didn't even say another word before yanking hard on Vince's arm and pulling him out of the hotel after him. They were both quiet as they made their way through Cannes. Their heads were down, and for once, none of the tourists bothered them. Vince stayed closed to Eric, his eyes frozen on his best friend's swelling hand. It was only when they were back in their suite that he dared to even address Eric. He led E to a chair in the sitting room before disappearing into the kitchen so that he could start to tend to his wounds.

Vince held a cold compress to Eric's bloody knuckles as he looked up at him in wonder and said, "I still can't believe you punched out Harvey for me." Eric cracked a smile as he looked up at Vince and shrugged. "You know, you're the only guy who has ever fought for me. Remember that time in fourth grade when Mickey O'Doyle tried to steal the basketball from us at recess? You gave him a bloody nose and got suspended for three days. Man, you were grounded for like two months after that."

Eric's eyes lit up at the memory. "Yeah, and you used to sneak in my room every night after Ma had gone to bed," he laughed. "Man, we were stupid ass kids, huh? Your ass is the reason I got into that fight sophomore year with Lucas Rossi."

"I completely forgot about that asshole."

"Yeah, well, no one tells you that you have no talent and that you suck other than me," Eric declared, relaxing a little as Vince started to dab the blood away with a cotton pad. "I'm sorry I made a scene at the hotel, Vin. I shoulda kept my cool."

"You were just being protective, E, no worries," Vince assured him. There had been a time when he had worried about E snapping on someone just like he used to back in the old neighborhood. However, Eric had worked hard over the past few years to not be just the hothead fighter from Queens. "Besides, I think it's kind of romantic."

Eric smiled as Vince brought his battered knuckles up to his lips and kissed the rough skin gently. This was new but not completely unexpected. "Yeah?" he asked, his voice low and eyes hooded. Vince nodded silently as he entwined their hands between them. Eric looked at their interlocked fingers, the contrasts of bronze against pale white skin. "Maybe I should punch Harvey more often."


	25. Taste

**Taste.**

Vincent Chase sat across the table from his best friend and some girl named Katie. They were perfect for each other in that squeaky-clean, All-American, sickeningly wholesome kind of way. Vince's girl (Sara? Willow? Casey?) was a little more risque, with her four-inch stilletos and plunging neckline and her hand making its way up his thigh. His breath was caught in his throat, though it wasn't because of the beautiful woman whose name he couldn't quite remember (Emily? Skye? Kara?). It was because of the patch of auburn hair peaking up from Eric's crisp white shirt, the crinkly lines he got when he smiled and the way that his blue eyes hadn't left Vince for more than a few seconds all night.

"So you guys grew up in Queens?" Katie asked. Her voice was tinged with a New England accent, the kind that came with a pedigree and trust fund. Eric's own voice was straight out of Queens. "That must have been interesting."

"It was great," Eric grinned, his eye catching Vince's again. Their childhood hadn't been one that most mothers would pick for their children, but Vince wouldn't trade it for anything. He had grown up the center of attention in a huge family and as the taller half of the tightest duo in all of New York. For his part, Eric had been the apple of both his mother and Vince's eye. "Even though we've been in LA for eight years, New York is always going to be home."

"You miss it then?"

Her question was directed to Eric, but Vince answered instead. They'd been like that their whole lives. What happened to one happened to the other. Very few people understood that. Even fewer were able to put up with it. "Oh, yeah, definitely, but we try to get back as much as we can. We spent last summer there when I was filming _Gatsby_. We'll probably go back next month for E's mom's birthday. Ma always counts on it, doesn't she, E?"

Eric nodded thoughtfully before glancing up at his date. Katie was a nice girl, exactly the type that Eric usually went for and precisely the kind he wanted to marry. He was determined to try to make this work. It was the only way he was ever going to get over... No, he told himself that he wouldn't think about it. Instead, he smiled at Katie again and reached for her hand on the table. "Do you want to share dessert?"

The question struck a peculiar chord in Vince. He knew immediately it was E's way of putting distance between them. If he wanted to play that way, Vince had to get his head in the game. He turned to his date (Veronica? Jessica? Ali?) and batted his long eyelashes at her. It was his go-to move, guaranteed to make all the girls swoon. It only took a few more moments before his hand was sliding in her hair to bring her in for a kiss. He still couldn't get used to flavored lip gloss again after the taste of Eric's mint chapstick.

Vince pulled back, making his eyes linger on the girl (Chasity? Maya? Lindsey?) a moment longer before looking back at Eric. He could see the hurt and anger in his best friend's blue eyes. He felt bad for a moment before remembering that Eric had insisted on this distance between them. "Do you want to get out of here?" he asked the girl. She (Amber? Jordana? Eliza?) nodded coyly before sliding out of the booth. Vince dropped a few large bills on the table. "It was nice meeting you, Katie. We'll have to do this again some time."

Katie smiled politely and nodded. Eric, on the other hand, frowned angrily. Vince's girl (Sage? Cassidy? Melody?) started toward the front door before Eric slid out of the booth to follow after them. "Vince, wait." It was a command, not a request. Vince stopped in the dim hallway, not even bothering to call out to his date. He thought briefly how he really needed to figure out her name (Jasmine? Anya? Hilary?) before Eric was pushing him back against the wall, just behind a door and out of the sight of anyone who happened to be walking by. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Going home with my date."

"What's her name?"

"Ummm...."

"That's what I thought," Eric shook his head sadly. "Don't use her to get back at me. I know you're mad that I asked you to come out with Katie and me. I just wanted you to meet her. Even if you and me are...look, I still care what you think."

Vince bent his head close to Eric's. "You more than care what I think. Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Come home with me. You ditch Katie, I'll ditch whatsername, we could be in my bed in twenty minutes. C'mon, E, you know you want to come home with me."

Eric definitely wanted to go home with Vince, but that didn't mean that he was going to do it. "No, Vin, we've talked about this. It's over. It has to be."

"It doesn't have to be. You just want it to be."

"I never said that."

And that was precisely the moment Vince knew that he had an in. Eric didn't want it to be over, and as long as that remained true, he had a chance. Vince reached down and cupped Eric's waist before pulling him flush against his lanky body. "Come home with me. Make love to me. Be with me. Just me."

Forty-five minutes later, Eric laid next to Vince, staring up at the ceiling fan spinning over his bed. They had mostly just kissed since they'd gotten home, the exchanges interrupted by conversation and breathy promises. There would probably be another night and another girl for Eric, maybe even Vince, but they both wanted this to work. They needed for this to work. Vince didn't want to have to forget the taste of Eric's lips again.

"Andrea."

Vince turned on his side and looked at Eric. "Huh?"

"That girl's name was Andrea."


	26. Devotion

**Devotion.**

Eric had never had a girlfriend that wasn't jealous of his relationship with Vincent Chase. It was hard to be the most beautiful person in any room if you were sharing it with Vince, and Eric had never exactly been immune to the force of gravity of being in his best friend's universe. However, it wasn't just Eric that was impacted by the pull of being around Vince; in fact, Eric was the very center of the solar system as far as Vince was concerned. The longest relationship that either of them would ever know was the one they had with each other, whether it was business or friendship or something more.

Ashley was supposed to be the girl Eric used to get over Sloan, but in reality, she was a lot more than that. She was a distraction from the static that had been between himself and Vince since their fight in Queens and the long summer that followed. He had felt like he'd been through a breakup by the time September had come, and it wasn't something that had gone unnoticed by the other guys. Even Vince knew that this fight had been different, and he had done everything he could to make amends with E. It hurt his feelings that Ashley was the one that brought him out of it, the one who had finally put a smile on his best friend's face.

"Vince, I'll call you later," Eric called as he started toward the garage, his BlackBerry buzzing with unanswered calls. Vince followed him close behind, not relenting in his pursuit. He wanted to hang out with his best friend, a guy who hadn't seemed to have time for him lately after spending most of the last two decades being completely accessible to Vince. "I promised Ashley I would meet her for a late breakfast and then I have to go meet with Ari about your contract. We might be able to work out an early dinner. I'll have to check my schedule and get back to you."

"No."

Eric started to argue with Vince until he saw the seriousness in his eyes. "What's up, Vin?" Vince reached for Eric's ringing BlackBerry and pushed the end button. It started to ring again immediately. For a guy that rarely lost his cool, the shrill blare of the phone was enough to push him over the edge and throw the phone across the room. Eric watched as the pieces of plastic flew across the tile floor.

Vince sank to the floor and pulled his knees up to his chin. Eric couldn't see his face through the mess of curls as he knelt down beside him carefully. "C'mon, Vince, talk to me," Eric implored. He was worried. Vince never lost his temper. He was patient to a fault, even with his self-centered ways. Eric reached up and pushed back the curls tenderly. It had been a long time since he had allowed himself to touch Vince like this, not since that night their senior year of high school after Vince's dad had laid into him and nearly broken his jaw. "What's going on?"

"I'm losing my best friend." It sounded childish but there were no other words for how he felt. He was lost and had been lost for quite some time. "E, what's happening to us?"

"I don't know, Vin." He hadn't wanted to see it but he couldn't lie about it either. Things hadn't been okay since that day in the street, no matter how hard they had tried to make it better. "I feel like I broke up with the love of my life last summer, and no matter how hard we try to reconcile, we still have that fight between us."

"And Ashley is what, the rebound girl?"

Eric cracked a smile and ducked his head sheepishly. Vince probably knew him better than he knew himself. Eric definitely got Vince better than anyone. "What do you say I cancel breakfast and this meeting and we spend the day around the house?" E was sitting next to him now, their backs pressed against the fridge. Vince leaned his head uncharacteristically on Eric's shoulder and murmured his agreement. Eric reached up and patted Vince's curls, any thought of Ashley and Ari long gone. "What do you want to do?"

"Just sit like this for awhile," Vince mumbled sleepily. Eric closed his eyes and listened to Vin's shallow breath. It was a small moment but a "click" moment where things fell into place and E realized what the hell he had been missing for so long. He leaned his head against Vince's and sighed. "E, you know you're more than just my best friend, right?" Eric nodded but didn't bother replying. It just was what it was. "I've missed you."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Vince said softly. "Just don't do it again."

"I won't."

"I know," he retorted, and Eric believed him. It wasn't this big romantic moment. There was no kiss or even any affection to it. It was just a quiet comfort that came after twenty-five years of living in sync. What one felt resonated with the other. "You're gonna break up with Ashley, right?"

Eric laughed softly. "I probably should, yeah."

"Good, I'm kind of tired of being jealous of her," Vince chuckled. "I still don't get how a girl like her lands a guy like you. Then again, I don't get how a guy like me landed a guy like you."

"I'm not sure either," Eric replied with a laugh, knowing that most people would see both situations quite the opposite. However, it was never that Eric felt like he wasn't good enough for Vince. It was the other way around. Eric felt like a god in Vince's eyes, and Vince worked very hard to make sure he was worthy of the adoration that Eric gave him so freely.

"This is nice," Vince whispered.

"Yeah," Eric agreed. "It's just about perfect."


	27. Forever

**Forever.**

Three years into the relationship, and Vince still isn't sure why Eric is with him. He's the kind of guy who could get anyone he wanted, with a successful career as a manager of the Hollywood elite, a generous spirit and a compact, tight body that caught quite a few eyes. Still, through the ups and downs, Eric had stayed by Vince's side and had been happy to be his other half. He had clapped louder than anyone when Vince had won the Oscar after _Gatsby_, cheered harder than anyone when he took the Globe home the next year for a small indie film that had barely registered at the box office and cried more than anyone when Vince had thanked him first both times.

Vince had set out to become a star thirteen years ago when he came out to Los Angeles. He was determined to live a better life than the one his mom had put up with when he was growing up in Queens and felt it was his job to give the same to his friends and Johnny. Now that they were all doing well on their own, Vince was starting to feel his responsibility wane. He was still at the top of the Hollywood game, but the drive wasn't there like it was before. He didn't crave the attention, need the money, want the girls or look forward to the toys. He was perfectly happy to be at home curled up with Eric on the couch, watching the Knicks and drinking beer.

It had taken him a long time to reach this point, but he was finally sure that this is what he wanted to do. He hadn't talked to anyone about his plan. The truth was that he was kind of scared to make a big change. The only one he had really made since he had come out to L.A. was finally admitting that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Eric has his partner and not just his best friend. Other than that, he had left the big choices up to E and trusted that things would work out. While he still had faith that everything would end up okay, he didn't really know what that would look like. He just knew that it was probably the right choice.

"I was all in the minute I followed you out to California, Vin," Eric said one night in bed, "so of course I'm gonna roll the dice with you one more time."

It had taken a lot of courage to tell Eric that he wanted to leave Los Angeles and his film career behind, but Vince was ready to go home. He was ready to be a New Yorker again and make a name for himself on stage. Their mothers weren't getting any younger, and Vince was getting more serious about starting a family with Eric. He wanted to raise their children closer to family.

"Are you sure, E? I know that you love working at the agency. It's not really fair to ask you to give everything up just because I want to make a change," Vince acknowledged. The biggest thing he had learned from Eric over the past few years was how to be less selfish. He had always been generous with some things, but he had finally learned what it was like to share a life with someone. "If this isn't what you want, I can probably do some stage work here. It's not New York, but there are a lot of things here."

Eric knew that Vince would never be taken seriously if he started his theater career in California. He also knew that he didn't have to work another day in his life if he didn't want to work. He would find something in New York that suited them both. If nothing else, he could be a stay-at-home dad while Vince was working on Broadway and still manage a few people from the East Coast.

"I'm sure, Vin," Eric agreed, rolling onto his side to look down at his partner. Vince was a beautiful man with an even more beautiful heart. "Who's going to break it to Turtle, though? I mean, I'm still not convinced he knows what to do without you."

"There will always be room for Turtle wherever we end up," Vince said, and Eric nodded with a small smile in agreement. The four of them – Vince, Eric, Turtle and Johnny – were a family in every sense of the word. There was nothing that mattered more than their friendship; it mattered even more than the romantic relationship between Vince and Eric. "Besides, I think he'll be okay. He's going to graduate soon, and Ari promised to help him get set up with a few labels. Drama is still out here, so the two of them will have each other." Vince was quiet for a moment, his eyes fluttering shut as Eric traced his fingertips over Vince's smooth skin. "Do you think that people will think I'm giving up?"

Eric thought for a moment. It was rare that Vince cared what anyone thought about him outside their tight circle, but it was clear that this had weighed heavily on Vince's mind for some time. "Hey, look at me," he ordered gently. Vince peered up through his dark lashes. "You have done everything that we always dreamed of when we were kids. You worked with the big names, won the awards, made the money, got the fame. Who gives a fuck if anyone thinks you gave up? We know better. This was never going to be our forever, Vin. It was just a pit stop on the way to the life we always wanted to have. It may not look like you thought it was going to look, but we're still living the dream."

Vince reached up and held Eric's hand over his heart. "It's better than I could have ever imagined," he said meaningfully, needing for E to get that this was – that they were – more than he ever thought he deserved. "I think we'll be pretty happy in Manhattan. We can get a townhouse and start looking into adoptions like we wanted. Maybe look for a house in the Hamptons in the summer and keep a place out here for the winter. We'll still have to come back and see the guys, right?"

"Hell yeah we're gonna have to come back here. How long do you think your brother and Turtle are going to last without us here? I bet they call for bail money within the first month," Eric wagered, causing Vince to laugh and relax a little. "I promise you that I'm going to make sure you get everything that you ever wanted, Vin. It's my job, remember?"

Vince allowed to Eric kiss him before nodding his reply. A decade ago, they had stood in the kitchen while Vince licked brown sugar from his fingertip and agreed that Eric would make all his choices for him. He had make sure that Vince's dreams came true, and in more ways than they had ever planned, their dreams had come true together. Vince had no idea what forever looked like, but if it looked anything like the past, it was going to be a beautiful life.


	28. Blood

**Blood.**

Vince pricked his forefinger and pressed it to E's when they were six years old, entwining their fates for the rest of their lives.

They were sitting on the floor of the bedroom Vince shared with three of his older brothers, huddled in the darkness away from the fighting. Rita had been going for at least three rounds with his father, and neither of them showed any signs of giving up soon. Vince hated when his parents fought, but Eric always tried to distract him. He'd been doing that a lot lately, entertaining him when they yelling got to be too loud.

"You can't tell anybody, E," Vince pleaded, his eyes wild and desperate. No one could know that his father had pushed him. It was his job to be a man and keep it a secret. If anyone knew, they could come and take him away from his parents. "Please, you have to promise me. You can't even tell your ma. You have to keep my secret."

Even at the ripe age of six, Eric knew that this wasn't the kind of thing you were supposed to keep a secret. Mrs. Pollock had talked about what they were supposed to do if they thought their friend was being abused, and if the bruise on Vince's arm was any sign, his best friend was in trouble. "Maybe if we told my parents, you could come live with us," Eric suggested. He always wanted a brother, and Vince was already his best friend. They shared everything, and Eric's parents loved Vince. "You wouldn't even have to share a room. I bet Ma would let you stay in the guest room."

"Ma would be sad if I left, E," Vince reminded him. He didn't want to admit that he would be sad if he has to leave his mother. He wanted to protect her from his father. She kept promising someday that he would escape all this. Sometimes he dreamt of being an actor in movies like Paul Newman in that one he'd seen one time on cable at E's house. "Besides, you'd get sick of me if I was around all the time."

"Nah, you're my best friend," Eric shrugged. He couldn't imagine ever getting tired of Vince being around. He could spend a whole week's worth of nights there before Mrs. Murphy thought about sending him home. Vince seemed to thrive on the attention his parents gave him. It was hard to get lost in the shuffle around Eric's house, while it seemed to be an everyday occurrence in the Chase household. "Look, I'll promise you that I won't tell anyone, but I still want us to be brothers."

Vince looked around his room and wondered what was so good about siblings. He had a lot of them and didn't really care much for most of them. They just seemed to get in the way and were always making fun of him for being a pretty boy. He was also the baby in the family, which meant that he got blamed for everything. "Well, I already have a lot of those, E," Vince decided. "We can be blood brothers, instead! Those are even better because we get to pick those. It just means that you're my best friend and stuff. It connects us for life. Bobby Harper asked me to be his blood brother, but I said no 'cause I only wanted to do that with you. Besides, his mom buys the cheap candy."

Eric did always have the best sweets at his house, with the expensive name brand candy and homemade desserts. His mom always had warm cookies or sweet pudding or something equally yummy waiting when they got home from school. He didn't really see a need to be Vince's blood brother, but it was fine with him. He had never had a friend like Vince before. "Alright, so what do we do?"

Scrambling across the floor, Vince headed for the bulletin board bolted to the back of his door and stole one of the tacks currently keeping up his older brother's car calendar. "I think we're supposed to poke ourselves and mix our blood or something." It sounded stupid when he said it aloud, but Bobby had assured him that was how it was done.

Eric took the pin and stabbed his index first before handing it over to Vince. He'd never been a fan of needles. His mom still had to bribe him like a baby with ice cream when he had to get a shot at the doctor. His hand was shaking as he pressed the piece of metal against his skin. "Vince, we don't have to," Eric assured him. He knew about Vince's fear. "Let's just forget it. We can still be brothers."

"No," Vince insisted admently. He pressed the tack against his pointer finger again. Eric sensed his need to do this, instinctive about Vince's needs even at six. He moved a little closer and rested his knee against Vince's just to remind him he was there. Vince smiled bravely before piercing his skin. Red bubbled to the surface as E reached for his hand and pressed their fingers together. "See, now we're brothers."

Eric laughed and nodded as he examined their entwined fingers. "Do you got any bandages?"

"Yeah, I think my mom got some G.I. Joe ones at Safeway," Vince said, dropping his hand before scampering off to the bathroom.

More than twenty-five years later, they are sitting side by side in Vince's bedroom again, this one much larger and 3,000 miles away on the Pacific Ocean. Eric's hand is bloody from punching a guy at a club who wouldn't let up on Vince, flesh-tone bandages across his knuckles. The guy had been in Vince's personal space all night and had pushed him a little hard by the bar. Eric might not have been able to protect him when they were six, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let anyone hurt him now. He had carried that secret for too long, and now that he could fight back, no one was going to hurt his boy.


	29. Sickness

**Sickness.**

Addiction ran in Eric's family. His father's demon had been booze – beer as soon as he got off work and scotch when he really didn't want to feel anything. Eric had learned to make a scotch neat by the time he was six and didn't know what it was like to have a family dinner not littered with Budweiser bottles. His sense of normalcy was seriously askew in comparison to other people, like Turtle's devoutly Jewish father who made it to temple every week and made the family follow old traditions on holy days. The only person that ever really seemed to understand what it was like to grow up with a sick father was Vince, and there were times that Eric wasn't even sure that he could understand.

Eric's mom decided that the family finally needed to get help after his father had his heart attack. Eric was in sixth grade, and Mrs. Chase had come to pick him up one afternoon during art class. Vince's eyes had been wide with fear when Eric was called out of class by his mother. E returned a moment later to retrieve his backpack and his best friend so that they could go to the hospital. After that awful night, E's dad has promised that he was going to try better. The guy at Al-Anon told Eric and his mother that his father's addiction was a disease, and years later, that's the only way to explain Eric's obsession with Vince.

His father had officially been sober for twenty years now, and Eric and Vince had flown back to Queens for the party his ma was throwing to commemorate the anniversary. There was a collection of poker chips in the top drawer of his father's desk. They used to fascinate E when he was younger, each color representing a different period of time and a different duration of sobriety. His favorite had been the white one his dad had gotten after being sober for twenty-four hours. It was Eric's now, tucked in an old wooden cigar box in his bottom drawer.

Vince had gone with Eric to pick out a gift back in Los Angeles before they'd made the trip home. His mom had made a few suggestions but nothing seemed right. Finally, Eric had settled on a silver poker chip engraved with his father's sobriety date and the family's initials. There was another replica for himself and a smaller one on a pendant chain for his mother. His father's alcoholism had been a family disease, and his recovery had been a family healing process. Eric always knew that he was one of the lucky kids, one whose father loved him enough to want to get better. Vince hadn't been so lucky. That's why he wanted him there now. Vince was an honorary Murphy and had gone to Al-Anon more than a few times with Eric and his mom. He had been part of the recovery in his own way. He belonged there.

Eric had been afraid that his father was going to drink again when he came out to his parents last year. He had never been so scared of anything in his life. It had been hard enough admitting to himself that he was in love with Vince, let alone telling the rest of the world that this innate thing that he had tried to deny was never going to go away. It wasn't normal for an Irish Catholic kid from Queens to love his best friend, but that's the hand life had dealt him.

He hadn't really been ready to deal with it the first time he realized that he might possibly love Vince. He had been working his way through junior college at Sbarro's, studying on his breaks and falling asleep on his feet most nights. His only escape had been frequent phone calls from Vince, who always had some new tale to tell him about someone he had met or a place they'd been or something he tried. Eric looked forward to those phone calls because they were the only time he didn't miss his best friend. It was the only time he wasn't so overwhelmingly sad. He felt connected and whole.

He still felt like that a decade later, with Vince at his side in the formal dining room at his Aunt Claire's house. Everyone was a little enamored by the movie star, at least those who weren't used to his presence at every Murphy holiday for the past two decades. Eric's mom had told his cousins to quit gossiping more than a few times, and E had told his uncles to quit asking Vince about which starlets he had hooked up with before he'd gotten tied down to their nephew. Most people in his family weren't exactly supportive of Eric being out and proud, but his ma had threatened everyone thoroughly enough that they would keep their mouth shut.

"Does anyone else have anything they would like to say?"

Eric was about to push his chair back when he heard the seat next to him slide across the wood floor. Vince stood up and held his goblet in the air as he looked at the Murphys fondly. "For those of you who do not know me, I'm Vince, Eric's partner. I first met him when I was six years old, and over the years, I'm pretty sure I spent more nights at his house than my own," he told the hushed crowd. Vince smiled as he looked down at Eric for a moment before returning his attention to his parents. "Twenty years ago, I was a scared twelve-year-old following my mom down a hallway at a hospital in Queens. I was so afraid of hospitals, but not Eric. He was brave and confident, marching ahead of us as we made our way to visit his dad after he had that heart attack. Eric's faith in his father was contagious, and I'd like to think that's a big reason his dad got sober."

Mr. Murphy smiled at his biological son and then his adoptive one. He was proud of both his boys, just like his wife was. They were good sons. "I've been fortunate to grow up as part of that family, and I know how amazing it has been to be part of all this. I've never seen two people love each other as much as E's ma and pops. In a weird way, I owe everything to Pops' sobriety. Without it, I probably wouldn't have this family and more importantly, I wouldn't have his son." Vince's eyes connected with E's father. "From the bottom of my heart, thank you for giving me these past 20 years with your family and with your son. Congratulations."

Tears were falling from E's mom's eyes as she leaned over and kissed her husband's cheek. Eric had tears in his own eyes as he stood up and kissed Vince squarely in front of his entire family. Vince chuckled against E's mouth as he slipped his arms around him and returned the kiss.

Addiction might run in E's family and Vince might just be his drug of choice, but Vince was more than willing to indulge his habit. Call it enabling, call it co-dependency, call it whatever you want – the whole thing went both ways. It was a sickness, one that they both knew would never be healed. Their addiction to each other was terminal, and Eric finally understood what The Smiths meant when they said, "To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die."


	30. Melody

**Melody.**

It's some time after 3 a.m. when the sound wakes Eric, leaving him scrambling for the prized electronic device on his bedside table. Gone are the days of his BlackBerry or a television remote; instead, he retrieves the baby monitor from the nightstand as he sits up in the dark. The other side of the bed has been abandoned and he can make out a sliver of light in the hallway. Wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand, Eric leans against the headboard and closes his eyes.

"_Have I ever told you how good it feels to hold you? It isn't easy to explain."_

Vince's beautiful baritone voice greets him in the darkness, reminding of him Saturdays in Queens when they used to drive his dad's old beater around after whatever party or hookup had happened that night. They had worn out more than a couple Ramones cassettes on those streets, and that song had always been one of Vince's favorites. It had been ages since Eric had heard him sing it but he is happy to welcome the surprisingly lovely soundtrack to their childhood.

He can almost hear the smile in Vince's voice as he works his way through the first verse a capella. Eric's mom used to sing the very same song in their tiny kitchen when she would make coffee on Sunday mornings. Her version had more soul, taken from the Ronettes in the early sixties when music was still music, according to her. However, it was the version by the original boys from Queens that Eric and Vince had loved. While it wasn't usually anyone's favorite Ramones song, it held a special place in their hearts. It represented a very specific moment in time for them, and that kind of memory couldn't begin to compare to most other songs.

"_Baby, I love you. Come on, baby. Baby, I love you. Baby, I love, I love only you."_

Peeling back the down comforter, Eric rubs his read hair tiredly as he makes his way down the hall. Vince's voice grows slightly louder but remains fairly soft and steady. He can make out his swaying shadow against the pale wall toward the end of the hallway. It was a familiar sight, one Eric was used to by now. This wasn't the first time he had woken up at 3 a.m. alone, only to hear Vince signing this very song. It always makes him wish that he could carry a tune, but tone deafness was just another Murphy trait he had inherited along with with pale Irish skin and a strawberry allergy.

Eric leans against the door jamb and takes in what he now considers to be the most beautiful sight in the world. Vince has his back to Eric, Katherine Chase Murphy resting contently in his arms. Kate loves the sound of Vince's signing voice more than anything in the world, even more than those creepy Wiggles guys or creamed peas. At six months old, she is already the center of their universe and perhaps the biggest surprise of their life.

"_I can't live without you. I love everything about you. I can't help it if I feel this way."_

Watching Vince sing to their daughter in the nursery, Eric still can't help but think he would have been an amazing Joey Ramone. If only Bob Ryan hadn't hated Ari so much, Vince's dream project probably would have come true. However, if he had, things could be completely different and there would be no Kate. There might not even be a Eric and Vince. Eric smiles as he thinks about how life works itself out sometimes thanks to fate's intervention.

He moves further into the room now as he so often does, sitting on the glider so that he can listen to Vince finish the song. This is now their most-used room in the house. They barely make it down to the den to play golf or watch games anymore. Instead, they end up having slumber parties in Kate's nursery, preferring to watch _Bambi_ and play with the soft blocks Rita send from Queens a few weeks back.

"_Oh, I'm so glad I found you. I want my arms around you. I love to hear you call my name."_

Vince turns slightly and catches sight of Eric in the corner of the room. It's the same slow and easy smile that has caused millions of women all over the world to fall for the superstar, but it's reserved only for Eric. He can't believe sometimes that he is actually in love with the pretty boy, his best friend from childhood who he never even considered until a few years ago. Now, even the sight of his blue eyes can catch in Eric's throat sometimes and he still gets butterflies nearly every time they kiss.

Eric watches Vince cross the room until he is next to Eric on the small couch. He shifts Kate so that she is between them and he can rest his head on E's shoulder. It's so domestic and comfortable, a tiny little family moment that the paparazzi would kill to witness. Eric can hear sirens in the distance but they are quickly drown out by Vince's voice. His fingers work their way down to fix Kate's fuzzy blanket around her chin.

"_Oh, tell me that you feel, tell me that you feel, tell me that you feel the same."_

Eric smiles in the darkness at the lyric, remembering when Vince uttered something very similar late one night when they both finally came to terms with how they felt about each other. The memory makes him lay an absent kiss on Vince's curls and snuggle closer to his husband. He covers Vince's hands on where they hold their daughter. The three of them are in perfect sync, living life as they always do in unison.

Kate's breathing is steady now, fast asleep and ready to be laid back down. Vince stands up slowly and makes his way over to her white wooden crib and settles her in for a few more hours. Eric is beside him, peaking down at their daughter in amazement of her sheer perfection. Vince reaches down for his hand and tugs him down the hallway toward their bedroom, still humming the melody under his breath.

"_Baby, I love you. Come on, baby. Baby, I love you. Baby, I love, I love only you."_


	31. Star

**Star.**

"So that's it?"

"That's it," Eric confirmed. He looked at the stack of bills in disappointment, unsure how a decade of hard work had led them to this point. They were broke, every last dime lost because of some shit business manager they'd found after Marvin retired last year. Eric blamed himself, not Vincent, for trusting the guy. He should have followed his instincts, but instead, he'd gone with what Vince wanted. Eric knew better than that. Vince was all heart, while Eric lived inside his head. It was his job to make sure that they had the right balance.

Vince cradled his head in his hands and looked down at his scruffy tennis shoes. "Alright, we have like $1,000 in the safe upstairs. That's enough to buy two tickets back to New York. We can stay at your mom's house while she is in Florida," he decided. Eric had suggested it two months ago when things had first started to go south, but Vince had been too proud then. His pride was gone now. It was more important to make sure that E was taken care of and that they had somewhere to live. "I'll call Ari when we get there and see if he can find me something in New York. I can do commercials or get a play."

Eric hated that Vince's career was going to take several giant leaps backward because he hadn't been paying attention. "No, I'll get a job managing a restaurant or something. Antonio still has stake in Sbarro, I'm sure he'll hook me up with something," he argued. There was no way he was going to let Vince take the fall.

"Hey, c'mon, E," Vince said softly. He reached for Eric's hand and enveloped it tightly in his. "This is not your fault any more than it is mine. We had no way of knowing that Victor was going to end up in some huge fraud scheme. We're not the only people he screwed. It doesn't matter, anyway. We always said that we didn't need any of this. So we go back to Queens, who cares? I always kind of wondered what it would be like for us to be there anyhow. Let's just go home."

The smile playing on Vince's face was nothing short of brilliant, and even more importantly, it was completely genuine. The whole situation didn't shake Vince to his core like it did Eric. He truly was happy as long as he had E by his side. When the bright lights fade and Hollywood has forgotten his name, Vince will be happy to know that he will still be the leading man in E's life. "I love you, Vin."

"I know you do, you big sap," Vince teased before leaning over to kiss Eric. Now let's go pack up the few things that they can't take away from us and get the hell out of this town. I've had enough of Hollywood for awhile."

And so Eric follows Vince upstairs and packs his life's contents into a pair of small suitcases. They are at the airport within the hour and in New York in just under seven. The air is cooler in New York, with spring just finally arriving in early May. They ride from JFK out to Queens, and Eric lets himself into his childhood home with the key his mom keeps hidden under the fake rock on her porch. Vince smiles nostalgically at a framed picture of Eric at eleven while Eric starts coffee in the kitchen.

"We should probably call our moms at some point," Eric says to no one in particular while looking for his favorite mug in the top cabinet.

Vince leans in the doorway and watches him work, reading the tension in his hunched shoulders and wishing that he could ease it away with a touch or a kiss. Vince hadn't said it earlier but now he suddenly can't wait to say the words. He crosses the tiny kitchen and drops a kiss on the side of Eric's neck. "Love you."

Vince's arms slide around Eric's waist and hold him there at the counter just long enough to feel the onslaught of Eric breaking down. E turns around in Vince's arm and buries his face in his partner's shirt. He keeps apologizing over and over again, all the guilt rising to the surface. Vince soothes him until he hears Eric utter three little words, "I failed you."

"You didn't fail me, E," he says almost angrily, pulling back just enough so that he can look into those familiar blue eyes. "I wouldn't have had any of that if it wasn't for you, but that's not important. I don't need those things. I need you. You're the only thing I need. We'll figure this out, we always do. You'll take care of me, I'll take care of you. That's how it works, right? The only way you could ever fail me is if you gave up on us."

They both knew that would never happen, not if they had made it this far without killing each other. So they did what they had to do. Eric managed to find a job working at an agency thanks to a friend of Ari's and Vince picked up a six-week stint at a small play off Broadway. They lived off cheap takeout from the Thai place around the corner from E's mom's house when they wanted to eat out, but Eric tried to cook something most nights. Vince even did their laundry a few times when there wasn't enough money to send it out.

And then as quickly as it fell apart, the hands of fate intervened again and Vince landed a big romantic comedy opposite Natalie Portman that just happened to be shooting in Manhattan. Eric stayed at the agency until Vince received his first payment then camped out on set to network as much as possible and find the next big role. They'd eat lunch together in Vince's trailer while they ran lines and would go back to the house at night as they talked about their day. It was a nice little life, a far cry from the first go around.

"So that's it?" Vince asked nearly six months to the day from when he had first realized he didn't have a dollar to his name. He looked down at the contract and grinned, his bold signature scrawled across the dotted line. "We own the house, our debts are paid and you have a Mercedes. It's like none of this happened."

"We have a loft, a Volkswagen and a zero balance on the Amex card. It's hardly like nothing happened, but it'll do," Eric declared. He leaned back and allowed Vince to wrap his arm around him. It was the third time they'd gone from poor to rich, and Eric hadn't really missed the money all that much. "Ready for bed?"

"Yeah," Vince said. He stood up and stretched before grabbing their empty plates to put them in the kitchen sink. It had been spaghetti tonight, an E specialty. It had probably cost less than five dollars to make and tasted better than anything he'd ever had at a fine Italian restaurant. Life was kind of like that now – simple but content. He was still a leading man to Eric and that made him the biggest fucking star in the universe. Not bad for a guy from Queens.


	32. Home

**Home.**

"When things get too serious, they send in the clown."

Vince looked up from the book in his lap and stared blankly at his old friend. Turtle had often been the comic relief in their group, but he could do little to cheer Vince on this particular day. "What are you doing here?" He knew the question was cold but that was his intention. He didn't want to talk to anyone, especially Turtle. His friend knew him way too well.

Turtle took off his hat and rubbed his head anxiously. The last thing he wanted to do was play peace keeper, but someone had to do something. It was obvious whose side Ari was taking, and Johnny was Vince's older brother. Turtle cared about both of them too much to take a side, which meant that Eric was on his own. Vince probably thought he still had Sloan keeping his bed warm back in sunny Los Angeles. He had no idea what had happened since they left.

"He wants to talk to you," Turtle attempted. That was really the only reason he was here. Eric hadn't been able to reach him for days, and his only comfort had been found in the bottom of a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue. Turtle had found him in Vince's room, clutching his Oscar from the movie where he'd played Enzo Ferrari and wearing Vince's favorite Ramones shirt. "Vin, E's not doing good. Just call him. Talk to him. I know that you are missing him just as much as he misses you."

He doesn't need to tell his friend about the nights where he'd cried himself to sleep because he missed Eric that fucking much. Turtle doesn't need to know about the long talks he'd had with his ma about his best friend or the evenings he'd spent in a dark room just remembering. He left all that behind in California. That was why he took the first flight he could find back to Queens when Eric told him that he just can't do this anymore.

"I do miss him." Turtle hadn't really been expecting the confession so easily but Vince never really lied. He was always upfront with his feelings, which were usually limited to the pursuit of life, lust and happiness. It was only with Eric that he had wanted to fall in love, and now that had crashed and burned, there was a hard shell around his heart. Turtle was all too aware how hard that would be to break down. It had taken thirty years for Eric to even manage the feat, and there was no one in the world that mattered to Vince more than that kid.

Turtle had never really been comfortable with their changed relationship but he managed to be okay with it for their sake. Vince and Eric were two of his best friends, and he recognized that what the two of them shared didn't come along every day. "Listen, Vin, I've never told you what to do before. I've always supported all your choices, even when I didn't agree with them. I mean, other than that one fight we had before Saigon's showcase, we've barely been mad at each other for more than a couple hours," he reminded his friend. "But I feel like I have to say something now or you're going to lose E. Look, I know he fucked up. He knows he fucked up. Just talk to him, let him tell you that. He's fucked up without you, and if this little scene is any indication, I'm pretty sure you're fucked up, too."

Vince wants to shout and curse at Turtle, but he's really just angry with himself and with Eric. "Who would have thought you'd be the voice of reason?" he deadpanned as he closed his book. Turtle smirked and shrugged. "Do you know why he said that?"

Knowing something and wanting to tell someone that you knew were not exactly the same thing at the moment, but Turtle couldn't lie to Vince. "You guys have only been together, what, three months?" Vince nodded, knowing that they'd officially gotten together two weeks after the Oscars when Vince had kissed Eric impulsively after the party at Jake's new house in Malibu. "And before that, you know E was with Sloan. I mean, like after they broke off the engagement, they hooked up that one last time." Vince nodded again, remembering the drunken one-night stand that Eric had regretted immediately. It was like six weeks before they'd gotten together. "Well, I guess the condom broke near the end or something. I don't know what happened, I just know that Sloan showed up and told him that she was pregnant the same night that Eric broke up with you."

A stunned silence filled the room. "Sloan's pregnant?"

"She is," Turtle confirmed. "But the thing is, it's not Eric's kid. Sloan got scared, I guess. She lied to E and said it was his. When they went to get the ultrasound, she found out that she was only two months along. Eric knew that it couldn't be his kid because he hasn't been with anyone but you since."

"Oh, God," Vince exhaled heavily. Even if he was still aching over his own breakup, he knew what something like that would do to E. That was exactly what Eric had always wanted – a family. Knowing that, he couldn't believe that Sloan would lie to Eric. "How is he? Where is he?"

"He's not good, Vin," Turtle answered honestly. Vince was on his feet, throwing things into a backpack feverishly while he half-listened to Turtle outline the past two weeks without him. "Drama is with him, making sure that he eats and doesn't drink. E needs you, Vin, we can't make this better for him."

It took him twelve hours to get a flight booked and get back to California. Turtle was by his side, running interference between any fans or paparazzi that decided to take interest in Vince. He was silent the entire time, saving all his words for Eric. He just needed to get home to him.

Drama was on the couch when Vince came into the house, a Yankees game blaring while his brother dozed lightly. "Johnny, wake up," Vince hollered, shaking his brother desperately. "Where's E?"

"In your room," Johnny replied. He reached up and patted Vince's shoulder. "Glad you're home, Baby Bro. I think E needs you."

Eric was curled up in a ball on top of the comforter, a sterling silver frame clutched in his arms. Vince smiled affectionately at him before sitting down on the edge of the mattress. He reached out and ruffled Eric's hair with surprising tenderness, stirring him slightly. "Good morning."

"Vince," Eric sighed with relief. Tears were in his eyes instantly as Vince laid down next to him, staring intently at him. Vince wrapped his arms around him and drew him to his chest, cradling him like a mother would her child. "The baby's not mine. I'm sorry. I made a mistake. The baby, it's not mine."

"I know, E, I know," he soothed, kissing the top of his head as he rocked a sobbing Eric back and forth. "It's okay, you don't need to be sorry. I forgive you. I forgive you for everything, you just need to forgive yourself. It's not your fault. You were just doing what you thought was right. Everything is going to be okay now, I promise."

"Vin, the baby isn't mine."

"Someday it will be, E," Vince promised. "Someday it will be ours."


	33. Confusion

**Confusion.**

Eric tries not to think too much as Vince presses him against the bathroom door in Eric Roberts' rusty Winnebago, forgetting about the 'shrooms and focusing on Vince's tongue sliding past his lips.

It was just supposed to be a day away from the city, but instead, they'd been tripping balls for hours. Eric hadn't said more than a handful of words all day, and Vince had been waxing poetic about actually doing _Benji_. Turtle was still freaked out and feeling alone, while Drama liked to pretend that he hadn't been affected by any of it. Ari was mostly just crying about how his wife was going to kill him and plotting how he was going to kill Lloyd in return.

A small moan escapes past his lips involuntarily as Vince's hand travels south of Eric's waistline and cups him through his shorts. "Oh, God," he mutters in Vince's ear as his best friend works his hand and his tongue over different parts of E's body. "Don't stop."

Vince peaks up at him and raises an eyebrow indicating that wasn't going to be happening any time soon before returning his attention to pushing up Eric's undershirt so that he can lave kisses over his abs. Eric's fingers sink into Vince's hair and pull gently, pressing him on in his journey. "Like that," Eric murmurs as Vince pulls down on his zipper and peels his shorts to the floor. Eric tries to pull Vince to his feet but fails, sending them both crashing to the floor. E's fairly certain that everyone has to know what's going on now but can't find the commonsense to care. He just wants more of Vince on and around him.

He knows that his best friend had been adventurous in a variety of locations so it isn't surprising that Vince knows how to angle and maneuver them so that everything works. And it definitely works, from the way their bodies fit together to their mutual release to the breathy aftermath when Vince crumbles to the floor and pulls Eric down beside him in an awkward holding position. Both their chemically induced and their sexual highs are wearing off, but Eric still doesn't have it in him to care. This just feels right, even if it is a bit tawdry for his usual tastes.

"Are you still high?"

Eric looks down at his hands and then up at Vince. "Not so much, no. You?"

"I'm pretty sure I wasn't even high when we came in here," Vince admits. His voice is thick with exhaustion and satisfaction. Eric has to smile at the thought that he has something to do with it. "So, um, that was good."

A small chuckle escapes from Eric's pursed lips. "Fuck, yeah." Vince grins widely at his best friend and ducks his head, looking a lot like the kid Eric knew back in the neighborhood who only cared about the reviews E gave him after the school play. "Do you think the other guys..."

"Probably."

"Probably," Eric repeats with a curt nod. Yeah, so that was going to be awkward. This should probably be awkward, but for some reason, it's just not. He's not really sure what is going on. Every ounce of logic has flown out of his body in the afterglow of being in Vince's arms.

Vince watches him for a moment. He knows that Eric is thinking but he can't figure out what he is thinking or even why he is thinking. His brain is pretty broken after that. "Stop."

Eric doesn't ask what Vince means as he apologizes, "Sorry."

"We'll figure it out later."

"Yeah?" E asks with a raised eyebrow. He thinks to himself and then nods. "Yeah."

"Now let's make out some more," Vince whines.

Eric throws his head back and laughs. "Sure, what the hell." They have all the time in the world to figure it out.


	34. Fear

**Fear.**

In their group of friends, everyone had their role. Johnny was the older brother, fiercely protective and loyal to a fault. Turtle was the casual sidekick, always good for a laugh and up for a party. Vince was the careless free spirit with the heart of gold, forever acting on instinct and having total faith in the people he trusted most. And Eric was the wise one, the one who looked out for everyone and acted cautiously because he would hold himself responsible if things went south. They each had a part to play and took that very seriously.

However, there were times when a different side would inevitably would come out and send everything slightly off kilter. When Turtle got sick with the flu in sixth grade, it was Eric that he relied on to make him laugh after being stuck in bed for days. After Johnny had been unable to protect Vince from the bully a few streets over the summer before freshman year, Turtle had been the first one to go after Billy Hardwick with the full weight of his very awkward fourteen-year-old body. The day that Vince lost his cool when he fought with his mom, Johnny had worked diligently for hours to convince him that it wasn't worth worrying about. And when Eric had been a terrified kid at the movie theater, it was Vince that is right there to watch over his best friend in the world.

"C'mon, E, I'll even buy you popcorn," Vince whispered in his ear one afternoon when they're thirteen and Turtle is trying to convince him to see _The Shining_, "and I won't even tell anyone if you need to hold my hand."

Eric slanted his eyes at Vince and grimaced defiantly. Vince knew that nightmares had plagued Eric ever since they had snuck into see the original _Halloween_ last year when they had skipped school. "I'm not scared," he lied, crossing his arms over his chest as he tapped his foot impatiently. "Just buy the damn tickets and let's go. I don't want to miss the previews."

The whole crew knew that it was a lie, but it didn't really matter. Johnny was too old to be hanging out with a bunch of middle school kids but had agreed to drive them into the city to catch the matinée. He was a few people ahead of them in line with Turtle, both of them talking animately about the Mets game that afternoon. They were still high from the mellow herb Vince had conned off Allison Harper yesterday. Maybe that was what had E on edge, Vince considered for a moment before shaking his head.

Drama waved them out of line a few minutes later and led them into the buzzing theater. Vince strutted after his brother like they owned the place. The Chase confidence had been evident even then. Turtle was happy to be flanking Vince's side, smiling at the cute girl behind the counter as they waited for their junk food and sodas. Eric hung back a little, happy to watch as always and hoping that he could just make it through the next two hours without totally bitching out. The last thing he needed was to be taunted again after that whole thing last week when he had refused to give the guys the details of kissing Jillian Ashford. If he freaked out during _The Shining_, he was never going to live it down.

"Let's go, E!" Vince called, breaking Eric out of his stupor. Eric's head snapped up with a curt nod before he followed his best friend through the crowds of people. The guys filed in behind a pair of cute blondes that seemed to catch Turtle's eye. Thankfully for Johnny, they were being accompanied by an older sibling. The twosome soon struck up a conversation, and Eric expected Vince to jump in as their third. However, he seemed completely focused on Eric as he steered him into a row of seats near the back.

Eric was used to tagging along on dates with Vince. Even though they were still just kids, Vince had seen more active than guys twice his age. Eric was content to watch from afar, preferring the untouchable girls like Katrina Angelo that didn't need to put out to get noticed. More than that, he got to live vicariously through Vince, hearing about all his pursuits in detail when they were huddled up in his bedroom at night. Those girls might have Vince's attention during the day sometimes, but Eric still got most of his nights. He knew that it wouldn't be like that forever and with star potential like his, Eric would eventually have to share his best friend with the world.

It took roughly twenty minutes into the movie before Eric gasped aloud for the first time. He was on edge, trying not to close his eyes at the scarier parts or grip Vince's arm in reaction. When he finally did reach out for his friend, Vince was right there to offer his forearm. Eric dug his nails in his sienna skin for about thirty seconds before Vince reached down to extract his hand. Rather than returning it to his own armrest, Vince slid his fingers into Eric's and held it loosely in his lap. This was new for both of them but neither of them acknowledged it. They just kept their eyes glued to the screen, though Vince does notice that Eric relaxes back into his seat a little more and breathes easier.

When the house lights came up and everyone started to move around, Vince and Eric stayed in their seats. Eric watched Turtle follow the girls out with Johnny but did't make a move to go after them. He just stayed frozen in his red velvet seat, waiting for Vince to let go or to say something that would turn everything into a joke. When he doesn't, Eric squeezed his fingers a little to get a reaction. Vince tightened his grip slightly before loosening again. It was a conscious act this point, to be holding hands like that. It's both a little scary and unexpectedly thrilling to be there with him.

"So what'd you think of the movie?" Vince asked, his eyes still fixed on the screen. The theater was empty now, the fluttering of the protector still humming above them. The pimple-faced teens that cleaned the room after the movies hadn't came in yet. "Was it as scary as you though it would be?"

"I don't know, it somehow didn't seem so bad."

"Yeah?" Vince chuckled as he finally looked at Eric for the first time. A light twinkled in his best friend's gaze, a genuine happiness that only Vince seemed to be able to evoke. "So, um...this is weird, huh?" Eric laughed and nodded, lifting their clasped hands in gesture. "But it's not a bad weird."

"Not bad weird," Eric agreed. They both knew that it wasn't acceptable. Vince had to have a tough skin with his artistic aspirations, while Eric's mom employed enough Catholic guilt to make the Pope repent. "I think the guys ditched us."

"So maybe we just take the subway home."

"So maybe we do that," Eric nodded. Vince let go of his hand reluctantly. As much as this felt okay between them, it wasn't acceptable in Queens. The chances that someone would see them were too high, but that doesn't stop Vince from slinging his arm around Eric's shoulders in a friendly gesture. It stayed like that on the train, where Eric was so tired that it took all he had not to just rest his head against Vince's and doze. His best friend was warm beside him and comforting. It felt safe.

It was some thirty minutes later that Vince shook him awake and led him out onto the dark streets. Eric wondered briefly how long it took Drama or Turtle to realize that they were missing but soon forgot it when Vince's hand slid down his arm, over his wrist and found his hand in the darkness. Vince walked him back to his house and didn't let go until they were standing safely at Eric's door beneath the dim glow of the porch light.

"Safe and sound, just like I promised," Vince whispered, knowing that Eric's parents were likely watching television in the living room and would be able to hear them through the open window.

"Yeah, safe like you promised," Eric replied softly. "Do you wanna come in? Ma probably has leftovers in there, maybe some pie or something."

"Nah, I should probably get home. Ma will have my ass if I don't show up for dinner at least once night this week. She keeps telling me that I can't keep eating you all out of house and home, even though I keep telling her your mom doesn't mind."

"Alright, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at the bus stop."

"Yeah, same time, same place, same station," Vince deadpanned before hopping down the steps. His Chuck Taylors had a hole in them and Eric was suddenly very fixated on it. "We had fun today, E, didn't we?"

"Yeah, Vin, we had fun." Eric had to reassure Vince even then. Vince waved over his shoulder before starting down the sidewalk to his house three doors down. He was just about to head up his own walkway when he turned on his heel and sprinted back to where Eric was watching him from the porch. He pressed his lips to Eric's quickly, catching his best friend off guard. Vince pulled back and smiled at Eric happily. Eric leaned in again to kiss Vince more fully this time, his eyes not even darting around to see if anyone is watching. Then he heard his father cough from the living room and Vince jerked away suddenty and the magic was gone.

"Later, E."

Eric finds himself wondering hours later if Vince's departing words were just a casual goodbye or an exciting promise. It takes him twenty years and another night of watching _The Shining_ for him to get his answer. They're sitting in the comfort of Vince's home theater this time, Turtle and Johnny sprawled out in the seats in front of them still high as a kite. Eric jumps a little in the first scary sequence of the movie, all those old feelings rushing back to him. Vince's hand inevitably finds his and holds him steady throughout the rest of the movie, and this time, when he walks Eric home, he doesn't have to go any further than to the end of the hall. Vince kisses Eric outside the doorway once again, this time pressing him against the wall until they're both breathless. When Drama's unsubtle cough fails to break them apart and Turtle's confused cursing doesn't faze them, they both finally acknowledge that maybe there was something to this and Eric decides _The Shining _is his all-time favorite movie.


	35. Thunder

**Thunder.**

Eric knew the stakes. He knew that he was taking a huge risk when made the bet, but one hooded look from Vince had convinced him that not only was this a good idea, it was the best fucking idea of his life. He knew that being with him meant an entourage of friends always around, a barrage of girls at every club and restaurant, an ego that bigger than Queens and about a million other negative qualities that any sane man wouldn't want to touch with a ten-foot pole. He knew all this and he took the leap because he convinced himself that it would be worth it. What he didn't know what it would hurt like hell when he felt it crashing down around him.

He thinks about that old Garth Brooks song that his mother used to sing sometimes and related to way too much when Vince comes home late, lipstick smeared across his cheek and his collar smelling like Chanel perfume. It's been yet another night alone in the big house in the Hills that he's been sharing with Vince and Vince alone for much of the last year. Too many glasses of scotch and a thunderstorm have left him feeling angry and restless. He's rearing for a fight the minute Vince saunters into the house without a care in the world. Eric's just drunk enough that he doesn't yell. He just looks at his boyfriend and shakes his head in disgust before climbing the stairs to their bedroom alone.

"E!"

Eric shrugs off Vince's call as he shuts the bathroom door in the master suite. He doesn't have the heart to lock him out of the bedroom, but he's not ready to face him. Vince is beautifully complicated, and usually Eric is happy to take it on. It's just been too hard lately, and even Eric is tired of working this hard to make it work. He ignores Vince's knocks on the door as he turns on the water and splashes it on his face. It does little to shake off the stress, but he keeps the water running to drown out Vince. He's just sitting there, on the edge of the tub, staring at the closed door. He could let this go like he has so many other nights or he could go out there and face it like a man. He's not really liking either option at the moment.

With a deep breath and a string of curses under his breath, Eric crosses the room and opens the door. He doesn't come out, just takes a step back and watches Vince lean in the doorway. "What's up, E?"

The question is casual and sickens Eric immediately. "What's up?" he scoffs. Eric hangs his head and rubs the back of his neck. He's too exhausted to be sad. "You think I don't recognize the perfume, Vin?" Eric looks up and meets his eye line. He sees it click in Vince's head as the panic starts to set in. "Yeah, I know."

Vince covers his mouth as Eric brushes past him and heads for the closet. He throws his old battered gym bag on their bed and starts tossing random clothes into it. He makes sure to take nothing that is Vince's, opting for a lot of the old tees and faded jeans that he used to wear before he became a Hollywood power player. "E, you can't go, we have to talk about this," Vince implores as Eric unplugs his phone charger and scrounges around in the top dresser drawer for his wallet. Eric makes it a point not to answer Vince and to ignore the framed photograph of them on his night stand. He just grabs the book he's been reading and adds it to the bag. "Eric, please, just talk to me."

"I'm done talking, Vince," Eric informs him. His voice is soft but completely devoid of any real emotion. "I could have taken it if it was anyone else, but her? Vince, why did it have to be her?" Eric knows that it is a sign of weakness to let Vince see him this vulnerable, but this was literally killing their relationship. "I told myself, it's okay, he loves me. It doesn't matter that he misses girls, I'm enough. I actually believed that, can you believe it? I thought you loved me enough to be faithful. How could I have been so naive? You don't love anyone other than yourself."

They've known each other twenty-five years, and Eric has been mad at Vince plenty. He usually yells at him, curses at him, even took a few shots back in high school when Eric caught Vince making a pass at his cousin. Vince knows how to deal with all that but this cold, angry silence scares him.

Eric waits a moment and then picks up his bag from the bed. "Mandy Moore," Eric mutters, shaking his head. "Mandy fucking Moore. She's married, Vince, you know that right? Hell, we might as well be. You know this and you're still willing to throw it away? I hope she was worth it, Vin, 'cause I'm done."

His exit is anything but dramatic as he slings the gym bag over his shoulder and walks out on Vince. He's halfway down the stairs before he hears Vince call his name, but it's not enough to make him stop. "E, please!" His voice is pathetic but Eric shakes it off. "Please, Eric." It's the wavering last syllable where Eric knows he's crying that gets him to stop. "Please."

Eric turns and looks up the staircase at Vince. He's sitting halfway down, his head in his hands. It takes everything he has not to throw the bag down and run up to him, take him in his arms and forgive him. He loves him even now, knowing what he does and how broken his heart is. "Vin..." His voice trails off. He doesn't know what to say. "Come make me a drink. I'll give you fifteen minutes to explain. If I don't like what I hear, I'm gone."

Vince looks relieved,a beautifully hopeful smile lighting up his face. He takes the stairs two at a time and stops right in front of Eric. He shifts the bag out of E's grasp and sets it aside before resting his hand on Eric's hip and pressing their foreheads together. It's an intimate gesture meant to comfort them but all Eric can smell is Mandy on Vince.

They head into the kitchen,Vince holding Eric by the wrist in case he should try to escape. Vince points to a stool and then pulls an expensive bottle of wine out of the cooler. It's going to take something good to get them through this. Once two goblets are filled with the expensive Bordeaux they'd picked up at a small winery in France last fall, Vince collapses onto the stool next to Eric and rests his head against his fist. "I don't know where to start."

"Try the beginning."

And so Vince tells Eric about running into Mandy at a party for their mutual business manager, the one that Eric actually found for him after Marvin retired with his wife to Napa last year. Eric had a late meeting with another client, something Vince points out. Eric reminds him that he can't shift the blame here and tells him to go on. Too many drinks, a fight between Mandy and Ryan, a few more drinks, an unanswered call to Eric and a few more drinks later, they were making out in a dark corner of the lawn. Vince swears that's all that happened and Eric tells him that it doesn't matter. It almost makes it worse really, though he's not really sure why.

Eric drinks down the rest of his wine and stands up. He leaves the kitchen wordlessly and picks up his bag in the foyer. Vince follows after him, afraid to say anything else that might make him go. "I don't know where to go," Eric confesses. His hand is resting on the door knob but his eyes are looking toward their bedroom door. "I shouldn't have to feel like that in my own house, Vince. I shouldn't have to feel like I can't be here." He looks up at Vince and Vince nearly weeps at how sad Eric looks. "My mom felt like that her entire marriage, Vin. My dad cheated on her for nearly fifteen years until the day he died. She was never strong enough to leave him and I swore to myself I would never live that way. Give me one reason to stay. One last chance. Why do I stay?"

"Because you love me."

It is probably the only reason Vince could have given that would have actually made Eric stay. He nodded slightly before dropping the bag down again. Vince is to him in a matter of moments, wrapping his arms around Eric and promising that this will never happen again. Eric believes him. He wouldn't have given him one last chance if he didn't. The truth is that maybe Eric was never going to leave, he's not really sure, and they're both glad that they don't have to find out.


	36. Bonds

**Bonds.**

Since he was six-years-old, Vincent Chase hadn't done a single thing on his own. Eric had been the first to join his entourage, just a mouthy kid in Ms. Angelou's first-grade class who thought Vince would be better off playing hopscotch with the girls than trying to run a basketball game with the boys. Turtle joined two years later, when he had helped Vince get his backpack from a the fifth grade bully. And while Johnny had always been around, it wasn't until the boys were in high school and thinking about coming out west that he really became part of the crew. Now, two decades later, they were as inseparable as ever, on the verge of perhaps the biggest journey of their lives yet.

Eric proposes to Vince one night after dinner, just hanging out in the backyard when the moon hits his beautiful face just right and makes him realize he can't live another day without making this man his forever. It takes two weeks to plan the wedding and then Turtle agrees to be Eric's best man and Johnny's standing up there next to Vince and it's the four of them, just like always, against the world. Drama cries when he gives his toast, while Turtle's is peppered with stories about their youth. Eric's mom dances proudly with her only child while Vince whisks Rita across the dance floor as effortlessly as he does everything except love E. Turtle goes home with one of the girls from Eric's agency and she has a friend for Drama, and all four of them manage to get lucky on the same evening for the first time in a long time.

The guys return home from two weeks in Greece, and it's Turtle and Drama waiting at the airport with "Mr. and Mr. Murphy" signs that greet them when they first step onto American soil again. Eric doesn't find it quite as funny as Vince does that his husband is the girl in the relationship. It was hard enough accepting that he was gay and in love with his best friend; he doesn't need to pretend Vince was anything other than he is. Once Vince kisses him in front of flashing cameras, he forgets all about it and is laughing with Turtle as they amble toward the luggage carousel. Fifteen minutes later, they're in Drama's Continental headed toward the new house in Malibu.

It's a trio of houses this time on a sprawling estate, and for once, Eric didn't bitch when Vince was generous and lavish with his wealth. Turtle and Drama are under their own roofs but close enough that they can hang out any time. Shauna had sent someone to decorate Vince and Eric's while they were on their honeymoon, while Turtle's is the perfect example of a bachelor pad and Johnny's is filled with the same décor that had been in his condo. It's not a traditional way to live, but the four boys from Queens can't be bothered with convention. They're more worried about Vince's next role as a single father and finding a new assistant for Eric and Johnny's audition for a Tarentino flick and Turtle's last year of business classes.

When Eric decides that he wants to adopt and Vince agrees, it's Johnny and Turtle that they tell first. Johnny's chest puffs up at the thought of being an uncle to their rugrat and the very Catholic part in Eric asks Turtle if he'll be the godfather. Ari balks at the idea of Turtle raising their child and prays that Jessica Alba will be a sufficient godmother. Vince doesn't worry because he knows Eric chose exactly the right person to be a godfather to their little girl, a Vietnamese three-month-old they name after their mothers. It's a surprisingly normal life for boys used to anything but ordinary. But it doesn't seem like a big deal to them because it's just like it's always been with the four of them.

There would be awards and other children and marriages and failures. There would be arguments and defeats and successes and surprises. There would be amazing highs and terrifying lows and overwhelming rewards and devastating losses. There would be times they couldn't be tighter and other times when everything felt like it was falling apart. But through it all, there bond was the one true thing they could count on. It was the one thing that would always hold them together.


	37. Market

**Market.**

Living in the closet is kind of a nightmare. It's not just Eric and Vince that affected. Everyone has to live with the secret. Johnny tries to tell his mother the closest version to the truth, telling her that Vince has found himself a nice Catholic girl from New York who works in the industry. Shauna made it her first priority to protect Vince's playboy image by carefully planning very public dates with a string of starlets all over town. Ari took Vince to a strip club to remind him how much he liked women and took Eric to Koi to remind him that their mutual client had a reputation uphold. And Turtle, well, Turtle still doesn't understand why Vince tells _Maxim_ that his favorite thing to do on a Saturday afternoon is go to the farmer's market with Eric, but it keeps him stocked with plenty of girls for at least the next three weeks.

When he was on the market, Eric was always shopping for the girl of his dream. He was pretty sure that it was Sloan for awhile until she ran off with a stockbroker she met at one of her father's dinner parties. He had dated cute junior development exec over at Warners for awhile, and the tabs had him attached to a Swedish model for a couple months. It wasn't for lack of trying, but there was always something off about each of the girls. It wasn't until Vince kissed him on New Years Eve when they were back in Queens that he realized what was missing was right in front of him.

"I was thinking that we could maybe pick up a bottle of wine on the way home, too," Vince decided as he looked through a barrel of tomatoes. He didn't know what he was looking for but figured he would know when he found it. It was always like that with Vince, an uninformed but optimistic kind of blind faith. "Johnny said a French Rhone would go great with the beef. Apparently, he has been aging and marinating it for the past two days. He's pretty proud of himself."

Eric's eyes twinkled as he looked up at Vince over the edge of a bushel of corn. He picked up a few ears and threw them into the canvas shopping bag before moving on to the rows of peppers. "We can stop at that place off Sunset. I want to get a dessert, too. You know, if we're going to have these things at our house, we should really do some of the work."

Vince wanted to lean over the tables of vegetables and kiss Eric for calling his house their home but knew that there were far too many people around for that to be permissible. It wasn't exactly a dream come true to finally fall in love only to have to hide it from everyone other than his agent, publicist, brother and other best friend. They'd considered telling their moms when they were home at Easter but had backed down when Ari reminded them that Vince was up for a big action flick and risking anyone finding out didn't bode well for his future in the role.

When Vince was still on the market, he made sure to sample as many of the goods as he possibly could. He'd had a girl from every state during his dating career as well as most of the Europe and a healthy amount from the rest of the continents. Then he had decided he preferred the scent of pine and rough lips to soft skin and hair products and he quit sampling altogether. It had been a conscious decision to kiss E that night, meticulously planned without his best friend ever knowing. It was the only secret besides Mandy that he had ever kept from Eric, but this time turned out a lot better than that disaster.

"Yeah, well, we're only having this thing at our house because you volunteered to host a cocktail party for the agency, E," Vince reminded him with a teasing smile. Eric hadn't realized what he was volunteering for when he agreed to let his boss invite a few people over for drinks and schmoozing. Seventy-five people and a carefully planned Drama menu later, they had closed off the upstairs from visitors in hopes that no one would wander off and realize that the other bedrooms were empty and that all of Eric's clothes were hanging next to Vince's in the master closet.

Eric licked his lips and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, causing Vince to inhale sharply and stop dead in his tracks. A coy smile crossed E's face as he realized his unconscious mannerisms. Vince had a thing for his quiet nervousness, especially when he got to unwind Eric. "Trust me, it will never happen again," he finally said, holding up two melons for Vince to approve. Vince thumped each before pointing toward the one on the left and putting it in the shopping bag with a carton of blueberries.

It was a quiet Saturday afternoon, nothing special at all, and Eric was pretty sure that going to the farmer's market was pretty much the gayest thing about himself next to actually sleeping with Vince. Vince didn't think twice about being out with Eric shopping, it was just like going to get Froot Loops and beer like they always had. No one seemed to notice that they came every week or that Vince would feed Eric small bites from the sample stands or that Eric never took his eyes off Vince even in public.

And it goes on like that for awhile longer, the two of them living a simple existence without telling the truth to the world. They survive the cocktail party and Eric is promoted at work and Vince lands the action film. They quietly tell their mothers when they're back east for Rita's birthday, and Ari doesn't fuss too much when E refuses to ask them to sign a confidentiality agreement. It's only when a paparazzi catches Vince kissing Eric's forehead while they look at citrus fruit that the truth finally comes out. Turtle laughs and points out to the first reporter that asks that the clues were there all along, if only they'd just read that issue of _Maxim_.


	38. Technology

**Technology.**

A summer apart and see where they are in three months – that was the deal that Eric made with Vince in May. The idea of spending three months apart had caused something to click for both of them, leaving their relationship on shaky ground not seen since Vince's great exodus post-_Medellin_. Nothing was set in stone, just a soft promises that Vince would stay faithful and Eric would try not to worry. Turtle would be with Vince on set, while Drama stayed behind in Los Angeles as Eric worked the summer at the agency. It was less than ideal, but it would give them both time to think. They had to figure this out before the rest of the world figured it out for him.

Although Vince hadn't been able to see Eric while he was filming the latest Peter Jackson flick, he had become very adept at using his laptop. With the click of a button, he could be connected to Skype in a matter of seconds and see a bleary-eyed Eric as he crawled home from a late night at the office. Eric refused to pay astronomical international rates, so they had opted for the free video chat service. Besides, Vince reasoned that it was better because he actually got to see E blush when he said something inappropriate. He never realized how cute it was before now.

Five-thousand miles doesn't feel so far as Vince's beautiful face fills the screen of Eric's laptop from Australia, whispering promises about how "It's only twenty-four more hours, Baby." Along with the million other strange things that had happened since their relationship shifted, it's Vince's sweetness that strikes him most odd. He was used to his foul-mouthed best friend that just had to smile to get what he wanted. In his place, Eric had found a slightly shy guy who was almost trying to woo him for his attention. It was undeniably sweet to know that Vince wanted him like that.

After months of being apart, they would finally be reunited tomorrow. Only Turtle and Johnny had any inclination that something had changed. Though neither of them had said anything directly, the frequency of their conversations paired with the awkward conversation Johnny had with Eric about family told them everything that they needed to know. Turtle had agreed to delay Vince's welcome-home party by a few days for "jet lag," when they all four really knew it was so that he could enjoy his reunion with Eric.

"It's more than 24 hours, Vin," Eric reminded him as he shifted backwards and smiled. Vince had never been all that great at looking at the full picture. He could only ever see what he wanted, and right now, all he wanted was to be in the same place that Eric was. "It's going to take you at least half a day to get back here. Still, 36 hours is a lot better than three months."

"Tell me about," Vince deadpanned. It had been the longest twelve weeks of his life without Eric. It wasn't like the lost summer in Mexico when he had been angry at the world. It wasn't like those few weeks before _Gatsby_ when Eric had finally stuck to his guns and shut Vince down. It was more than that and definitely worse than that. "You'll be at the airport to meet us, right? Just you and Johnny. I don't want Ari or Shauna there. Just family, yeah?"

"Just family," Eric confirmed. He had spoken to Ari exactly twice while Vince was out of town, once to renegotiate terms of his merchandise agreement and another time to remind him about some publicity that he was supposed to do next month. Shauna had been equally as out of touch, just a few emails exchanged about Vince's promotion requirements from the last movie he did. "I was thinking that we could do dinner with the guys and do dessert back at my place. My lease is up on the sublet at the end of the month. I guess I need to figure something out."

"I've got a few ideas," Vince leered suggestively.

Eric shook his head and chuckled. "I'm sure that you do." He raked his fingers through his hair and tried not to gasp aloud when Vince leaned back and spread his legs. He was too damn cocky for either one of theirs good. "I'll be at the airport and then you can show me a few of those ideas, Superstar. Until then, keep your knees together. I want you nice and hungry when you get home."

Vince looked up at Eric behind dark lashes as he reached out and touched the screen. It was about as much intimacy as the distance and the technology could afford. "I can't wait to see you, E," he said softly before resting his head on his hands. Eric could see the high school kid who used to sit at his kitchen table after a school play, high as a kite from the cast party and deliriously happy from his non-chemical high of being a natural-born star.

"Me neither, Vin," Eric replied as softly. "We made it three months, you still in?"

"I'm still in," he nodded. "Even more than I was three months ago."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Vince laughed. "Fuck yeah, moron. I love you."

"Good," Eric grinned. "I'll see you then?"

"See you then."


	39. Gift

**Gift.**

It was an apology gift, one meant to mend harsh and angry words when all Eric really wanted to hear was sorry. It was easy for Eric to find the words. He'd always been able to open up his mouth and explain exactly how he felt within the matter of a few sentences. Vince had always been more of an action guy, preferring to show someone how he felt by how he treated them. However, when they had that fight – the worst one of their lives – he hadn't even been doing a good job of showing Eric how he felt. He'd just been good at keeping up the walls.

Eric reasoned that Vince knew what kind of guy he was when he got into a relationship with him. He had known Eric his whole life, had watched him chase girls in search of "the one." He knew that Eric fell in love with every girl he slept with and wasn't sure why he thought it'd be different with a guy. Eric had been in love with Vince their entire lives without even knowing it. So when that summer (the one after the life-altering fight in Queens where Eric went back to LA without Vince) changed everything, Eric was down for giving Vince everything he had like he always had. Only this time, Vince also got his heart.

They were both reluctant to let anyone know about it in the beginning. Eric wasn't sure if this was just a phase for Vince, and Vince knew that he had an image to protect. The career was important to both of them, and until they really got it figured out, that was going to be the deal. But when months turned into a year, E started to have a change of heart. The first time he broached Vince about at least telling their families, Vince had clammed up and been quiet for days. "Why ruin a good thing?" was his motto, and what Eric had to say on the subject. It was then that E realized that things had to be on Vince's terms, but for now, he was willing to play the game.

Looking back, he realized that he had been foolish to be so naïve. If he let Vince have his way, it was possible that things would never change. He could have his proverbial cake and eat it too. Eric was in love with him and willing to do anything. E tried to make their love be enough for him, but he knew that it wasn't going to be. He wanted more than that; he wanted a life with Vince. So after a few weeks, he broached the subject again. Vince was more accepting this time but couldn't nail down a concrete date. Vince believed in their relationship, had faith that it was going to work out. Eric agreed and thought that if things were so amazing, why wouldn't you want that life to start now? But Vince was all about the timing, and there were just a few things that had to happen before he felt he could take it to the next level.

Eric tried to be patient for his part. It was possible to imagine going back to being friends or ever finding someone he loved this much. It wasn't easy to deal with it, and some days were better than others. There were times when he would have to head back to Queens to do some family thing and he couldn't help but feel like part of him was missing. These were the kinds of things Vince should be with him at but he wasn't there. He wanted Vince to feel the same, but when he tried to talk to him about it, he was met with walls. E felt punished for days afterward, knowing that there was a distance between them even if Vince didn't want to admit it.

Finally, one day, Eric had enough. It was the week before the Oscars, and Vince was finally nominated for _Gatsby_. It should have been the best time of their lives, but Vince and Eric had been at each other's throats for weeks. Eric wanted to walk the red carpet with Vince, on his arm as his partner. Vince insisted that it just couldn't happen like that. He wanted the Oscar first. It was like a golden ticket in Hollywood, something he felt like would be a safety net if everything went south. When Eric dared to say that he couldn't imagine doing this for another year, Vince went silent and wouldn't talk to him for two days. By the time he realized what was happening, Eric was already gone.

It took two hours of sobbing before Turtle and Drama could calm Vince down. They had no idea where Eric was, and he had seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth. They had even tried calling his mother back in New York in hopes of tracking him down, but Mrs. Murphy hadn't spoken to her old child all week. It was finally after Vince thought of calling E's assistant that they found him asleep in his office. After stopping at Cartier for a small peace offering, Turtle left Vince alone in front of the office building.

"What are you doing here?"

Eric looked up from the old issue of _Sports Illustrated_ in his lap and shrugged. "I didn't have anywhere else to go. My house is your house, and I didn't want to be with you."

"E, I'm sorry."

"That's the thing, Vin, you're not. Yeah, maybe you're sorry that I left you, but you're not sorry enough to make this right," Eric said coldly. Vince wasn't the only one who could put up walls. "I have tried so hard to make this work, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one trying. You're perfectly content with the way things are, but I want more. I deserve more. I've been patient, I've been true. You're not here for me like I need you to be and I convinced myself that it'd be okay because you'd eventually see. When you are still refusing to put a time line on things more than a year later, I'm starting to realize that things might never change if I left it up to you."

Vince was quiet. Usually when he was angry with Eric, E would bend over backwards to make things okay. He would apologize when he didn't feel like it was his fault. He would try to make Vince laugh or tell him how much he loved him. Vince never really did those things. "I know it's not fair, E," Vince reasoned. "I just feel like..."

"I know what you feel like, Vince, fuck," Eric cursed. He was angry. This was the end of the road for him. "Either we do this for real or it's over. I won't give you another year of my life without knowing what the outcome is going to be. I deserve, we deserve, better than that. I'm no going to give you time to think about it. Tell me know what it's going to be."

His voice was serious and Vince knew that this was it. More than any movie, more than any deal, this was the moment that would define his life. He could be a coward like he had been this past year and live in the shadow of his fame, or he could be the man that Eric loved and stand beside him for the rest of their lives. Eric wasn't asking for a lot. "I brought you something," Vince retorted. He handed the box over to Eric with a small smile. "I think it'll look good with your tux on Sunday night. That is, if you'll still come with me."

Eric opened the box and revealed the platinum watch. He removed it carefully and slipped it around his wrist. It made Vince almost hard just seeing Eric twist the band of the ridiculously expensive watch he got him and would make him even harder hours later when Eric's beneath him wearing only that. Eric lifted his wrist for Vince to inspect. "Well, what do you think?"

Vince reached for Eric's hand and slid it into his before lifting his fingers up to his lips to kiss. "I think it's perfect," he complimented genuinely. This was perfect. He had wasted so much time taking Eric for granted. Ultimatums had never been his thing, but this had been exactly what he needed. Only Er could have known that about him. "So you'll come?"

"I'll be there," Eric promised. "You better thank me first when you win."

Vince smiled and and squeezed Eric's hand promisingly. "Really think I'll win?"

"With me by your side?" Eric grinned. "You got it in the bag."


	40. Smile

**Smile.**

"Uh uh, no way, Vince."

Vince pushed back his vintage driving goggles and looked E squarely in the eye. "I'm not asking, I'm telling," he informed his manager and best friend. There would be no talking him out of this. "I am going to do my own stunts. The director's got me insured and I've been training for two weeks. You can either stalk off the set like Ari did and refuse to watch or you can suck it up and have my back like always."

Eric squinted at Vince angrily as he balled his fists by his sides. Of course Vince knew that Eric would fold. He always folded when it came to giving Vince what he wanted. "You know there's no way that I am leaving this set," he answered Vince through gritted teeth. If Vince was determined on risking his life, E was going to be here to see every minute of it. He would never forgive himself if something happened and he wasn't here.

A slow smile lights up Vince's face. Eric knows exactly what that Cheshire grin means, the one that tells him that they are both fucked...literally. Nothing gets Vince off more than getting his way with E. Eric is the only one who ever truly stands up to Vince, so it's a small victory every time he gets Eric to do what he wants. "Good, you know that I always do better when I know you're here."

Leaning forward, Eric smooths down Vince's collar and presses his forehead to his. "You better not fuck up out there, you hear me? I am counting on you coming back to me in one piece. We have that trip planned for August, and it's really going to screw it up if I have to visit your ass in the ICU," he told Vince quietly. They were holed up in Vince's trailer, enjoying a few rare private moments alone before Vince went out there and risked his life at 185 miles per hour. "I mean it, you have to be careful. Listen to what they tell you, Vince. This movie is not worth losing you, especially when I just got you."

"You always had me, E," Vince whispered before kissing him softly. "I'm going to be fine, I can do this. Knowing that you believe in me is just exactly what I needed."

An underpaid PA comes to knock on the door and collect Vince for his big scene. With one more kiss from Eric, Vince replaces the driving goggles over his grey eyes and sidles on set with the same cocky confidence that made Hollywood take notice in the first place. Eric watches intently as a stunt coordinator goes over the technicalities of the scene one more time. Vince nods before climbing into his car. Turtle says something and Drama agrees but Eric is too focused to hear either of them.

It's a complicated scene, one that Eric has been over repeatedly with a fine-tooth comb. He had walked through the rehearsal, saw the action plan from the choreographer, watched the stunt double perform it a handful of times and questioned anyone even remotely connected with the scene extensively. He'd watched dozens of complicated stunts be filmed over the course of Vince's career, but this was one of the few that he'd been allowed to perform himself. Other than some wire work in _Aquaman_, this was really the only time he'd really risked it.

Vince grinned at Eric from behind the steering wheel and flashed him the thumbs up. Eric waved slightly before scratching the back of his neck nervously. That was his tell and the last thing that Vince needed to see but he couldn't help it. The director was screaming at Vince through a megaphone and before Eric knew what was happening, the car was lunging forward and explosions were going off on either side of the track. E wanted to close his eyes but found himself frozen in fear. The revving of the engine burned in his ears as Vince's car approached the ramp and then with one final surge, flew off the paved incline.

"Holy shit!"

Eric ignored Turtle's excited scream as he took off across the set to meet Vince once he climbed from the car. He didn't care that anyone was watching or that the director was screaming at him for messing up the take. This part could be reshot. For now, he just wanted to gather Vince up in his arms and make he vow to never be so reckless again. He managed to make the hug look as friendly as possible despite the fact his heart was racing a million miles a minute.

"Fuck."

Tears wet the corners of Vince's eyes as he hung onto Eric. The courage had only carried him through the act, leaving him petrified in the aftermath. "Tell me about it," Eric murmured as he pulled away. He could gaze at Vince adoringly from behind the safety of his aviators. "You're not doing that again. Ever."

Vince chortled in the back of his throat and nodded eagerly. "You got it."

"Murphy, get off my set before I have security carry you off!" the director screamed from behind the camera.

Eric laughed and shook his head before bumping his first against Vince's. He was almost out of earshot when he heard Vince call his name. Eric turned around and looked back at him. "Did I do good?"

"Amazing, Vin," he answered truthfully. There would be time for that "literally fucked" thing later. For now, the proud smile on his boy's face almost made the risk completely worth it.


	41. Innocence

**Innocence.**

Ten-year-old Eric had no idea what he what he was saying when he told Vince to quit the basketball team and try out for the school play instead, but that moment pretty much changed everything.

Vince had been good enough to make it in Little League baseball over the summer, but this was the fifth grade basketball team and it wasn't child's play. Kids in New York took the sport seriously, and the boys from Queens were among the best of the best. Eric was scrappy enough to make it as a forward, but with his long hair and lanky frame, Vince just seemed to get in the way on the court. When he got the wind knocked out of him after Antonio DiMartino boxed him out in the paint, Eric decided that it was time his best friend got another hobby.

"You moron," Eric chuckled as he came over to help Vince up from the tiled gym floor. Vince swiped at the blood on his knee and tried to walk off the pain. "I told you last week and I'm telling you again, basketball is not your sport."

"Yeah but the ladies love it," Vince grinned as he narrowed his eyes at the small crowd of girls cheering on the sidelines. He had a fan section, even then. "I'm just giving them what they want."

Eric elbowed Vince in the ribs as they headed out of the gym and into the cold November air. He tried in vain to rub his hands together for warmth before shoving them into the pockets of his parka. It was a new one, from the sporting goods store over on Vernon Boulevard. Vince's had seen better days, probably long before his ma picked it up for his older brother at the Salvation Army. He had managed to lose his gloves somewhere between his house and school that morning. Eric shook his head and peeled his off before handing them over to Vince.

"The girls love you even when you're not playing basketball, Vince," Eric pointed out. His air made a small puff of smoke in the air. Vince grinned at his friend knowingly, as if to say, _yeah, I'm that good_. The truth was that he was that good. "We just have to find the right place for you to display your skills. I don't know, maybe you should try out for the school play. You'd get to kiss Elena Moretti. She's pretty cute."

Vince tapped his temple in mock contemplation. "Yeah, she's okay, but I don't know...Don't you think that acting is kind of gay? I mean, the only kid in our grade who even wants to be in drama is Mark, and I'm pretty sure he likes boys. I caught him looking at me that one time in gym."

"With hair likes yours, he probably thought you were a chick," Eric teased him. The truth was that neither of them really cared if Mark liked boys or girls. It wasn't like that for everyone in Queens, but Vince didn't really see the point in discriminating and Eric had a gay cousin that his family didn't really like to talk about. It just wasn't a big deal. But Eric could understand why Vince didn't want to have to deal with that harassment from his brothers or want to wonder what the girls thought of him being an actor.

"So I'll quit basketball," he decided. Eric laughed because Vince didn't even really have to think about it. If E thought it was a good idea, it had to be a good idea. That'd probably both nearly kill and save Vince a few times in his life. "But you have to come see me on opening night."

"I'll be in the front row," Eric promised with a smile as they cut across the empty lot where they played football a few months earlier. Snow covered the ground now, crunching under their tennis shoes. "Wanna come over for dinner? Ma is making spaghetti and peach pie."

Vince looked down the street at his own house before following Eric up the stairs and inside. It was the last day Vince ever played basketball. He quit the team the next day and got the leading role in the school play the following Tuesday. Eric was there on opening night, front and center. He's never missed a single premiere.


	42. Completion

**Completion.**

"That's a wrap," Eric just barely managed to say before Vince tackled him in front of everyone, kissing him deeply as a reward for wrapping his first film as a director. "I did it."

"Yeah," Vince grinned brilliantly. "You did, E. Just like you said you could and I knew you would." He had seen every frame being shot and knew exactly how amazing this film was going to be. Eric was poised to be the next big thing, and Vince was okay with playing second fiddle to someone else's career for once. He couldn't think of a more deserving star than Eric. "So when do I get to see this masterpiece of yours?"

Eric scratched the back of his neck nervously. The plan was to go back to New York to work with an editor he'd met during _Medellin_. Vince would be able to spend time with his family and E wouldn't have to worry about ignoring him while he was busy. There was more to it than that, though. He had an ulterior motive, one that he hadn't even shared with Vince yet. "Yeah, about that..."

"What does that mean?" Vince asked suspiciously. He had been patient through the long nights and the early call times because he believed that this would finally make Eric the big player that he wanted. With a handful of producer credits to his name, E was someone worth noticing in Hollywood. Directing his first film was a major move and one that Vince had supported fully. He just wanted his boyfriend back. "E?"

"I don't want to show you until it's done." The confession came in the form of a rushed exhale. Eric couldn't bare to look at Vince because he knew he'd only see disappointment. "I just want it to be perfect for you, Vin. You're the whole reason I could even do this. Not just because of the connections, either. Like, you gave me the confidence to do it, you know? And I want you to be proud of me. I know you are now, okay, you don't have to reassure me. It's just important to me."

Vince beamed at his guy and saw images of Eric at all phases of their life. He was the same guy he'd always been, just as tired and jaded and hopeful and together as he had been when they were street kids. He reached out and brushed a lock of Eric's hair away from his blue eyes and nodded his affirmation. "Just promise me you won't go all Billy Walsh on me, okay?" he teased. Eric had too much suit in him to ever been like Billy, but Vince could see traces of that same manic obsessive in Eric.

"As if," Eric laughed. The last thing in the world he wanted to be was the next Billy Walsh. "Though, we do have one thing in common besides worshiping you." Vince puffed out his chest proudly. He loved knowing that he was adored by Eric. "My mom is the only one besides the editor that is going to see this before it's done."

He could argue but there would be no use. "Fine, but I want to be the first one to see it when it's all the way done, even before the editor and your mom. I want to see the director's cut. Deal?"

"Deal," Eric grinned before kissing Vince. There were a million people around on the set, from production assistants and talent to caterers and security.

"Have I mentioned how proud of you I am?"

"A million times, yeah," Eric chuckled. "Thanks, though, seriously. You're amazing, and I couldn't have made it through this without your faith in me."

"Duh."

Eric laughs again as Drama comes over with Turtle right behind him. Eric bumps fists with Vince's brother and half hugs Turtle. Vince returns with a bottle of champagne he'd scammed off of craft services and Drama manages to snag a few cups from a passing coffee cart. They toast _their_ achievement, because that's' how E sees it – as a group effort that took all four of them to make it happen.

Six months later, Vince flicks the remote off and turns to look at Eric. They're at their house in the theater, Eric pacing nervously in the back while Vince watched the film for the first time. No one has seen it, not even the editor, in this final form. Just like he had promised on the set all those weeks ago, Vince had the privilege of the first viewing. Turtle and Drama were going to watch it with them later that same evening.

"Well?"

"Well..." Vince drawled. He looked at Eric and grimaced. He had always been a good actor. "I'm not sure how I feel about it, E."

Eric's eyes go wide with panic. "Wait? What? What's that mean?"

"I mean, your leading guy is kinda uh, hot."

Eric picked up a pillow and hurled it at Vince's oversized head. "Shut the fuck up."

"It was amazing," Vince gushed as he started to climb over the seats. He makes it to Eric in record time before pressing him against the wall. "You're gonna be a star."

"We'll be a real power couple," Eric agreed with a wry grin. "The paparazzi are gonna be climbing all over the driveway just wanting to get a shot of us doing something boring like picking up the paper."

"Yeah, they kind of already do that," Turtle pointed out as he came into the room toting a six pack of beer. Drama was close behind with popcorn from the gourmet place Vince loved back in New York and a box of Cheez-Its for Eric. "I think there were a few of them parked across the street actually."

"Ah, well," Vince shrugged as he collapsed back into a seat and pulled E down with him.

Drama grabbed the remote off the floor and started the movie back up. Turtle passed them both back a beer before settling into the black leather recliner. Having already seen it, Vince was more concerned with playing with E's hair than watching the screen. Eric leaned into Vince's palm and finally relaxed. He might have called cut months ago, but tonight, his directorial debut finally felt complete.


	43. Clouds

**Clouds.**

_Drip, drip, drip._

A puffy cumulus cloud and Vince's even puffier hair are the first thing E sees when he comes to after almost drowning at 4-H summer camp. For two kids from Queens, 4-H Camp is always a refuge from the hot summer heat. They get to stay up late, eat all the junk food they want, swim all day and watch the cute girls from the Girl Scout Camp across from the lake. Vince and Eric always looked forward to it, and this year had proven to be no different.

However, what E couldn't have expected was that the record rainfall the area had seen that spring and how high the lake was. One dive off the pier had taken a dark turn and he had nearly gone under for good. If it hadn't been for Vince and his strangely skillful swimming, he could have ended up going back to Queens in the back of a hearse. Instead, the sun is blocked out by Vince's big head and he's gonna be alright.

It's twenty years later and Eric is running down the stairs as fast as his legs will carry him. He can hear Drama yelling at Ari and Turtle behind him but his attention is wholly focused on watching the driver's side door. The air smells of burning gasoline and he's trying to push the security guy out of the way.

"Who gives a fuck about the fire?" Eric screams as he peaks over the guy's shoulder. He lets out an audible sigh of relief when Vince emerges in a cloud of smoke, his lanky frame huddled on the ground. Vince holds up his hand to indicate that he is okay but Eric is at his side in an instant. "Vince, are you okay? Can you hear me?"

Vince breathes heavily as he allows Eric to help him up. Eric notices how distant and dark his eyes are and doesn't like it in the least. He's seen that recklessness there before, and it never ends in anything good. After Mandy and after Medellin, Vince had nearly imploded. "Vin, come on, just let the guy check you out," Eric pleads uselessly. Vince still hasn't let go of his arm but he's trying to shake off the paramedic. Ari and Turtle are behind Drama, concern written across all three faces.

"I saw my life flash before my eyes."

Eric hears Ari's wistful comment as the stunt coordinator helps Vince remove his pack. Eric is still by his side, his hand resting on his shoulder. He's afraid to stop touching him for even a minute, as if his touch is what's keeping him alive or something. "I didn't," Vince laughs humorlessly. "I just saw Ma and she was pissed."

Drama snorts and Eric has to smile because Rita Chase would kill her son if she knew what had just happened. And then she would kill Eric for letting him do it in the first place and Drama for standing by and watching while his baby brother risked his life. Turtle might escape from her wrath, but his own mother would kill him for not watching out for his friends. They were all screwed.

After a few moments, Vince shrugs everyone off and starts back, saying that he is ready to go again. Ari is in the director's face and Drama is chasing after his brother and Turtle is looking at E as if to say _What the fuck you gonna do now, Super Manager_? "Yeah, yeah, I'm on it," E mutters. He jogs ahead and finds Drama talking to a stone-faced Vince. "Hey, Drama, give us a minute?"

"Yeah, E, see if you can talk some sense into Baby Bro here," he says before patting Vince on the shoulder. "I'll be around if you need me."

Once Drama is gone, Vince holds up his hand as if to say he doesn't want to hear it. "You're gonna listen whether you want to hear it or not, so you might as well get comfortable," Eric informs him hotly. Vince makes like he is going to leave but E steps in front of him. Vince might have six inches and a few million dollars on E, but Eric is as tenacious as a bulldog. "You're not doing that again. I don't care what you think you have to prove or whatever, I am not letting you do it."

"Letting me?" Vince laughed cockily. "Since when do you _let_ me do anything? I pay you, E."

Eric swallows the insult because he knows Vince's head isn't in a good place. "You remember what you said back there? Your mom would be pissed," E reminds him. "I shouldn't have let you do that in the first place. And don't give me that shit about letting you do anything. You know that if I said not to do it, you wouldn't do it. You can assert your paycheck all you want, but it's not about the money between us so don't fucking go there."

Vince ducks his head like a little boy scolded. "Sorry, E," he apologized before leaning back against the dusty caravan truck. "I just have something to prove to myself now."

"How about you prove to me that you've been listening to me all these years and tell Nick to use a stunt double?" Eric nearly begs. "Vince, I cannot watching you do that again. You could have been seriously hurt. Yeah, I know you're fine, but what if we're not lucky next time? I do not want to have to call your mother and tell her that I let you fuck up your career or worse, your life. Please don't do that to us."

Nick ambles up, his camera tucked under his arm and a walkie talkie blaring from his pocket. "Ready to go again?"

"He's not going."

"I believe Vince can speak for himself," Nick nearly spat, looking disdainfully at Eric. "Vince?"

"I said he's not going."

Vince shrugs with a grin and looks up at his director. "You heard my guy, I'm out."

Eric and Vince don't say anything as they head back for his car. Turtle and Drama are behind in Drama's Continental. Eric pauses at a stoplight on Sunset and looks out of the corner of his aviators at his best friend.

"Hey, E, remember that time at 4-H camp when you almost drowned?"

"Of course I do," Eric replies, tapping his hand on the steering wheel. "I almost died." He could still see Vince's shadow looming over him and feel the cold lake water dripping on his forehead. "You saved my life."

Vince smiles as he remembers. "Yeah, I did, huh?" he remembers. "So we're even?"'

Eric arches his eyebrow at him. "You're kidding right?"

"Come on, I didn't do the stunt," Vince pleads. "Just give me this."

"Fine, Vince," Eric laughs as the car lunges forward. "Yeah, we're even."


	44. Sky

**Sky.**

"It didn't even crack the top ten."

Those are the dreaded words Ari mutters the Monday after Vince's latest indie flick opens to dismal reviews and a disastrous box office. Filming _Look Before You Jump_ had been a labor of love, one that Vince had devoted much of the past two years to after he had fallen in love with the script at Sundance. Some mouthy kid from Brooklyn had snuck into the Cartier gifting suite just to pass along the screenplay, and Vince being Vince, he had handed off to Eric along with the guy's contact information. Eric hadn't been completely convinced that it was going to be the hit that Vince thought it was, but his best friend hadn't been that excited about his career since _Medellin_ flopped.

Eric looks down at his hands before peering up at the super agent. Even with his cushy digs, he could see the hustler in Ari from when he had first signed Vince. Although his career had been rising then, landing Vince and a handful of superstars had put him on the map. Now that he was the head of the largest agency in the nation, Ari was more boardroom than on-set these days. However, he always made an exception for Vince, and that was why he was having this meeting himself personally.

"Alright, Ari, what do we do?"

Panic flashes across Vince's face when he hears Eric ask for advice. He was always so confident and sure of their next move, or at least that's what he let Vince believe. To hear him actually voice his concern worried Vince. Sure, he could tell when E was worrying, they all could. However, Eric was good at brushing it off.

Sitting behind his modern desk, Ari tries to remain composed. Both he and Eric had tried to convince that this film was a mistake but it was ultimately his call. Once a major studio gave him backing, there wasn't much they could do to stop it. Ari hadn't even had to make a deal. One call to a studio head who'd loved his work on _Gatsby_ and the film got the green light. "I don't know."

Vince gasps audibly, a rarity for him. He never worries unless it's about Eric but now that both of them have no idea what to do, he knows he has a problem. He's just about to hang his head and accept that maybe he really fucked up this time when Eric slams his hands down on the coffee table. "Uh uh, no fucking way, Ari!" Eric shouted angrily. "That's not what I want to hear. You are his agent and you better come up with a plan or we will go elsewhere. And don't say that no one else wants Vince because I am sure that Adam Davies would be more than happy to take him on as a client, not to manage that chick from CAA that was sniffing around a few weeks ago."

The prospect of losing Vince still scares Ari just enough that he nods seriously at Eric. "Fine, Pizza Boy, you wanna play hardball?" he shoots at E. "If you can find a studio that is willing to back Vince after this, I will make sure to get your boy whatever he wants."

Vince is pacing now, making a worn path behind the couch. Eric has to take the lead on this because he doesn't know what to do. Every time he thinks he does, he ends up being wrong. He feels stupid and as codependent as Kristen said he was all those years ago. Or was it Sloan? He can never remember.

"I can get Vince a project at Dreamworks." Eric says it as a statement of fact, not as a goal. Vince stops dead in his tracks. His eyes are so blue when he looks down at Eric hopefully, imploring him to just promise that everything is going to be okay as long as they still have each other. Eric nods slightly, a silent vow that he will make it happen. "I read something a few weeks ago. One of their VPs is on our client roster. He likes Vince. I can get the deal."

Ari rubs his hands hungrily. "Now we're talking."

"No," Vince declares. Both Eric and Ari look at their client. "No, Ari, I don't want you in on this deal. E found the project and he is going to make the deal. You didn't think I had any prospects, did you? When did you quit believing in me, Ari? I thought you learned your lesson when I fired you. I thought you understood."

"I did, Vinny," Ari replies. He's tired and his age shows just a little when he rubs his brow wearily. "I told you that I didn't know what to do. I didn't. It's bad this time, like even worse than _Medellin_ bad. I can't just put you in a shit movie, but I'm not fully confident that I can land you a huge deal. I don't want to promise you when I can't deliver. You matter more than that."

Vince starts to tell him he doesn't care when Eric reaches up and covers his hand. "Thank you, Ari," Eric answers for them both. "We appreciate the honesty. I want to work with you on this deal because I think we can get what's best for Vince. Even if we are on the opposite side about everything else, we both want that." Ari nods in agreement as E looks up at Vince. "You okay with that?"

"Whatever you think, E," he shrugs. "I trust you."

They spend the next hour hatching a plan and walk out of the agency feeling a lot better than when they went in. Vince has accepted that his pet project is a disaster but that there is a silver lining around the corner. Ari has agreed to let Eric be the point person on the deal and to follow his lead for once rather than undermining him at every turn. And Eric has let Vince slip his hand in his in public for the first time because it's just time. Vince trusts him and that's all he needs to believe that everything is going to be just fine.


	45. Heaven

**Heaven.**

"So then my professor starts actually asking me what it's like to live with Vincent Chase!" Turtle exclaimed, his eyes as wide as saucers. "Can you believe it? It's fucking LA, you'd think she would be used to it. Anyway, so she says something about how I could get extra credit if you'd come in and talk about the business. I told her she had to be off her fuckin' rocker if she thought my boy had enough time to come talk to some class at UCLA."

"I could make time if you need me to come in, Turtle," Vince offers, throwing his arm across the back of the booth behind Eric. "It's no big deal. I just have some looping to do later in the week, but I'm sure that I could work around your class."

"It's bad enough that girls already want to play 20 Questions every time they find out you're my friend. I kind of like that not everyone at school knows I know you," Turtle shakes his head. Johnny snorts next to him, understanding what it's like to live in the shadow of his baby brother's career. "Thanks, though, I do appreciate the offer. Besides, I'm not sure the missus here would let you out of her sight for that long."

"Ha-fucking-ha," Eric deadpans, glaring at Turtle and then at Vince when he joins in on the laughter. A waitress appears with their dinners and Vince's hand finds its way back to his lap. While he is oblivious to the eyes the blonde is making at him, Eric is completely aware of the desire dancing in her green eyes. If only she knew that she had no chance, she'd probably be more focused on the kid from _Gossip Girl_ at the next table. Once she's gone, he looks down at his fillet appreciatively and sighs. Being rich definitely has its perks.

Johnny groans happily as he cuts into his chicken. "This food is to die for. I gotta find out where they find their mushrooms," he praises before forking another bite into his mouth. Turtle shoots him a look of disgust. Johnny makes way too many inappropriate noises when he eats. "What? You wanna bite?"

Turtle ducks his head away as Johnny lifts up his fork in an innocent offer. "Stop trying to feed me at the fucking table, Drama," Turtle barks. "Looks, I know we don't want the paps figuring out that E and Vin are like, together or whatever, but I don't think it's gonna look all that great if they think we're gay either."

It's Eric's turn to laugh as Drama considers Turtle's comment for a moment. "Well, whatever, this coq au vin is a gift from God," he shrugs. Beside Eric, Vince takes a bite of his lobster and grins at his brother. His left hand is not-so-innocently making its way across his lap and toward Eric's thigh. An inaudible sigh escapes past Eric's lips, which he managed to cover up with a sip of scotch. "I wonder if they'll let me go back to visit the chef. What do you think, bro, help me out?"

Vince licks butter from his bottom lip, eliciting another gasp from Eric. This one isn't as quiet but only Turtle seems to notice. "Sure, why not?" he decides. "E, let me out." Eric holds a napkin over his lap as he slides from the booth. Turtle's face turns red as he tries not to laugh out loud and cause a scene. Vince seems nonplussed, simply patting Eric on the shoulder. "Be back soon, babe."

Eric blushes as he slides back into the booth and covers his face with his hands. "Babe?" Turtle ribs him, causing his friend to only bury his face even further into his hands. "Relax, E, it's fine. We're used to it. It's just funny to watch you squirm, that's all."

"It's getting harder, you know?" Eric says quietly. He and Turtle had always been close but had a different kind of relationship than the one they each shared with Vince. Vince and Turtle had always been about girls and smoking, drinking and partying. Vince and Eric were all about the depth. With E and Turtle, it had been about a united front in doing whatever it took to protect Vince. He rarely confided in Turtle but when he did, he knew that he could count on his other best friend to have his back until the end. When he really wanted to share a secret and have it kept, it was often Turtle that he turned to when he needed to talk it out. "Like, I know that people know or they think they know. It's like we're lying to the world."

"He loves ya, E, that's all that matters," Turtle reminds him. "Look, I'm not into dudes or whatever, but I want what you and Vince have...only with, like, a chick. You guys got the real stuff, ya know, the kind of thing that will go the distance. For once in your life, quit fucking worrying about what everyone else thinks and worry about what that guy thinks. 'Cause the way he looks at you, that shit doesn't come along every day."

"Yeah," Eric nods. Turtle can be surprisingly sensitive and incredibly insightful. "You're right. Thanks, man." He extends his hand across the table and bumps fists with Turtle. "Speaking of which..."

"Here comes your boy now," Turtle announces. Eric turns to watch Vince approach their table, that swagger telling Eric everything he needs to know about how the rest of the evening is going to go down. It's not just lust gazing back at him but love and friendship and the whole crazy ride. Turtle's right, he needs to worry less. And Eric can't help but think how right Johnny is when he said that the Coq au Vin was a gift from God. They just happened to be thinking about two very different pieces of meat.

E stays in place as Vince sits back down next to him. He reaches for Vince's hand under the table and squeezes before smiling up at him. Vince wants to reach up and stroke his cheek or something but instead opts for a promising wink. "So'd ya get the recipe, Johnny?"

"Nah," Drama shakes his head, "but he is going to let me come in next week and watch him cook. Who knows? I might teach him a trick or two."

"Sounds great, Drama," Turtle says as he rolls his eyes at Eric. "So what are we doing after this?"

"Beers by the pool?" Vince suggests and the other three guys agree. "Cool."

Eric leans back in the booth, content to just watch and listen. Drama starts talking about baseball and then Turtle turns the conversation toward some movie they'd seen last week and Vince brings up the obedience classes they were going to take Arnold to in a few weeks. He allows Vince to feed him a few bites of the crème brûlée at dessert and stands a little too close to him while they're waiting for the valet. He can't stop worrying completely, but it's a start.


	46. Hell

**Hell.**

"Ma, just talk to me."

"I don't have time to speak to you right now, Eric," she said, each syllable punctuated with anger and disdain. Her eyes were read and swollen as she tried to maneuver her pearl earrings through her lobes despite her shaking hands. They had been a gift from Eric, her only son, last year for Christmas. It was her twelfth without her husband. She still missed him every day and sometimes even more when she looked at her son. "We are late for church. Put on your sport coat."

Eric pulled on the Gucci jacket obediently, feeling like he was in the sixth grade rather than some Hollywood power player. Even with the $3,000 blazer, he was a child in his mother's presence when she scolded him. They'd been back in New York for two years now, returning after Murray had offered Eric the chance to head the East Coast office. Vince was traveling back and forth when he was shooting, and Eric came with whenever he could. They'd been together for three years.

His mother's Catholic guilt was worse than any review when they finally came out, so they spent every Sunday that summer in the third pew at St. Agnes. Eric would drive his mother dutifully each Sunday in the shiny black Mercedes coupe he bought for her but she never used. He would hold his mother's elbow and speak politely to the other parishioners and never show Vince even the slightest bit of affection in public. They would just sit on either side of Eric's mother in the pew, tithing generously and listening as intently as possible to the sermon. Afterward, in the car, his mother would ask Eric his thoughts about the message and talk to Vince about the music and pretend as if it were any other Sunday when they were children.

Vince was already waiting for them in the third pew when Eric came into the cathedral with his mother. Eric's face lit up as he smiled widely at Vince over his mother's head. A slight brush crept up Vince's throat and Eric felt a little proud that he was the only one who could ever make the beautiful superstar turn crimson. "Vincent is right over there," his mother said softly before stopping to talk with one of the ladies from the neighborhood. Eric stayed at her side, pretending to listen as the two women prattled on about the food drive the church was heading the next week.

"Hello, Mrs. Murphy," Vince greeted Eric's mother politely, standing to kiss her cheek chastely just as he had every time they'd gone to church since the boys were six. He usually called her Ma, but something about it had seemed wrong once she realized they were more than just friends. The word had taken on a whole new meaning. Vince smiled at Eric, which earned a sharp look at Vince and an elbow to the stomach for Eric. "My ma should be here any minute. She was on the phone with Johnny. He's up for some big part. You know how he gets."

"Yes, how is Johnny?" Eric's mother asked, turning to listen as Vince filled her in on all the details of Drama's latest exploits. Eric already knew all of this and instead opted to lean back and stare at the scary paintings on the chapel's ceiling. They had terrified him as a child, putting the fear of God in him about sin long before he knew what the commandments even meant. By the time he was in high school, Catholicism had just faded to be another trait in him – like being Irish or from Queens.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Murphy." Eric looked up to see Gina Rosco leaning over the pew toward his mother. "My mother was hoping that you could help her prepare communion. Mrs. Lucci was supposed to help her but she had to go to the hospital. Anna Beth went into labor a few weeks early."

"Of course," she replied, standing up. She looked between the boys, her blue eyes glittering. She was so much like Eric sometimes that Vince couldn't help but smile. "You two boys behave yourselves until I get back."

"Yes, Ma," Eric smiled obediently, standing up to usher his mother out of the pew. He waited until she was long out of earshot before sliding over into the pew. He wanted to reach for Vince's hand or put his arm across the back of the pew. Instead, he just leaned his head over as if he were talking softly out of respect for their surroundings. "I missed you last night."

"You should have come earlier then," Vince said suggestively. Eric had worked late while Vince had stayed home and slept. He'd been filming long hours all week and relished weekends where he could lounge around their loft. No one in Queens knew about their relationship because they were living in Manhattan. Eric still kept his official address at his mother's house. She didn't particularly like lying for her son but also knew what it meant to keep this private. "Are you coming back to the city with me after or do you have dinner at your mom's?"

"I was hoping that you would come with me," he suggested. While his mother wasn't thrilled about their relationship, she also tried her best to be supportive. She had told Eric more than once that her faith taught him that their relationship was a sin. However, she also couldn't imagine turning out her old child. "Ma got a brisket on sale from Safeway, and I think I heard her mention something about apple pie."

In the back of the church, Mrs. Murphy stood, watching her two boys leaning toward each other. It looked completely innocent but she knew that it was anything but. Her two boys, Vincent and Eric, they loved each other. It was a constant battle of faith for her. She loved them both more than she could imagine loving anyone, but she'd been a Catholic her whole life. She never imagined that her Eric would be _gay_ (a word she still had a hard time saying aloud), but he was. And he was in love with someone who loved him as much back. That was what made her question her faith. How could a love that unconditional be wrong?

She returned to her pew and settled in as the priest started in on the sermon. It was a typical service until it came time for the second passage reading. It was from the book of Leviticus and led right into the sermon. The priest started talking about sin and outlining the different types of wrongdoing outlined in the length chapter of the Old Testament. With each sentence, she could feel Eric growing more and more tense beside her. Vince had long tuned out and was playing with a piece of thread coming loose from his dress shirt. She was just about to pat his forearm when she heard the priest say, "It is disgusting that people call this homosexual behavior – a mortal sin – a kind of love."

That was enough to cause her to bolt up in her seat. She had been a proud Catholic for sixty-two years, not once doubting what she heard in church each Sunday was the absolute truth. However, if this supposed man of God was going to stand there and call her son something horrible for loving Vincent, she just wasn't going to keep her mouth shut. "Excuse me, Father O'Brien, I think you are wrong there."

Father O'Brien looked out over the congregation until his eyes landed on a petite redhead. Her hands were balled in fists on her hips. Her son was hunched over in the pew next to her, his head in his hands, while Vincent Chase was looking absently out the window. "Mrs. Murphy, I appreciate your opinion, but this is neither the proper time nor place for a debate."

"Are you God, Father O'Brien?"

"Of course not, Mrs. Murphy," he chuckled.

"Then who are you to stand up there and tell us what He thinks?" she accused him. Parishioners looked between the priest and the woman excitedly, as if this were a verbal tennis match and the truth was the fuzzy yellow ball at play. "For so long, I have made my son pretend to be something that he is not because I thought – no, I _knew_ – what this church would say. I cared more about what you all thought than him being happy. You know what? I think that's a worse sin than the fact that Eric loves Vincent. What do you think?"

The priest shifted uncomfortably behind the pulpit. They all knew about Eric and Vince but never spoke of it. It's just the way things were done there. "I'm sorry, but I think that your son is wrong, Mrs. Murphy."

The accusation broke Vince out of his ambivalent haze. "Excuse me?" he spoke up, standing next to Mrs. Murphy angrily. His mother tried to pull on his shirt sleeve, but Vince shook her off easily. "Look, you can say what you want about me, I don't really give a damn." The church buzzed around them. "Yeah, I cursed, I think we've already established I'm a sinner. Calm down." Eric laughed to himself as the crowd hushed. "Eric is the best person I know. He is a good man. He loves his mother. He comes to church every weeks, volunteers at the soup kitchen, gives generously and regularly attends confession. He does his best to never speak ill of other people, he is incredibly kind and works harder than anyone. His only misfortune is that he happened to fall in love with a man, and as that guy, I have to tell you that I think you're all wrong. People look their entire lives for the kind of love I have with E. I just can't imagine a world or a God that would think that's a sin."

"Well, the Bible says otherwise, son," the priest said, holding up the thick black leather book. "You can't argue with God."

"He's not," Mrs. Murphy said. "He's arguing with you and how you're interpreting what you think God meant when he said that. The Bible isn't perfect, Father O'Brien. It can't be. It was written by man, and we both know that man isn't perfect. It's been translated and interpreted for generations upon generations."

"Perhaps, Mrs. Murphy, but the essential truth is still there."

"For you to conveniently define," Vince countered.

The priest was quiet for a moment before looking out over the rest of the congregation. "I have entertained this outburst for long enough. Now I have to kindly as you to either take your seats or leave my church," Father O'Brien requested.

Mrs. Murphy started to sit down before standing back up. She reached down for her son's hand and pulled him up. "We're going home, Eric," she declared loudly. Eric filed out of the pew nervously but proudly. His mother rested her hand on his back as she guided him toward the back of the church. When they were halfway down the aisle, she turned back and looked at where Rita and Vincent chase were still sitting in shock. "Come on, Vincent, I said we're going home."

Rita narrowed her eyes at her youngest son before shrugging and following after her son. She had always been the mouthy one, but she was proud to see Eric's mother stand up for both their boys. "Oh., and Father O'Brien," Rita announced. "You know that very generous endowment Vincent was going to give to the church? I think we'll be giving it to another church. I do hope you understand."

Vince looped his arm through his mother's and guided her out of the church after Eric and Mrs. Murphy. Once they were outside, the four adults burst into laughter as Eric hugged his mother proudly and Rita kissed Vince's cheek. And then Mrs. Murphy gathered Vince into her arms and whispered, "I'm so sorry, my son," into his ear before squeezing him tightly. He pulled back and nodded understandingly before hugging her again. Eric watched on, his arm around Rita in the warm Sunday sun. All was truly forgiven.

"What do you say we go for some brunch," Vince suggested, walking backward down the street toward the parking lot where Eric had left the Mercedes. Mrs. Murphy said that sounded like a good idea and strolled slowly behind the boys with Rita. She watched as Eric finally held Vince's hand in public for the first time in Queens and missed her husband. They had been a good family, but from where she stood, this one was turning out to be pretty damn good.


	47. Sun

**Sun.**

"Steven Spielberg, top billing, $11 million and approval on casting."

Eric slid the official contract across the table toward Ari and waited for the super agent's gasp of disbelief. Everyone said that it couldn't be done, but yet, Eric had just closed the deal of the decade for his prized client. _Another New York Love Story_ had been a hot commodity on the screenplay market last spring, and every hot actor in Hollywood was dying for the lead. One read through and Eric had known that Vince was made for the part. He had promised that he would get his client the role and exactly forty-six minutes ago, he had received a fax in his home office confirming that he would fulfill his promise.

"I can't fucking believe it."

"Well, you better fucking believe it because that is Steven's signature at the bottom. Vince is doing this movie and he got all the concessions that he deserves," Eric boasted proudly. He had been integral to many deals before, but there was something extra sweet about this one. He had worked it on his own from beginning to end. "Vince is gonna kill in this movie."

Ari was still pouring over the contract when Vince strode into the office with Turtle and Drama in tow. He had been across town shopping with the boys at Armani when Eric had called and told him to meet him at the agency. Turtle and Johnny were about to hang back when Eric waved them in. "Everyone's in for this one, screw Ari," he announced. Turtle grinned and patted his friend on the back while Drama puffed out his chest proudly. He loved being part of the inner circle.

"What was so important that I had to leave my fitting?" Vince asked as he collapsed on the couch. Eric watched as he reclined back, spreading his legs and leering at him suggestively. They had been together for five years now and officially registered as domestic partners for two years. Other than the fact that Drama and Turtle didn't live in the mansion with them and that they shared the same bed, it was pretty much like it always was. It's funny how little had changed one they had realized they liked screwing each other. "Poor Turtle was really workin' this cute sales girl, E."

"Yeah, E, it better be good," Turtle added, grinning at his old friend. Turtle was doing well these days, his transportation company the biggest in the city and about to open a satellite branch in San Francisco. He still pretty much usually rolled with Vince, especially since a lot of the business ran itself. "What was so important that you had to ruin our fun?"

"Were you worried that we were going to keep your man out all night?" Drama teased. He was back on _Five Towns_, which was now in its eighth season and the nation's top-rated drama. The old studio exec had lost his job after he was caught sexually harassing an intern. "Geez, Vince, when did you start answering to the missus?"

Eric glared at his friends. They were always ribbing on him about something, and his marriage to Vince was no different. Vince smiled at Eric before pretending to think. "Hmm, I think it started when we were about six," he mused. "What do you think, babe?"

"_Babe_?" Ari growled. He still wasn't exactly thrilled that his superstar liked boys. It had kind of killed his heart throb status for awhile until people realized that he was still hot.

"If we are done acting like we're seven, I have some news," Eric interrupted. He snatched the contracts and passed them over to Vince. He started to scan the document, with Johnny and Turtle looking over his shoulder. Vince read softly aloud until he came to the part that mattered. That was when he went silent and stared up at Eric with wide eyes. "Yeah, so that's why you're here. Your husband, the missus, is kind of amazing."

Vince's amused smile is so bright that E barely hears Ari call him the luckiest leprechaun cocksucker on the West Coast. "I'm going to be in a Spielberg film?" he asked Eric, jumping to his feet to wrap his partner in his arms. Vince squeezed him tightly before he felt Johnny throw his arms around him from behind. "And you managed to get Johnny a role."

"It's all about family, right?" Eric asked as Johnny nearly suffocated him. Turtle watched and laughed, content to be on the outskirts as always. When Eric managed to peel Drama off his back, Turtle exchanged a manly hug with Vince and bumped Eric's fist. "So, I did good?"

"Uh, yeah," Vince stated obviously. "You're so getting lucky tonight."

"I so didn't need to hear that," Turtle complained. "Seriously, E, this is sick. Spielberg?"

"Steven said that Vince was the only person he could imagine doing the role," Eric said coolly. He had to be nonchalant in the namedropping, even if his heart was racing a million miles a minute. He knew how big this film was. It would put Vince in a whole different league. "Filming starts in two months in New York. It looks like we'll be spending the fall at home."

Turtle and Drama started talking excitedly while Ari looked over the contract some more. Vince watched for a moment before turning to Eric. "This is amazing, E," he praised him. "Thank you."

"I promised you that you would do this movie, Vin," he reminded him. "I meant what I said, you were made for this role. You are this character."

"I'm gonna be in a Steven Spielberg movie," Vince realized. "We've got to call Ma and your Ma. They're gonna be stoked to get to spend time with the kids." The twins they had adopted last year were now just over fourteen months old, and both grandmothers often lamented that their granddaughters were being raised too far from the boys' roots in Queens. "If I hadn't already before, I'd be completely in love with you now for this."

"Lucky for you that you already were," Eric taunted. "Do you think I work this hard for my other clients?"

"Better not," Vince replied, leaning in to kiss him briefly. "So what do you say, guys? Feel like celebrating? I'm sure Ari wouldn't mind watching the girls tonight so that we can fly to Vegas."

"Like you're fucking leaving me at home," Ari shot back, already mentally planning his excuses to Mrs. Ari.

Vince laughed and shook his head. "You're right. I'm sure that Shauna wouldn't mind keeping the girls. Her kids love playing with Hallie and Brooke," he said. Eric took that as his cue to make arrangements. Vince was the idea guy. Eric just turned those dreams into realities. "Vegas?"

"Vegas, baby," Turtle agreed, rubbing his hands together greedily.

So while Turtle started to make party plans, Ari lied to his wife and Drama looked over how many lines he was guaranteed in the movie, Eric made arrangements for the girls and Vince admired his man. When everything was figured out, they headed for Turtle's limo and toward the airport. And when they got on the plane, Vince leaned over and whispered into Eric's ear, "We'll have our own celebration tonight in our room. I think I need to show you a lot of gratitude." Eric turned red but agreed eagerly. They really deserved it.


	48. Moon

**Moon.**

It's the first year Eric came out from New York and he doesn't remember struggling this much since the winter his father lost his job at the plant. They barely manage to scrounge enough money together most weeks to split a six-pack of beer between the foursome, and Vince has to resort to flirting with party girls at the clubs to get their bar tab picked up. Eric can recite the dollar menu at Wendy's from memory, and Johnny is getting tired of trying to turn Costco bulk into gourmet. It's not exactly the glamor they had in mind.

Eric came out when Vince called, begging him to come help him go through a few offers that had come in since the Vicks commercial at the guest spot on _Jag_. They share the cramped double in the spare bedroom of Johnny's apartment while Turtle has the couch. There are nights when they fall asleep mid-sentence, Eric's shin pressed against Vince's beneath the sheets. It's not ideal but it's comforting in some ways. Other nights, they would just stare out the big window at the night sky, both of them thinking about when their future would finally come. The moon looked the same in Los Angeles as it did in Queens, and sometimes that was the only comfort either of them had.

And then, one night, Vince doesn't come home and Eric sits up all night worrying. Vince finally texts him at 3 a.m. with some line about a girl but Eric still can't sleep. He finds himself jealous and unexpectedly angry, as if he has been betrayed or even cheated on. When Vince crawls in the next day before sun up, Eric moves closer to the wall so that he doesn't have to acknowledge his best friend's presences. What he wasn't prepared for was that Vince sought him out, wrapping him in his arms and holding him tightly from behind.

Vince's eyes are wide when he wakes up and realizes that he is wrapped around Eric's back. Then, he relaxes a little because this is his best friend and it doesn't have to be weird. He was still a little lit when he got home. He can just blame it on the vodka. "Sorry about that," he murmurs, his breath tickling the back of Eric's neck. Vince watches the pale skin prickle and chuckles enough that his head falls forward. His nose is in E's hair now, and Vince can smell that distinctly Eric scent.

Eric somehow manages to turn over in Vince's arms and looks up at his best friend innocently. Vince's heart breaks a little because he still loves the way he looks in Eric's eyes best. "Vin, come on." His words are quiet and somewhat scary in the dusky dawn. Vince knows what's coming next and Eric can't find the words so there's this moment where they both freak out a little. And then Eric slides his hand into Vince's hair and Vince throws his leg over Eric's and they move toward each other in perfect harmony. Forehead to forehead, Eric tries to look into Vince's eyes and just savor the moment.

"I don't know what I'm doing." Vince's admission causes Eric to smile a little because he is the only one that could ever get such a confession from the otherwise confident man. The best part is that he doesn't have to know what he is doing because Eric is in control. He knows where they are headed. "You smell like you." Eric laughs and asks him who else he would smell like. Vince's voice is sad when he answers, "She just didn't smell like you."

As someone who knows Vince, he gets what that means and what saying those words cost his best friend. "I'm still here," he promises, moving a little closer so that Vince can smell the lemon soap and the cheap aftershave and the bad taste of his morning breath. "When you're famous and we have a house so big that we can live entire lifetimes without seeing each other, do you think we'll look back and miss being cramped like this?"

Vince studies Eric for a moment and shakes his head. "I'll still be in your space even when I have millions of dollars to my name," he predicts before letting his hand slide down casually to E's hip. He's sharp and bony where most girls are soft, but there are still little sparks of electricity from their intimacy. It's better than it is with any girl because he still wants Eric to be there when he wakes up. And then he kisses Eric and it's better than any girl he's ever kissed (even Gina Capelli under the bleachers junior year – his measuring stick up to now) because it's emotional and it's meaningful and it's deep and it's real.

A small sigh escapes from Eric's lips and he knows then that he's done for. This is his new definition of happiness. Then he kisses Vince again and kisses him again for the next several hours. They don't do more than that, exploring all the ways there are to kiss and how they fit together. Turtle bangs on the door after awhile but the guys just pretend to be snoring and asleep when he peers in. Johnny calls out to them a little bit later, inviting them for a rare dinner out at the diner around the corner. When they fail to answer again, the guys head out and Vince resumes kissing E on this ridiculously soft place behind his left ear. Somewhere between the sun setting and the moon rising, one or both of them realizes that it's probably love, and maybe the moon isn't the only thing that's the same in L.A. and in Queens and it's hard to imagine anything more comforting than that.


	49. Waves

**Waves.**

The need to have Vince in his bed comes to him in waves, ebbing and flowing in time to the moments when knows that he can have him and the moments that he actually does. Their whole emotional tug-of-war comes to a head that summer after _Medellin_ when they both seemed determined to lose themselves in very different ways. While Vince was content to drown in sex and tequila in Mexico, Eric was resigned to building his brand in Los Angeles. If it hadn't been for a glimmer of a hope for a great audition for Vince, he probably would have respected his best friend's wish for a summer of freedom.

Colombia had been hell on both of them. When he wasn't smoking too much (a bad habit he'd rediscovered after the long hours of sooth Walsh's ego) or sleeping too little, Eric was worried about making sure that Vince ate enough, that production was on schedule and that the bills were being paid. And while Eric did that, Vince worried about Eric. That was what started the sleeping arrangements in the first place. A late night out with the guys had ended with a very drunk Eric collapsed on Vince's bed. When they woke up in each other's arms, neither of them thought it was that strange.

It stayed like that throughout the shoot, after Sloan called to break up with Eric and Vince quit looking at the pretty extras. They bonded like no other time in their lives, working together on the biggest project of their careers and sleeping together at night in Vince's dingy cabana. Turtle almost caught Eric sneaking out one night, but he successfully lied about some script changes. Eric considered telling Vince that they had to be more careful but when he found himself awake and missing him at 2 a.m., he crept across the property in the dark and crawled into Vince's waiting arms.

However, when things had gone south in the aftermath, it was Eric that took most of the blame in the situation. Though Vince could never come out and say it, E knew that his best friend had counted on him to make this movie work. He had tried his hardest, but it hadn't been good enough. Vince tried to convince him that everything was fine, but his so-called version of fine ended with 1,500 miles and three months between them.

And now, here was – dressed in Armani on a Mexican beach, resembling exactly The Suit that Walsh had long accusing him of being. Vince was sprawled out with a pair of exotic beauties, and Eric hates himself a little for being jealous. And then Turtle and Vince are making their way toward the trio from Hollywood and Eric forgets about being nervous. He just relishes the sight of his best friend after a four-hour ride in a rickety sea plane crushed between a bitching Ari and an obnoxious Drama.

A short walk along the beach later and Eric is chasing Vince like he always has. He finds his best friend with a trio of girls in a hammock and hates himself a little more for having to ask for a minute of his time. However, he knows this Ernst film has great potential for Vince and he needs it. Maybe even more importantly, Eric needs Vince to have it. There is no way that Vince will ever make this career move for himself, but Eric has a secret weapon. He has himself.

"Maybe you can go out like that, but I can't," Eric tells him. He goes on about how he founds this movie and how he can't be responsible for ruining his best friend. Vince sits perched on the edge of the paddle boat and listens to Eric talk about how good he is. Eric knows that he is stroking Vince's ego and seems completely vulnerable. He also knows that it's working. "You've got to do one more thing. You've got to let me help you get back to where you were supposed to be."

They exchange a few more words before Vince looks around and sighs resolutely. "Okay, E, I'll go," he agrees. Though sunglasses block their eyes, they both know that their gazes are fixed on each other. "For you."

They tell the other guys that they're going back, and Turtle runs off to get his goodbye present from Carol. Drama is learning cooking tips from a few of the beautiful natives, and Ari just calls out, "He needs to shave."

That's how they end up in the only completely private room in the cabana, the door locked behind them and Vince more in Eric's space than he's ever been. Ari managed to find a cheap razor and a can of Mexican shaving cream – or at least what E hopes is shaving cream. Vince sets the stuff down on the counter and turns to Eric. E sits in the small wicker chair and leans back, smiling happily just to see him. "You look good, Vin," he praised, admiring the tan and the way his dark hair has grown out to frame his face. Yeah, he could do without the beard but Vince is still beautiful as ever.

"You look stressed," Vince retorts, coming across the small room toward E. He slips his knee between Eric's and half straddles his lap before leaning in for a taste. They kiss for a moment before Eric tugs on his long curls impatiently. "What? Already?"

"Your bony knee is digging into my thigh, moron," Eric mutters before shifting Vince's leg between his and settling his hands in Vince's hair. He threads his fingers through the silky curls, relishing the way Vince almost purrs as he rubs his scalp. "Your hair has gotten long." Vince smiles at him behind dark lashes before leaning in for another brief kiss. "We don't have time."

Vince slides out of Eric's lap and to his knees on the floor in front of him. Eric hisses when Vince's hands find their way to Eric's thigh but he smiles like a lovelorn dope when Vince just lays his head down. Eric buries his hands again in his hair. "I missed you like hell, man," Vince confesses, cuddling closer to Eric as he can in the chair. "Turtle is great company and the girls were hot, but it wasn't the same. When everyone was gone at night and I was alone, you were the only thing I could think about."

"So why didn't you call?"

He had been waiting for that question. "Because I knew you would ask me to come home and I knew that I would," he answers. "I guess I wasn't ready for that yet. I just needed some time."

"Time away from me?" Eric asks. Vince hears the unvoiced _ Away from us?_ question that Eric can make himself ask. He shakes his head and pats Eric's hand. "Good."

"The plane will be here in thirty, bro," Drama yells through the door. "Have you seen E?"

"Okay, I'll be ready," Vince shouts back, grinning up conspiratorially at E. "I think E went for a walk. He said something about checking in with Charlie."

Once they hear Johnny pad off, Vince peels himself off the floor and sets to work shaving. Eric had always enjoyed this part, watching Vince get ready. He'd always loved it with women too, but there was something more intimate about watching Vin shave. Vince lathers up and Eric comes over, taking the razor from him to do the job himself. And when Vince's face is smooth again, Eric kisses it dry before capturing Vince's in a kiss so good that both their toes curl.

The kiss gets out of control as it so often does and E gets pressed against the far wall, Vince's hand disappearing down E's ridiculously expensive pants, and they spend the next fifteen minutes getting very reacquainted until Turtle pounds on the door and asks Vince what the fuck is taking so long. Eric laughs into Vince's shoulder as they untangle themselves. His need to have Vince has never been stronger or more certain, but this time is different. There will be no waves of when they will be together, it will just be so from now on.

"We're together now," Vince announces when they are back in L.A., just after he has rubbed his chin and complained that his face feels weird. Turtle curses from the driver's seat as the script falls onto the floor, Drama's jaw drops and Eric laughs as Vince's arms snake around the seat to rub his side. "We have been since Colombia." Turtle mutters under his breath and Johnny can't stop looking at his brother. "And had sex in the bathroom in Mexico. Just so everything is out there." And just like that, it was.


	50. Curls

**Curls.**

_There've been changes beyond my grasp, things I'm sinking in. So keep me in your bed all day. Nothing heals me like you do. _

It was a rainy, lazy Sunday afternoon, and Eric didn't have a place in the world that he had to be. He had been holed up in his bedroom for hours, alternating between taking cat naps, watching movies and messing around on the Internet. He'd found an online poker site last week while waiting for Vince at a fitting that seemed to kill his boredom, and the new Bruce Willis action flick had proven to be just like his last six. For a guy with the world at his fingertips, it was a pretty uneventful, nondescript way to spend part of a weekend.

The part that was keeping it from being a total lost cause was currently curled up in his bed. They were a million miles from anyone that knew that, and it was the first time in months when Eric felt like he could breathe. There were no pending deals, no meetings to take, no parties to attend, no interviews to do. It was the first time in years that they had time like this alone, where they didn't have to talk about business or worry about anyone but themselves.

Eric could spend an extra minute to watch Vince as he slept instead of worrying about the guys walking in on something they didn't want to seat. The need to be near him drew him to the foot of the bed, where the mattress barely dipped under his weight. Vince had fallen asleep after the Willis movie and Eric just didn't have the heart to wake him up. He was exhausted after the toll the Ferrari movie had taken on him.

A fond smile crept onto his face as he looked down at Vince. He always seemed almost innocent in his sleep, a far cry from the playboy he'd been before the last six months had changed everything – before Eric had ended his engagement with Sloan, before Ari had made a jump to the NFL, before Vince had considered retiring from acting. They were both so tired, but Eric didn't have to deal with the constant limelight. He just had to worry about keeping the light shining on Vince until he decided it was time to flip the switch off. But right, now he didn't have to think about that; his only focus was watching the man dream with a smile on his face. His black curls cascaded over the pristine white sheets, and Eric realized that Shauna was right – Vince would be a fucking beautiful Jesus.

They were in Vienna, a place that no one would ever think to look for them. Only Turtle and Johnny knew, and they were only to contact them if there was a family emergency. Vince hadn't bothered to check in at all, and amazingly, Eric had only rattled one email off to the guys when they had arrived to let them know the number of the hotel and that they had gotten there safely. Without the weight of business on them, they'd been like tourists – shopping in the city market, eating late dinners at restaurants, making love loudly in the mornings and doing all the couple things that Eric had missed for so long.

Vince and Eric had been out and proud from the beginning because that was what Vince wanted. Eric had readily agreed because he knew his best friend was terrible at lying. Besides, he felt more special than he had ever before when Vince's face would light up as he talked about them in an interview or how he held his hand easily in public. There were a few studios that had a problem with it, along with the usual conservative media outlets and their accompany audience. Vince really had never appealed to those people anyhow, so it didn't seem like a big loss.

_And when somebody knows you well; well, there's no comfort like that. And when somebody needs you; well. there's no drug like that._

"Come here." Vince's quiet demand woke Eric out of his wistful train of thought, and before he knew it, a pair of sienna arms were pulling him down on the mattress. Vince curls around Eric's back, his cold feet tucked beneath Eric's warm calves like always. "How long have I been asleep?"

The words are quiet, even as they are spoken into Eric's ear. The thunder rumbles outside, interrupted every once in awhile by a quick flash of lightening. "Awhile," he replied, snuggling closer to Vince for warmth. "Do you want to sleep some more?"

"Nah, I think I've slept plenty," he answered between trailing kisses along the curve of Eric's neck and behind his ear. "We could go downstairs and have a late lunch. Magda mentioned something about soup this morning at breakfast." When Eric voiced his dissent, Vince smiled against the back of his neck. "What do you want to do, E?"

"I want to take a walk," he decided. "After the thunderstorm dies down, we could take a walk in the rain. It's not too cold, so you shouldn't catch cold. We have those rain ponchos from the airport still. There was that book store around the corner that I wanted to go by. They might have something for Ma for Christmas. She likes old books."

"I remember," Vince smiled, thinking about the book shelf full of aging texts and photos of Eric in his mom's den. It was one of the few expensive things she allowed the boys to give her. As a librarian at the elementary school in Queens, she had always had a fondness for reading. Vince wondered sometimes if that is what made E so smart. "There is this other place I wanted to take you, too. I saw it the other day when I went to get us coffee."

And so, once the lightening dies down and the thunder quiets, Eric and Vince put on their ponchos and venture out into the cool summer rain. They held hands as they look through the book store, carefully selecting a few first editions Eric knew that his mother will love. They found an old copy of _Playboy_ that Vince got for Turtle and a great cookbook for Drama. Eric curled his arm around Vince's waist as they waited for the petite salesgirl to wrap up their packages and arranged to have them sent back to the hotel.

After the leave the book store, Vince led Eric around the corner to a small chapel he found that morning when he left in search of coffee. It was dimly lit with rows and rows of candles, and Eric paused to light one like a good Catholic as he came through the door. Vince watched him do the stations of the cross before kneeling at the front altar. Eric recited a short prayer before standing back up and looking up at Vince. "This place is gorgeous."

"Yeah, I thought you might like it," he replied. Eric's hair was wet from the rain and starting to curl slightly around his ears. Vince's heart swelled a little at the sight. "I've thought a lot about what I want to do when I get back to LA. I know we've talked about me stopping acting. I heard you loud and clear, but this is really what I want, E. I want to be the man behind the man. I've done everything that I wanted to do with my career."

"Vin, I can't ask you to give all that up..." Eric's voice trailed off.

"You're not, I'm offering," he whispered, reaching out for Eric's hand. "Take the job in London, E. I'll come with you. This is what you want, it's what you've always wanted. You put me first for a long time. I'm okay with you being selfish this once."

So they went home and Vince announced his retirement from Hollywood. He gave the house to Turtle and Drama and found a cozy loft for them in London on the Internet. They spend two weeks in Queens with their mothers, visit Shauna in Manhattan when she is in town to see a client and head to Park Avenue to finally see Ari's new office at the NFL Headquarters. Then, with no real glam and glitz, they fly to Heathrow and start a very nice private life with Eric as the bread winner and the head of England's biggest talent agency and Vince as a devoted house husband. He learns to cook, manages their house staff and spends a lot of time volunteering. And every night, they end their day like the ones they spent in Vienna, curled around each other safe in the arms of love.

_And when I'm home, curled in your arms and I'm safe again, I'll close my eyes and sleep to the sound of London Rain._

_**Author's Note:**__ Last chapter is coming up! I will have it posted tomorrow. The lyrics in this story is credited to Heather Nova from her song, "London Rain."_


	51. Supernova

**Supernova.**

The tabloids might say that Vincent Chase's star exploded when _Aquaman_ was released five years ago, but he would always trace that moment to when he was six years old and a mouthy Irish redhead from Queens agreed to be his best friend.

"_Man, this day is going to suck. It's like minus twelve degrees outside and we have basketball in gym today," Vincent Chase complained to Eric Murphy one day at the bus stop. It was the middle of the winter in Queens, and they were in the midst of a prolonged cold spell. Eric was bundled up so much that you could barely see his face behind his hat and scarf. Vince just has an oversized parka, clearly a hand-me-down from one of his older brothers. "Hey, want half my Pop Tart? It's cherry!"_

_Eric looked over at the kid next to him with his dumb floppy hair and stupid puppy dog eyes and grimaced. "Yeah, I guess," he muttered, swiping at the back of his neck in annoyance before taking the toaster pastry. "I'm Eric Murphy. I think I live a few houses down from you. You guys are the ones with all the kids, right?" Vince nodded, indicating that he was indeed one of the famous Chase clan. "My dad always yells at your brother, Johnny, for parking on the lawn. He doesn't like him very much."_

_Vince laughed and shrugged. "That sounds like Johnny," he grinned. "He's going to be an actor in California when he grows up. He's already saved up all his money, says he's going there after he graduates from high school next year. I'm gonna be just like him when I get big. You can go to Hollywood with me and be in the movies. I'm gonna be more famous than Mr. Rogers!"_

"_Nah, I want to play baseball when I grow up, and the Dodgers have sucked since they left Brooklyn," he pointed out. "I'm gonna play for the Mets, third base. But I'll come visit you when we play the Dodgers. You can come watch my games!"_

That is how the two of them form a lifelong bond built on promises made when they were six. While Eric doesn't become the all-star athlete he dreamed of, he does become part of a dream team all of its own. He is right by Vince's side through every step of his career, starting with the day that he decided to follow Drama to LA. Although he isn't in the passenger seat of Turtle's van when they leave Queens, he is there every single day on the phone with Vince, listening to him read scripts and advising him on what he would do if he was in his situation.

"_I don't know, Vin, the movie sounds like it actually has promise," Eric told Vince when he called with the script for Head On for the first time. They had been through a small stack over the past week, ever since some studio had decided that he was the next big thing. His new agent, Ari Gold, was all about getting Vince in whatever film would launch his career, but Eric knew that the first major project would set a tone for how Vince would be perceived. "The script isn't half bad and Jessica Alba is pretty hot. It sounds like a smart choice."_

_Eric was still in Queens, pulling long shifts at Sbarro's at night and taking classes at Queens Community College during the day. His dad had been gone for three years by then, and he was doing everything he could to keep them afloat without his mom having to go back to work full time. Vince hated how tired he sounded every time he called E. "What if you come out here when I make the movie? You could be my guy or whatever. Make sure you're on the set with me and stuff," he offered. He could afford to pay Eric more than the shit paycheck he pulled down from the pizza chain. "They're going to give me a stipend on top of what they're paying me. Besides, I need you out here."_

"_You've got Turtle," Eric pointed out as he rolled the pizza cutter over the steaming pie. He was dead on his feet, having worked a double after Tina called in sick because of her kids again. He kept thinking he would fire her but he knew that she needed the money. They all did. "Besides, I am not going to be your assistant."_

"_It wouldn't be like that, E, not with us," he assured his best friend. "I need you to look out for me, help me make my choices and stuff. Ari's good and all, but he is still all about the business. You're my best friend, E, no one would fight for me like you do. Say you'll come out here. I miss you like hell, man. It's time for you to come to LA."_

One phone conversation sent their life into a tailspin. Two weeks later, Eric stepped off the plane, and every week since then, he had sent his mother a check to help cover some of her expenses. She complained at first, when the guys were still struggling a little, but as the money got more plentiful, she came to accept that this was just something that her boys were going to do for her. When a few months had become a few years, Eric had realized that he was actually pretty good at this management business. Vince was nominated for a few awards here and there, built a strong resume, expanded into other aspects of production and became a bonified star under Eric's careful guise. There are expensive houses, luxury cars, exotic trips and women – lots and lots of women. But through it all, it stayed about the two of them until it was really just about the two of them.

_Eric paced in front of the fireplace nervously, his hands balled at his side as he tried to take in Vince's words. They had fought before, to the point where Eric had to put 3,000 miles between them just to breathe. They had cursed and yelled only to make up. He had always known what to say to Vince but he was speechless now. "What do you mean you have feelings for me?" he asked, stopping his worn path to look at his best friend. _

"_I mean, I was watching you with that girl tonight and realized that I was jealous. And before you say it, I wasn't just jealous because she was into you and not me," Vince tried to explain. He knew he could have buried it and probably should, but he had never lied to E about anything (other than Mandy) and didn't want to start now. He had been acting weird all night and when Eric had called him on it, he had to tell him the truth. "I was jealous because you were into her and not me."_

"_Fuck," Eric exhaled, his voice unsure how to sound. He wasn't angry or really all that surprised; a small part of him was even a little proud. Vincent Chase was a pretty good catch. He collapsed on the opposite end of the sofa and looked at Vince. "When? How?"_

_Vince shrugged. He rarely had an explanation. Things just were for him, he felt them and acted on them. He left it up to E to be his logical side and think for him. "E, I don't expect you to feel anything back. I just thought I should tell you because maybe you would and what's better than getting to be with your best friend?" He had known that it would tug at Eric's heart strings. His parents had been best friends before they'd fallen in love, and E had spent his entire dating life in pursuit of that. "Just say something."_

"_Shut up," Eric muttered before leaping across the couch. He captured Vince's mouth easily and hungrily, putting everything he had into the single kiss. He didn't know how he felt,but if he spent too much time thinking about it, Eric would never act on it. When Vince turned his head just so and slid his hand onto E's bicep, Eric felt a little something click. Vince swiped his tongue across Eric's lips before slipping into his mouth. When they both finally pulled away breathless, Eric looked at Vince in awe and covered his mouth. "Yeah, this might work."_

They were both surprised how well it did work. They start out slow, hanging out alone when they can and keeping things as chaste as possible. Vince knew that Eric liked to wait, and he relished the chance to court him. They would go on small dates in public without ever indicating something had changed. Three months in, they finally told the boys, and a year later, they came out to the rest of the world. Vince's career stumbled at first until the studios realized his sexuality didn't really seem to effect his appeal with audiences. Eric is at his side when he helps announce Oscar nominations, including one for his own work in the latest Jason Reitman flick.

"_And now, for nominations for best motion picture," announced Katie Sunderland. She had been Vince's co-star in his nominated work for When the Bough Breaks and had already garnered a supporting actress nomination herself. _

_Vince stepped up to the microphone and started to read before putting down the envelope on the podium. "Actually, Katie, hold on just a moment," he told her. He flashed an unapologetic smile at the dozens of cameras pointed at him and shrugged before turning to where Eric was standing in the wings. He crossed the stage and took E's hand. _

_E was glaring at him by now, cursing softly so that the sound guys couldn't pick it up. "What the fuck are you doing?" He never liked being on camera and still hated some of Vince's more stupid impulses. Interrupting the Academy Award nominations to talk to him was probably one of those, especially when they were being broadcast live around the world. _

_The movie star was quiet as he knelt down in front of Eric and pulled a ring from his pocket. "I was going to wait until later to do this, but I thought that my biggest dream just came true," he said. His eyes were locked on Eric, completely oblivious to anything else around them. Eric could almost let himself be pulled in after Vince. "But then I realized that I have a different dream than I used to. Yeah, this is awesome, but it's not as amazing as getting to spend the rest of my life with you. So that's what I'm doing here, asking you to be mine forever and always. What do you say, E? Will you marry me?"_

Eric accepted, punched Vince slightly on the shoulder and kissed him deeply all on national television before Vince went back to the podium to announce that his film had also received a nomination for best film. They both won, and two weeks later, they are married in a small private ceremony in New York with paparazzi chomping at the bit for the first photograph of the happily wedded couple. The whole affair threw them into an entirely different level of fame, but Eric and Vince stay within their inner circle and move into a securely gated community in the Hollywood Hills. On their first anniversary, Vince flew them both to Fiji to celebrate, and Eric arranged a two-week trip to Auckland their second year. By year five, they've both seen the world and decide to adopt a little girl from Montana after falling in love with her photo on the Internet.

Allison Mae Murphy (they are both using Eric's last name by then) was the light of their life from the beginning, already too smart for her own good at the ripe age of five. They enrolled her in dance classes and the private school where Ari had sent his kids. She played on the soccer team, which Drama helped Eric coach and Vince was present for every game. They take trips to Disney World instead of Vegas, bringing along with a newly married Drama and his wife as well as the recently reunited Turtle and Jamie. Allison doesn't mind the cameras so much and smiled prettily whenever someone asked to take her picture. Eric is more protective than Vince but they are both careful when they are in public. She doesn't seem to notice that her life is out of the ordinary.

"_Daddy, can I have Haley and Alex over to spend the night on Friday?" she asked Eric one Tuesday morning as they sat at the counter eating breakfast. She was sharing a bowl of sugary cereal with Vince while he ate an egg-white omelet. Sometimes it was like he was raising two kids. _

_Eric took a long sip of his coffee. Alex's parents were conservative and not exactly thrilled that their only child was best friends with the daughter of a gay Hollywood couple. Still, it wasn't either of the girls' faults that they were ignorant bigots. "If their parents say it's okay, it's fine with me," he told her. "But you have to ask Dad."_

"_Dad, can they come over?" she implored Vince, her doe brown eyes fluttering in a way that she knew already made it impossible for him to say no. From the moment she had met them, Eric was Daddy and Vince was Dad. It was less confusing and those were the names she had chosen. "Pleeeeease?"_

_Vince grinned over Ali's head at Eric. They both knew where she got her charm from. "Fine with me, Ali Mae," he told her as a car honked outside. "Sounds like Haley's mom is here. Grab your backpack, and I'll walk you out so we can ask her." She clapped happily and bound up the stairs to find her backpack, leaving them alone. "So sleep over Friday night?" _

_Eric leaned across the counter and kissed Vince briefly. "Yeah, sounds like," he murmured between kisses. "But don't forget that she is spending the night with Turtle and Jamie on Saturday night so that we can have a little sleep over of our own."_

The three of them make a happy family of their own, and Allison grew up to be a beautiful woman. She is the first one in their family to go to college, graduating with honors from Stanford with a degree in business. Vince was still making movies, a true leading man just a year shy of his 50th birthday. Eric owned stake in Ari's agency after they had taken it full-service, adding a management team headed by Eric. Drama had twin boys in high school, and Jamie and Turtle had a daughter in seventh grade and a son who just started college. All three of the boys are in love with Ali, but she had already fallen hard for someone else. Eric and Ari still hated that it had to be Jonah but knew that it was inevitable that they would be connected for life.

Vince had three Oscars to his name by that time, and Eric had a pair as executive producer on a couple of critically acclaimed films. They had been on countless magazine covers, topped _Forbes_ Hollywood list twice and had climbed the ranks of Hollywood to sit atop a nice throne. But they were still the boys from Queens, watching the Knicks religiously, drinking beer straight from the bottle and knocking out a couple rounds of golf with the boys every Thursday afternoon. They visited Jonah and Allison in San Francisco once a month where she was working in publishing and Jonah was in his residency at Saint Francis Memorial.

It's been twenty-five years now that they've been together, and Eric is still the center of Vince's universe. The fame and acclaim mean nothing next to his daughter and husband. The tabloids still care that he is a superstar, but he doesn't need to be famous to the masses to know that he is a star in Eric's beautiful eyes. Their love affair was the stuff of fairytales, even if it was a slightly screwed up version where the prince gets the other prince.

_**FIN.**_


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